New York – Attorney Mrs. Ruchie Freier, founder of B’Derech will be a special guest on Talkline with Zev Brenner, this Sat night, January 17, at 12:30 AM. The program can be heard over Radio station WMCA, 570 AM or via www.talklinecommunications.com. Topics discussed will be the crisis of youth going off the “derech” and how the education system is failing us.
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B’Derech was formed with the goal of developing a grass roots kiruv kerovim movement.
We have seen the amazing growth of the baal teshiva simultaneously with the rise of children from frum homes going off the derech. B’Derech aims to create an outreach program to bring these disenfranchised children back in the fold.
Also, B’Derech wants to stem the tide of the disenchantment children are developing towards Yiddishket. By instilling emunah, bitachon and simcha into their lives, easing the pressure placed on conformity and onerous standards.
Bringing the principles of the Baal Shem Tov back! He is the paradigm of outreach to the less literate, less scholastically inclined. Countering the quest for excellence and elitism in our educational system. And encouraging laypeople to be “mekarev” kids wandering off the derech.
keep your advise for yourself you are not rabbis
Not only isn’t she a Rabbi but she admitted herself during her last show appearance that she has little to no experience with this matter. This seems more like an attempt, albeit a poor one, at becoming involved in the community, than true chessed.
Some of you people have major chutzpah. So far I see nobody doing a thing about the kids at risk crisis except for these three woman who you have nothing nice to say.
If you think you can do a better job then get off your high horse and do something positive instead of talking non sense about three woman who are at least trying.
Is it a crime that they are woman and not rabbis? Since when do people have to be rabbis in order to get something done for the klal?
What would be nice is if Rabanim, Roshei yeshivos and parents can do something to prevent kids from going off the derech in the first place.
You can get rid of cell phones, internet, newspapers which are all garbage but that is not the answer to todays problems. 100 years ago there plenty of maskilim and others going off the derech and that was without airplanes, internet, cell phones and texting. So maybe what kids need todays is a real lesson in yirai shomayim and a little love from rabeim? Yiddishkeit if taught properly and not shoved down peoples throat will bring kids to love yidishkeit.
The system must change because the results we are getting today is pitiful and a disgrace.
To any mechanech that is reading this and runs a school there is a big lesson taught by Albert Einstein and it goes like this.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
I have a completely novel idea. Instead of considering Mrs. Freier a rebel, why not listen to what she says, and give serious consideration for the work she does with kids no one else wants.
The disenfranchised youth have no one to consult, and nowhere to go. The streets of Boro Park (and other neighborhoods) are teeming with kids that are without yeshivos. Yes, our holy yeshivos dumped them on the streets without serious efforts to help them. This situation is rampant. Virtually every single yeshiva in Brooklyn can own up to one or more such talmidim. These are not “bad” kids, and they are not as rebellious as we believe. They are suffering and lonely. They are affected seriously by the hypocrisy they observe. Some have learning needs that render them non-excellers in yeshivos that are bent on producing “gedolim”. Some have true learning disabilities. Some have families that are abusive or non-nurturing. The internet did not attract them. “We” threw them out. These kids are thirsting for something. And the only welcoming arms are among the elements we least want for our children.
So B’Derech is trying to make a difference. So far, there have not been many shailos that need poskim to answer. But there are also connections through which such questions are being asked. Nothing against halacha is being done. On the contrary, B’Derech is seeking to pick up those precious neshamos that “we” have neglected.
So, to the commenters that are cynical about Mrs. Freier and her project, what are you doing to help save these neshamos?
No one else is trying? What about Rabbi Horowitz? MASK? ALIYA (local to Crown Heights)? Neve Yaakov in E”Y? etc etc?
If Mrs Freier is sincere, she deserves a chance. But going on the Brenner show, which has hosted the likes of Friedman and Weiss of Teheran Six infamity, is not the way to start.
Also, hate to say it but she should concentrate on girls as it seems that at least as far as my list above is concerned, there is more attention paid to bochurim whereas girls can get into far more serious trouble.
anyone who has any negative thing to say about these people who care and are not shev ve’al taaseh is an annoying cliche
While I don’t know anything about this woman or what she plans to do, I can say that I am truly disturbed by what I see as extremely judgemental comments by some. You do NOT have to be a Rabbi to be mekarev a yid, what all these kids need is lots of love and understanding. Despite what you may think, they respect people who are authentic and real, who truly live, not just preach, yiddishkeit, and specifically if they see it acted out “bein adam l’chaveiro”. Yoo can preach all you want, if you don’t live yiddishkeit in how you deal with others, if you are not loving, kind and HONEST, nothing you say will matter.
We have many kids we meet from frum homes who come through our town (and Chabad House), and we give them love and acceptance, as any Jew. This is what they need from their families and the frum community–acceptance, not “throwing them away because they are not the way we think or know they should be. Is it heartbreaking? Yes. But you have to treat them the same you would want someone to treat your own child. These kids went off for a reason, and its usually rebellion against yiddishkeit, it’s usually family issues, school or seeing plain old hypocrisy or rigidity–the Aibishter loves every Jew and so do we have to
the greatest way to be mekarev someone is through ahavat yisrael, with no conditions
that applies to every Jew, not just the Rabbis
some of you need to get off your “high horses” and wake up to reality.
