Los Angeles, CA – Chanting “Stop Abuse” and “Free Your Wife,” 200 people rallied on the eve of Purim in front of the Fairfax-area home of a man who refuses to grant his wife a Jewish divorce.
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Meir Kin and his wife, Lonna, who have one child, have been separated for four years, and though a civil divorce has already been granted, he has refused to appear before a recognized rabbinic court to grant her a Jewish writ of divorce, or get. Without a get, she cannot remarry and is considered an agunah, Hebrew for chained woman.
The Rabbinical Council of California (RCC) issued a seiruv, or letter of contempt, against Kin in March 2007 for refusing to appear before the beit din, a rabbinic judicial panel.
The New York-based Organization for the Resolution for Agunot (ORA) organized the rally to apply communal pressure on Kin. Because Jewish law does not allow a beit din to force a man to issue his wife a divorce, communities have historically used religious ostracization and social embarrassment to pressure recalcitrant husbands into giving in.
“We feel it is important for a community to take a stand against this kind of abuse, and say we will not tolerate it,” ORA’s assistant director Jeremy Stern said. “If someone is emotionally abusing his wife, abusing halacha and making a mockery of the rabbinic system, it will not be tolerated.”
ORA works with couples from across the religious spectrum — from fervently Orthodox to loosely traditional — to help resolve tough divorce cases, Stern said. The organization tries to facilitate conversation between the parties to help bring them to an acceptable resolution with a beit din or other mediator. If that fails, ORA uses threats of protest and then actual protests at the home or workplace of a husband who refuses to give a get, or a wife who refuses to accept one. Since it was founded in 2002, ORA has helped resolve 97 cases and still has 60 cases open — just a small percentage of the problem divorce cases out there, Stern says. Several of ORA’s cases are in Los Angeles, including an Israeli man in Tarzana who has refused his wife a get for 31 years.
ORA has been working on the Kin case for three years. The case has a long and complicated history in civil courts in New York and Los Angeles, and several rabbinic courts. Kin said a get is waiting for his wife at the beit din of Rabbi Tzvi Dov Abraham in Monsey, N.Y. But that beit din is universally reviled as extortionist, and divorces from Abraham’s beit din are not recognized by the RCC, the chief rabbinate in Israel or the Beth Din of America, Stern said.
Kin comes from a prominent Los Angeles Orthodox family — both his parents are longtime educators in the Beverly-La Brea area, and his brother, Rabbi Elyahu Kin, is a leader at the outreach organization Torah Ohr. Another brother is president of an Orthodox congregation.
The protest was held outside the parents’ home. Stern has been slowly publicizing the case for two years, sending fliers and information packets to local rabbis, hoping to avoid a rally, he said. While some rabbis showed up to the rally and publicized it among their congregants, many stayed away.
Stern said the group also works on preventative measures. It supports a 10-year-old effort to make prenuptial agreements, which make withholding or refusing a get financially painful, a standard part of Orthodox wedding ceremonies. Stern flew to Los Angeles for the rally, and spent some time in local Orthodox high schools teaching students about the need for prenups.
“We see this as way of making social change from the bottom up, so everyone does it as a matter of course,” Stern said.
Lonna, the agunah has the same problem with each ex-husband, both who live in Los Angeles. If her ex only would pay the million bucks she would go away and find a third victim…I mean husband.
This is ridiculous.women need to understand that when they get married they are basically signing a lifelong contract and cannot wake up one morning and decide they just want out. This is not an agunah. An agunah is a woman whose husband has disappeared and his whereabouts are unknown. This woman obviously did something wrong and now expects the community to come to her defence.
If there is a get why does she not take it? Just because some don’t recognise this BD.is she overly “frum” or something?
“Kin said a get is waiting for his wife at the beit din of Rabbi Tzvi Dov Abraham in Monsey, N.Y. But that beit din is universally reviled as extortionist, and divorces from Abraham’s beit din are not recognized by the RCC, the chief rabbinate in Israel or the Beth Din of America, Stern said.”
Herein lies the problem. “that beit din is universally reviled as extortionist’. Which really means “this beis din is independent and doesn’t fall in line with the feminists.
Sometimes a father of the child has rights too.”
This Lonna is still trying to get money from her first husband who remarried and moved on…….How many more victims will she get!
Why doesn’t one beit din recognize another beis din? Rabbinical politics!
