Jerusalem – A 17-year-old teen boy who gave a 14-year-old girl a ring and pronounced, “You are consecrated to me through this ring in accordance with the religion of Moses and Israel” in the presence of two witnesses, was forced by the Jerusalem Regional Rabbinical Court to divorce her.
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The couple’s “mock wedding” was proclaimed valid because the two had a physical relationship and were therefore considered married by Jewish law.
After the young couple held their “wedding,” the boy’s family became concerned that if they were to break up in the future without obtaining a divorce first, they would not be able to get married again to other people.
They therefore implored their son and his girlfriend to separate legally, but the girl refused, saying she wanted to continue the relationship until she is 17, at which time they would be able to hold a formal wedding.
The boy’s relatives then offered her financial compensation, and she eventually agreed after receiving NIS 10,000 (roughly $2,500) from the parents.
The Rabbinical Courts’ Executive Council said in a statement that the couple was the youngest ever to receive a divorce in Israel. “The council hopes that following the publication of this incident, in which a foolish act between a boy and a girl has led to marriage and divorce, would stop similar cases from happening in the future.”
if this is what happens in year 2009, what will 2010 bring….
She can no longer marry a Kohen. Does she realize those implications?? Hashem Yerachem.
This world has become SICK!
This issue comes up every 20 years or so; it happened in school when I was a kid, and R’ Moshe Feinstien is reported to have come to the same conclusion.
No the world hasn’t become sick. Look into shalos uteshuvos from 400 years ago and you’ll see they had the same problems back then. Humanity hasn’t cahnged and the Torah and it’s teachings are eternal.
to #2 you are worried that she can’t ‘marry a kohen’. the fact that she is having a physical relationship at 14 might be a bigger problem with her life.
Her life is not ruined b/c she can’t marry a cohen.Her life is ruined b/c she had “a physical relationship” at 14.
Ayn Chadash Tachas Hashemesh..
the more things change, the more they stay the same.
this is nothing new their has been storys llike this in brooklyn going back to the times of reb moshe ztl
Her life is not ruined period. Hashem gave us a beautifull gift of Teshuvah! It is sad that children are trying to be adults when they are emotionally unprepared and have not matured yet. But to say that her life is ruined is a silly thing to say, she has the potential to do Teshuvah and can turn her life around 180 degrees at any time.
A few hundred years ago, people used to get married at fouteen or younger. Maybe if they did that nowadays, there wouldn’t be so many frustrated kids going off the derech. If they could talk him into having a get now, why did they think he wouldn’t give one if he needed to later?
i think the couple is lucky the parents got involved, kids go out and breakup all the time without putting too much thought or emotions into it, could you imagine if that happened here, their children would be mamzerim without ever knowing it.
actually to be technical, a physical relationship is a form of marriage (the equivilant of giving a ring), could you imagine if everyone that has a physical relationship requires a divorce… i wonder what the poskim say about that problem…
Her life is not ruined, at least she was “married” before having a physical relationship. but, did she practice taharas hamishpacha? It is good that she had a proper divorce so she will be able to get married in the future.
Why are people faulting the girl and saying she is ruined, but letting the boy (who was a little older and should have known a little better) off the hook. For the reasons stated above, neither of them are ruined, but this notion that a girl who has had sex is tainted but a guy isn’t is problematic.
Why and how is this story even in the news? Who blabbed this to the press. These families are entitled to some privacy. Although the names aren’t used, its hard to imagine the names not getting out. The rabinnical council could have made the same point differently. Who knows, this might even encourage more kids to have sex since they now know there is an easy halachic way to do it.
They seem to have done everything honestly in the open, in public. How many 13, 14, 15, 16, 17 year olds have physical relationships without telling anyone? This is an ongoing problem! Parents would rather bury their heads in the sand than know what is really happening with their children! And some parents are just too busy making money or doing ‘their own thing’ rather than take proper care of their children. How many children can confide in their parents? These questions must be asked and not poo-pooed!
This is not a joking matter. MANY co-ed Jewish camps, … yes, there are a few, have mock weddings for entertainment. They may not be any “bia” or any “physical relationship” but it does leave the girl with a “Shaila” of whether she needs a get.
Why is it anything to worry about, it is obviously silly with no kavana?
Because they usually chose a partner they like, and often fantasize that it is real. Many rabbonim feel that this fantasy counts enough as kavana to make the kidushin require a get, even without yichud!
Some of the smarter rabbonim who are mesader kedusin, and are familiar with these camps, actually ask the girl if she ever participated in a Mock Wedding, and secretly try to arrange a get. This is really tough when the girl only remembers the boy’s first name, and is not even sure what year it was…..
And,,,, often the camps are NOT cooperative in helping the rov find the boy. They are afraid that if they help and a get takes place, someone will realize that they may have a lawsuit there…. or they are not really religious (after all it is a co-ed camp) and they are not willing to help a religious rabbi who may then say something negative about their camp.
Are they Frum?
Guys… there is a good point here too.
At least by having the kidushin they had, the shaila arose and they got a get.
Far too many of our young (and not so young) men and wormen get into “physical” relationships when unmarried, with the intention of “Maybe this is Mr/Ms Right”… and often picture being married to each other.
Most poskim, including R. Mosher, ZT”L paskined that if they lived together in a Jewish neighborhood or Jewish building, or “Were together” in a bedroom with others in the house who know they had a “relationship” … they need a GET.
Can she press charges?
The shame is that the girl was surely in love with her boyfriend and wanted to stay married ! If the boy is responsible and the relationship is bashert, they will remarry in a few years and live happily and be blessed with many children. In the 1900s this was not a problem. Today everyone needs a Lexus and a million dollar home. Isn’t this why we have a shidduch crises?
People should not say things in Halacha if they are not authorized to.
To #15 , 17: The Rabbanan made a Gzeirah that anyone who is Mekadesh through Biah it is considered Beilas znus and not a kiddushin.
I find it amusing that when it comes to this topic, everyone is a “mumcha” and knows all the halochos involved. I’m not saying you people don’t, I just think it’s flat out hilarious that in THIS topic, even the average joe who isn’t the biggest talmic chochom, is an iluy in this subject.
On a serious note, think back to when you were 14 – 17. How many stupid decisions did you make?
as far s i recall, the incident from the early 1970s , there was no consumation of the marraige. there was the ring and the words and witnesses. no more than that.
reply to 18
While unfortunately what both of them did was wrong, if there wouldn’t have been a get and in the future they would have married others, his children would not have had a problem (besides for taharas hamishpocha and other issues), while her children would chas v’sholom have been mamzeirim.
I also believe that she would have needed a kosher get from him even if it was only a joke and there had not been a physical relationship.
being married at 14 is NOT the end of the world. my great grandparents got married at age 7!!!!!!!!!!!
and this incident does not RUIN her life. she just has to ba careful about marriage, that her husband is not a kohen. same as if it were a 30 year old who’s divorced. no difference!!!!!!
rivkah was three when she was married. how ridiculous can you get. I guess she must have been a very mature three. Bubbe meisas.