London – In a blockbuster Interview with Zev Brenner on Talkline this past Motzei Shabbos, Rabbi Osher Shapiro explained how the internet is not the reason for the ever growing problem of at risk teens that plagues society. Rabbi Shapiro, who lives in Stamford Hill London, is the son of the Naroler Rebbe Rabbi Berish Shapiro Shlita, in addition to being a well known mechanech and founder of Kol Bonayich, a United Kingdom based outreach organization.
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In fact, Rabbi Shapiro placed the blame for the younger generation’s fascination with the internet squarely on the shoulders of those who issued internet bans and said that the act of banning something such as the internet or a concert only increases its appeal. According to Rabbi Shapiro the internet, like the telephone, the radio or the cell phone, is an instrument that was, at first, met with great trepidation by many in the Jewish community, but when used properly can become an integral and appropriate part of our lives.
Listen to the full interview here. the interview starts at min. 15:15
They say that the Chofetz Chaim was upset when the telephone was shown to him, because of its potential to spread loshon horah. And of course he was correct, but somehow we’ve come to live with it, and apply the same diligence at not speaking loshon horah over the phone just as we do when speaking in person. Instead of banning the internet and having people disobey the ban willy-nilly, perhaps it might be better to create a mindset of “the internet is kosher only with a filter”, like keilim can be used only if you tovel them, etc.
I have a hard time believing that the sole fascination with the internet is the banning of it. A Righteous cause is not an excuse for moronic statements.
Nice ! Thank you Rabbi Shapiro for having the courage to speak the truth!
I don’t know who this Rabbi Shapiro is but I agree with what he says.
I’ve argued for the longest time that the problem with today’s teens is that they’re not happy with themselves and feeling that their missing something and don’t know what. This leads them to examine different acts and ways of life.
We need to build confidence in our children and make them strong enough to be able to stay firm with their beliefs.
Emes gezokt
Maybe he should speak at the next Aguda convention !!
We have to stop looking for a scapegoat for our problems. We as parents need to be more active in our childrens lives. We have to realize that not all our children are cut out to learn all day. Where r the yeshivas that teach our children that it is ok to go to college or have a respectful job – that some1 who earns a parnosa to support his family and makes time to learn and daven everyday is a good jew? Enough with the bans !! The concerts, water, wigs, weddings, books etc.. If there are any leaders in our communities let them stand up and find real solutions.
I personally know HaRav Schapiro as a wonderful and very effective Mechanech. I sent him 4 teens that were nebach at risk. Who after Harav Schapiro strong intervention and guidance are know leading beautiful frum ehrliche homes.
I can guarantee you 100% there are many “brand-name” Gedolim who would say the exact same thing, if not for the fear of being marginalized by so-called “kanoyim”.
Well, on this one the guy is wrong, of course you can’t flat out ban the internet, but I will totally understand if its banned let’s say from residential houses.
The truth is, VIN news has readers from the whole spectrem of judiasm so whatever I will argue, there will always be people dissagreeing, but one thing is clear, the internet is the culprit of problems in our chinuch system, just ask any person who is involved in chinuch, most “gitin” in the frum community’s had something to do with the internet, either at the beggining or at the end, thus making the marriage insolvent.
Its funny how people say they need it at home for business, without thinking for a minute that its not worth all the money in the world, the problem that arises from internet.
I have had several situations since I’m married that I had to get internet, it did not even cross my mind to bring it in to the house, I’d rather have it a block away from my house and pay for a office then have it in my house.
The truth is, the problem is not the internet, its computers in residential houses, once the computer is there, a teen could connect to the internet without the parent knowing, through mobile phones or Dial up.
Someone who has a computer at home will C”V if something happens not be able to say “yudeiny loy shofchi es hadam hazah”
I am mommish writing this note with tears in my eyes and tefillos that Rav Shapiro should succeed in whatever he does.
He saved my son and our entire family. We were devestated by my sons condition and the effect he had on my other 8 children. Until someone connected us to Rav Usher Shlita. May Hashem help him with the best.
I agree with you Rabbi, but with the point when you argued with the noted askan Mrs. Freier about English studies in the chadorim, perhaps you dont live here in the USA, and just to answer “Amunah” “Betuchin” was not the way we were taught. Why not abolish english all the way? If we do have it, then why not until 12th grade with a GED or diploma? When you mentioned Bobov, yes, I am a bobover talmud, went until 7th grade, how fortunate I am. I worked with some other BP yungerleit for a few years in an office, they couldnt write one sentence without mistakes, and had a big negative affect overall.