Just because Lonna is a Ralbag she thinks she can throw her family name around and get the more modern beit din and ora organization to do her dirty work for her.
i can not believe the above commments. I know Lonna personaly. SHE DID NOT “wake up one morning and decide to divorce.” In fact I have a funny feeling that the above comments were posted by MEIR KIN himself!
If you knew the real story you would understand that Lonna is truly a victim, and has been begging for a get for years. Meir is withholding it. Simple as that.
Unfortunately there are many woman out there who are agunahs and are living in misery because their husbands aren’t granting them a Get. I personally know of a woman who’s shrewed husband is getting away with murder because of his charismatic tongue. (Does that sound familiar – same thing happened to a man who is now in the highest office in our govt because of it) He is blackmailing everyone who tries to get involved. He is a mussar. He claims she wants money – which she doesn’t, she doesn’t want to let him have visitation rights – which he does get – but instead of spending time with his child – the child spends all day at his neighbors because he can’t accommodate. Not all men are right – but they certainly have the power in their hands, which can be very scary.
Hashem should help all agunahs get a Get.
in 100% of cases where a prenuptial agreement was signed a get was deleivered in a timely fashion.
rabbi joe pottasnick
new york board of rabbis
WHAT about women who refuse to take Gittin from their husband. Has anyone ever demonstrated at their homes?
there is enough evil on both sides. who guarantees he will ever see his kid again?
but there is a lot of peripheral damage in LA, including the shul z”l that the family has destroyed , and the courageous rabbi who refused to back down to their threats.
what’s so hard about understabding why someone wouldn’t want to accept a get from a beis din that is not universaly accepted? Afterwards they have problems marrying a second time if some people hold the get is not valid
Did you see the get and the conditions involved? How do you know that she doesn’t have to pay a lot of money or some other crazy agreements in order to get the get? Why are you so sure that women davka dom’t accept gittin because they want to squezze out their ex’s? Did you ever think that a woman has to live and support her kids and is not an automated bank machine?
The truth is that prenuptial agreements probably would be the best thing to avoid these problems in the first place.
There is one issue which really needs to be addressed globally, that of women filing an order of protection against their husbands and/or calling the police on him. This is usually what all the haggling and wrangling about the Get is. There is one well known “rov” in Flatbush who gives Heteirim for this, but little does he realize that this is often the cause for the woman to remain without a Get for a long while. All respected Batei Din require the woman to show the need for an order of protection before allowing them to do it, whereas this “rov” does not.
Poor Lonna! My heart goes out to you! A wonderful, generous, kind person. And yes, for sure #12 writer is the ex himself – it’s a known fact he’s in cohorts with Lonna’s first abusive husband, both trying to get to her money, taking advantage of her soft heart and kindness. But Hashem knows and He’ll help you, Lonna! Chazak veYamatz!
Some women have chronic abuse syndrome. When I got married I thought I married Mrs. “Right”. I didn’t realize that her first name was “Always”. Couples have to give and take not just want and take. I’m not familiar with the specifics in this particular case but it sounds like Lonna is playing one Jewish ‘faction’ against another, i.e. ‘frum black hatters’ vs ‘modern orthodox’ and she seems to be doing it from one coast to another.
What is sad, is that people who know nothing about what’s really going on, choose to post as if they do. There is a lot of garbage on both sides.
As for calling her an agunah, this case is a detriment to those who are truly agunahs. There are many women who are willing to take a get with any conditions, yet their husbands remain cruel and refuse to give. This Kin, is not refusing to give a get, he is just using it as a negotiating tool – disgusting – but not an Agunah.
as someone who lives in Los angeles and knows both personally (lonna is a realestate broker in Monsey Ny all I can say is that thier are TWO SIDES to every story esp. hers!!!! How come non of the “heimisha ” rabbonim in LA are signed up to this only the interesting ones?????
Perhaps the rabbis should spend a little more time facing the hundreds of broken families shattered by men with hurt egos, instead of cancelling concerts. The women would like to get a get but the rabbis protect the men with very little said about the women and children who are often ready to leave Yiddishkeit because they see no compassion.