With ahavat yisroel,
a shlucha
We all know of kids going off the derech. What about YOU? What is your real status on yidishki ? Would you ever consider taking yigeshkiet more easy. And here abd there not following all the rules, if you could get away not having to face shame from your comummity family and friend?
Is what’s keeping you jewish your true belief of shelo osaini goy are happy by just the virture of beeibg a yid a ben melech? Are you happy and feel lucky with the torah and mitzvas? Or is your jewishnes out ofnot having the guts to change not wantint to hurt your parents family worried about losing your marrige or kids? Does keeping mitzvos learning torah, going to shul, make you stressful or gives you simchas hacaim? Are you a jew by choice or by force???
Are you joking?!!? Someone decides to make an effort to help klal yisroel and people have the CHUTZPAH to post negative comments!?!? I’m disgusted and shocked. I personally know Mrs. Freier, she is a powerhouse of a woman, and strong enough to admit that she doesn’t have much experience. But she does have many contacts and is extremely bright, something tells me if she does this, she’ll do it right. If you’d know her past accomplishments (and incredible accomplishments) you too would be so proud of her!
And to the person who wrote “you are not Rabbis”: the world is FULL of people who are not Rabbis, men and women alike who accomplished a tremendous amount in the area of both kiruv rechokim and kiruv krovim.
You dont need to be a Rabbi to reach out to a fellow Yid.
in comment #10 i by mistake left out the world NOT–it is not usually about rebellion towards yiddishkeit, it is usually one of the others.Can you please correct that? It’s the whole point of what I was trying to say.
Thank you.
To #9 : There are several organizations as well as individuals who are working hard in this field. If you will ask any of them, every single one is seriously overwhelmed. The MASK office has many thousands of files (after more than 11 years). Rabbi Horowitz and Project YES have worked with who knows how many more. Same goes for others you mentioned. There are several smaller and less known programs, and many volunteer askanim who are tireless in their efforts. Ask any of them. The matzav is overwhelming. Consider those yeshivos that open their doors to these disenfranchised youth (there are more for boys than girls). As hard as these try, the mainstream yeshivos throw talmidim out faster than these other mosdos can take them in. The therapists who work with the kids themselves are inundated with requests for appointments. And many give away their time for free, at great cost to their own parnosoh.
You’re 100% right. There are other organizations. And we have still nowhere near enough to meet the demand. On one hand, this situation indicates a crisis, that our systems of chinuch, both home and yeshiva is less effective than it should be. That global issue needs to be tackled by gedolim with input from as many sources as possible. The immediate issue is each and every child that is without a yeshiva, who turns to the dangerous outside world for something that can help ease the pain.
Instead of complaining about what is being done, what are you ready to do? Roll up your own sleeves and connect with a boy or girl (gender match please) who needs someone to guide them.
i wish Mrs Frier loads of hatzlocha in her new endeavor. from what i know about her whatever she decides to do she does well. at least she is trying.
the problem with these organizations is that their only goal is to have the otd kids become religious again… they don’t provide them with the opportunity to figure out who they are and what they want from life…. let the teenager go to public school, let them play sports and experience things that secular teenagers experience, like movies, concerts, girlfriends, prom, college, etc… then let them decide for themselves what derech to walk on.
Brocha v’Hatzlocha to Ruchy Freier. Those dealing in Outreach know well that one need not be a Rabbi, Rebbeitzen or community leader to inspire a wayward teen. A caring word, a hot dish or cold drink at the right time will open up the person to saying something which in turn allows you to offer advice, perspective and personal opinion. Last I checked, “motherly” advice required no certification, no licensing, nor formal training of any sort. Our Bubbies have a warm heart and warm advice. Kudos to them on lending a “professional” ear to some who actually might very much open up to someone reputed as an accomplished woman as opposed to a “stay-at-home” Mom type of person. Lastly, no harm can come from a genuine, sincere and warm smile.
obviously some people would rather critisize and minimize the disaster we are experiencing-denile ain,t just a river in egypt
The goal of helping kids is great, but anyone working in the sensitive field of healing Neshamos should get some guidance from Gedolei Torah. Zev Brenner is not one of our Gedolim.
#20 : You have no idea about the entire issue of OTD kids. Keep on talking through your hat. You are making no sense at all.
The aim of the organizations is not to make the kids religious. If we can help them with their pain, most of which we caused, they will reconnect with their heritage. The organizations are rather clear: Menchlichkeit first, then returning to frumkeit. Ask any of the organizations, their professionals, their staff, and their volunteers. Then when you have resolved your ignorance, please comment again. And if you have the idea that exposing them to the havlei olam hazeh is the answer, you are not only ignorant, but dangerous. Usually, we do not discover that a kid is OTD until they have strayed into the welcoming arms of these havlei olam hazeh. We will not get them back with teaching them a posuk, mishna, perek of Tanya, or mussar. We will help them by helping them regain an understanding of themselves and their feelings. And that stuff is not found in public schools, movie theaters, or in sports. What have you been drinking?