The reason why Bobov stopped english 8-12 grade because of the low attendence, in part because these bochorim were looked down at, what a shame. Now that I am in biz for 8 years, how foolish were we, so much time went to waste in Mesivta we could have gotten a GED/BA and at least have time with family at age 20-30 not starting college then…. 90% of working yungerlait will agree with me on this.
Davening in the same Beis Medrash as Rabbi Shapiro I know him very well and have alot of admiration for him. May Hashem give him all the koach he needs to continue his great work.
R’ Usher is so innovative and so correct. He is amazing. He had shimush from the greatest experts in this field.
He saves one child at a time. He is a mumcha.
The Maaleh and value to R’ Usher is that he does NOT live in “the box”. He is a thinker and does not live in denial and does not fear reprisals from Rabbonim.
He would never be allowed to speak at an Agudah convention because then all the other 15 speakers won’t have what to say.
The simplest thing for a Rov or dayan to do is condem and further condem. They do not have to excuse themselves. Its easy and painless. If they are matir and say it is permissable they are considered as not frum.
Rabbi Shapiro is one of the choshiver Bnai Torah and ehrliche in London. His opinion is frequently sought by Rabbonim who have difficulty within their community.
I know first hand, that any person who approached Rebbetzin Kanievsky A”H, regarding at risk chinuch issues, she handed them Rav Shapiros private cell number.
of course the internet isn’t the problem – the problem is an educational system that doesn’t teach critical thinking but rather promotes blind acceptance of everything the Rebbe says… (you know he’s not the pope, right) If our kids were given the skills to think through and analyze they wouldn’t be so overwhelmed when they are confronted with well thought out arguments from the other side or when they are placed in unfamiliar situations…
We are so happy that he finally openly discussed his opinion
After hearing from the biggest Gedolay Yisroel the same language, it is nice that now someone without fear tells us the TRUTH.
Whatever happened to taking responsibility of your children on yourselves? Instead of banning something (which is the immediate easy way out, but will leave you with a child who goes off the derech in the long run), how about actually Communicating with your child and actually Teaching him/her what is good and what is bad or what is right and what is wrong?
All the banning does is make people want to know more about what is banned. And when they do it when it is banned, they’ll only get the information the wrong and bad way.
Kol Hakavod, Rabbi Shapiro, for not being afraid to tell it like it is.
I know his son Yakov well and he is one of the greatest baalei chesed you could find. I wish he moves to Lakewood. It would be a great asset to our community. B’emes he should probably run for some political office where he could do alot of good for the community.
I would nominate Rav Shapiro to the Moatzei Gedolei Hatorah.
Those that do not daven at Narol or never met any of the Heilige Mishpacha are missing a lot. The name Reb Shapiro since WW2 has signified a correct approach to Yidishkeit without strangling the younger generation. It might be possible that Reb Usher’s kids know how to use a computer?
I heard the interview live and I want to commend Rabbi Shapira for taking care of these precious neshamas. I work with TAR (teens at risk) and have to respectably disagree with his notion that BANS are in essence free advertisement. There is a new breed of TAR – the internet/Facebook breed and it is a plague that has never been seen before. Traditional methods of dealing with TAR are close to obsolete. I have yet to see a working method. To parents that have TAR I wish you all Siyate Dishmaye and strength to get through. Love your children unconditionally even when it seems impossible and even if you feel like your being manipulated – give LOVE. They will give you nachas – one day.
Thank you Rabbi Schapiro for speaking the truth. We have to arm our children with confidence that they can be true Oveid hashem.
1). Being frum means davening, keeping shabbos, and not engaging in deviant behavior. Frumkeit trancends labels we try to give ourselves to comfort ourselves that others will judge us favorably.
2) Parents: be true to yourself and your children..if they are not in the proper setting take them out! Stop living for others.
3) Arm your children with the necessary resources so they can gain independence and make decisions that are guided from Emes.
There’s more but I won’t bore you.
If a collective change is not made by all, litvish or chassidishe, we will feel the ramifications from the generation that comes from the present kids “at risk” population who will choose to raise their children in our frum communities.