I could answer all your replies. I tried to mediate this three years ago. First of all we need to stick to the truth. The protest that took place had no more than 50 participants. Don’t take my word, call the police department. I did to verify the count. This was not a community rally. It was from one group of modern orthodox Jews that have a direct contact with ORA and YU. No other orthodox group got involved. We ask why? Now if you really follow the story and read both claims, it’s clearly simple to see the truth. Both parties had previous marriages. Kins first marriage ended without one day in court or bais din. Lana’s first marriage ended at least 10 years ago with endless court cases still ongoing (public record) I’m not judging just facts.” Extorsion” I have yet to see any proof that Kin is extorting money from his ex wife. One said $350,000 one said One million Dollars. Is it true or is it lies? Very simple, if it’s true were is the proof? As orthodox Jews it’s important not to judge without facts. It’s sad that many of us like to spread lies just to satisfy the cause, including ORA. They claim to have a seruv from a bais din in Brooklyn but what they don’t tell you is that Lanna’s cousin is one of the judges in that bais din. I would call that a “conflict of interest”. That is a fact and documented. If you go to the ORA web site it will give a list of bais dins they endorse. I don’t remember maybe 4 or 5. One of them is the RCC. You would think in the US with 100 or more bais dins they only endorse 4 or 5. Ask why? The answer is simple, if you are an orthodox observing Jew you would know that whenever you have a dispute whether business or marriage you need to adjudicate in a bais din not civil court (clear halacha). What happened in this case from my knowledge and documents I reviewed, Mr. kin was the first to request they end the marriage by going to a bais din in Monsey N.Y. I’m not sure I’m spelling the name correctly (Rabbi Gabioff) “documented” she refused and decided not to take the Jewish way but go to civil court. A seruv was issued against her.(documented). Nobody likes a seruv against them so she decided to go to a bais din in Brooklyn. We ask why in Brooklyn, when they both live in Monsey N.Y. which has at least 35 to 40 bais dins? The answer is simple (documented) by agreeing to go to the Brooklyn bais din (her cousin Ralbag) the seruv from Rabbi Gabioff was removed.
I hope all of you are following, it gets better. Then Mr. Kin gets a letter from Rabbi Ginsberg who is the head of that bais din warning him that his Rabbis are about to issue a seruv against him without merit. Then comes the RCC in Los Angeles, CA and we ask again why is a bais din in Los Angeles now getting involved (one of the five endorsed by ORA). So this is how it works. A couple decides to divorce they have kids, assets, etc. every woman knows or pitched by a friend or lawyer that you can get a better deal (custody, child support,assets) if you go to civil courts. So they decide not to go to bais din but take the civil route. They could always go to ORA to put pressure on the man and go back to bais din after they finish in civil court. This is were the problem begins, All Orthodox Rabbis that follow halacha say you can’t have it both ways (ignore the halacha and come back crying AGUNAH when you want a GET. A GET is a Jewish divorce only issued by a bais din by going to civil court the woman is saying she has no interest in going to a bais din. I read a letter from Kins bais din that said he deposited a get and cannot retract it. I never saw anywhere that it had conditions. As far as corruption we find it everywhere. In every din torah you have a winner and a loser. It’s normal for the loser to say the bais din is corrupt. ORA and a few others say that Kins bais din is corrupt because they extort money from woman. Was it one case of extortion? Is it many cases or is it lies? I saw a document that the bais din in Brooklyn ( one of five ORA endorses, and Lanna’s cousin, Ralbag who is one of the judges, extorted from a woman. In that case, Ralbag, was defending the man.
This whole computer thing is new to me, but I will work on scanning the documents I spoke of earlier for viewing the truth.
I have to admit, I was very quick to judge Meir Kin on the accusations put on him. After reading post #54 I found the response very convincing, although I am very interested to see all the documentation you say you have. Btw, I spoke to my friend who stopped by the rally and she confirmed there were only about 40-50 people there. I do find it very disturbing that ORA would say there were 200 people when there wasn’t.
Whoever these two are is irrelevent. It’s disgusting that women can’t be free of these lowlives. A pre-nup is the only way to go nowadays. As for holding out for a Get…my sister held out because her “frum” husband (whom she caught with his girlfriend!) refused to pay for Yeshiva for his kids. So all you “experts” don’t know why some women have to take a stand.
If you have nothing good to say, keep quiet.
i know meir kin very well. he is willing to do everyhing according to din torah!!ane eve as of now he is willing to go backk to din torah to solve all the matters. shame on the protesters!!!!
You want to get ALL the Rabbis to do something together? Are you dreaming? There are only a handful of Rabbis who would do what is proper and not worry about public opinion. Good luck finding a solution.
al tadin es chaverchu ad shetagia limkomoi! i am in the same shoes for many years and i believe the only way to get my “get” will be a miracle as he isnt scared of his “rebbe” or hashem! so if you arent in this situation please keep your nasty comments to yourself!