Mrs. Freier actually alluded to the issue on the show. This issue is about “kiruv kerovim”, and she is deriving some of her direction from Project Inspire of Aish Hatorah which is focused on “kiruv rechokim”. There are parallels, but the issues are quite different. But the inundating with these other elements of western society is nowhere to be found among any of those working in either form of kiruv.
By definition, the more chumrahs you have, the more OTD Jews you will have. Rabbonim have to rethink their push for more and more chumrahs, which only create more disillusioned Jews (yesterday, raspberries were kosher, today treif?).
How can we get involved & help?
To all u x chasid and all of you that strayed, you have one big mistake, and that is that u view yiddishkait as a headache. Whom are you kidding? Living a better lifestyle what’s so good about your life its as empty as it gets. Yiddishkait is a privilage not a burdan. All u off the derech you just want to live a tziloste lifestyle
Some times when articles or public addresses are done about people they usually have some exaggeration portraying the person in a blown up positive way making the person a bit ‘more’ than they are in real life. Well, I can sincerely wholeheartedly proclaim, as Ruchie Freiers proud sister, that all publicity done on her barely touches the iceberg on her real greatness and accomplishments! I have had a front seat in watching her development from the very begining and have had the privilege of her always sharing with me every step along the way. I’ve seen unbelievable Siyata Dishmaya with her and how Hashem literally holds her hand and guides her in every direction!
I have the inside information of how Ruchie does not take a step without asking Hashem to lead her in the right direction; of how she amazingly davens three times a day; of how she is always in contact with Daas Torah; of how she always helps family members in any which way possible; of how no matter what setting she was in she never compromised her morals and tznius, never tolerating inappropriateness from anyone in her firm yet humble way; of how she never misses an opportunity to daven at Kivrei Tzadikim for hatzlacha; of how in Law School she sets up Tehillim groups and does kiruv, which I’ve personally helped her with; of how she doesn’t hesitate to refuse a legal case if it is in the slightest question of Emes; of how she is the one to arrange the shiurim at her summer home; of how she always makes a Kiddush Hashem wherever she goes; of how she’ll never acknowledge a problem without doing something about it – Hence the founding of B’Derech!
Ruchie Freier is not intimidated to take action if it is the right thing to do no matter what people will say. I am the center person in the picture and I share her conviction that when you do the right thing for the right reasons the only opinion that counts is the One Aboves’! Hashem should give her koach and hatzlachah to continue till 120!!!
Chavie Friedman
To all of you knocking her. I don’t know who this Ruchie Frier is, but I can tell you this much; kids like us – [me] (“so called Off The Derech”) – don’t give damn about rabbonim or anyone that resembles one, we hardly are interested in Yiddishkeit., all they want is just return to Yiddishkeit so we (the community) don’t have to be ashamed of you. Why care what they have to say, they only mean themselves or the parent who came crying to them.
Neither are the Rabbunim interested nor are they effective – (lack of real interest in the issue as a whole or care to find out what’s bothering some of us objectivly). Finally here comes someone who can make us feel at home, someone who will take away the suspicion of “Special Interest”, someone that can get to our hearts, someone who genuinely feels our pain, – and yes BECAUSE SHE”S A WOMEN and is not connected – someone who we can trust, you guys will find why she should be stoned in public. It’s pathetic and ridiculous, kids like us hardly care for Yiddishkiet let alone Rabbonim, for some of you to suggest she consults Rabbonim is crazy.
It’s not about Education, Girl-friends, sports, movies blah blah blah or some Ex Chusid. It’s about love and acceptance that’s what’s missing and that’s what this woman is out to extend. I’d gladly listen to what she has to say and accept what she has to offer
#35 ,
I am sorry that you are going through tough times right now, you don’t deserve it.
I don’t know your story so I am a little confused as to what you are trying to say. You say it’s all about love and acceptance, do you mean to say that you didn’t feel love and accepted growing up before you went otd, or you don’t feel loved and accepted today as an otd teen?? ex-chussid
Noone should judge Ruchie. I am personally working with her in her organization and she is doing amazing things!She is keeping boys off the streets and giving them the love they so desperately need. If not for her, they would be on the lowest level possible. She deserves all the credit in the world.
does this organization have a website?
Alright guys, say whatever you want but I can tell you all one thing, the way Ruchy Freier put aside her precious time for me is probably the reason why I wear Teffilin every day. Nobody can take that away from her. So whatever the negativity is that you have on her, do us all a favor and keep it to yourself, because since I grew up, there was not a single human being in the world that had an interest in my future more than Ruchy Freier. Nobody ever did as much as Ruchy did to my and to my future. Ruchy is the greatest woman alive and will merit a humongous kingdom in heaven.
Stay strong Ruchy and continue your good deeds until 120. Klal Yisroel thanks you for what you’re doing.