I think that the biggest problem of the internet is the bitul zman. shmutz can be avoided.
I couldn’t agree w\this Rabbi more!
Look…. the internet was the only way that Noahides like us were EVER able to leave the Avodah Zara of Christianity! Period!
I have probably listened to hundreds & hundreds of lectures from wonderful Rabbis (maybe even thousands- I’ve never counted- lol), who brought me & my husband out of the nonsense we were stuck in & had been raised in.
We live in a place where the nearest orthodox shul is 3 hours away! How would we have ever learned what it means to serve the ONE TRUE G-D (and not a “son” of His, c’v’), had it not been for Rabbi Mizrachi & so many others who showed us the way?!?!
Where were we supposed to learn this stuff w\out a support system of friendly Jews helping us along the way on our search?!
I just cannot express enough how vital the internet is to the secular & younger crowds as well, who may never want to come to a lecture… but who might listen to one on the internet at least!
I KNOW there’s perversion on the internet! Like television, radio & everything else… things like this can be corrupted & often are!
But there is so much good being done… you cannot throw the baby out w\the bathwater!
Please!
Blaming Internet use on Internet bans is a little simplistic, it would be just as appealing without the bans, the bigger issue is the asinine belief that bans will actually have any effect. Face it – your kids are already online, and you are better off knowing it than denying it. Yes, I said it, your kids have already been online – many have Facebook accounts that you don’t know about, most have multiple free email addresses including ones you’ll never know about, they have visited sited you don’t know exist both intentionally and otherwise. Denial helps nothing and no one. The Internet is a tool, albeit a very powerful one, and like any tool it has to be used safely. Trying to pretend that it does not exist is as pathetic a response as trying to ban it. The better, and SAFER, option is to use it WITH your kids, show them the right way to use it, just as you would other tools like drills and cars and bicycles.
I am glad that Rabbi Shapiro understands that banning does not work. However, I am unhappy with his “emunah” position. Our children need a secular education and time must be devoted in the school day to this end. Thank you Ruchy Freier for speaking out on this issue.
TO QUOTE RABBI DR. ABRAHAM TWERSKI, who said to me in a media interview some years ago: “Most of our communal ills can be traced to a common root – one that I call SDS – Spiritual Deficiency Syndrome. What a Jew is spiritual healthy, knowing who and what he/she is, all manner of sickness and temptation are diminished. Conversely, when a Jew is spiritually weak, devoid of an authentic sense of self, there is no defense. Genuine self-esteem is a profound antidote against many modern distractions.” Rabbi Twerski has been an addictions specialist for over 50 years and has authored over 50 books, many on the subject above.
Those who make new Bans every monday and thursday, are causing rather than curing the problem simply because they live in denial, not realizing that their Bans simply don’t work.
Since all broad Bans are simply and realistically ineffective, thearfore all “the ban makers” have wasted all their time and energy on methods which can’t possibly ever work ever, most of the time for most people.
The genie is out of the bottle and there is no way to ban it or stop it.
Instead of of using effective methods, had they used their brains and had they lived in reality, instead, they are living in “ban” fantasy world.
Had they embarked instead on methods which actually work effectively, in the world of reality, such as the advice given by the likes of Rabbi Osher Shapiro and the likes of Rabbi Twersky, it would work.
Bans simply don’t work and can’t possibly work for the vast majority, except for select few and so putting all your eggs in one basket which is a Gzera Shein Rov Hatzibur Yachol Laamod Boy, is not only ineffective but outright stupid and they are living in denial of reality, failing to realize that their methods of bans will never ever work for the majority of Klal Yisroel
The best solution is to ban the bans, and anyone who signs one.
I am not frum but come from a frum background. I work in the Department of Education with many Yeshivas to provide services to children who need academic assistance. I must admit, I am no longer shocked at the Yeshivas’ inability to think outside the box. The expectations presented to the boys is that learning English is not important. I have never seen so many illiterate young boys headed for a future of nothing, but sitting and learning. Don’t worry about the internet because these young boys can’t read.
They know nothing about life outside their community, nothing about making a living and worse, disrespectful toward people who are not from their community ( I wonder where they learn that?).Of course, God forbid, when one of these boys falls outside the box and cannot sit still, has a hearing loss, ADHD, can’t read Yiddish well, or worse, cannot learn the way they are expected to, they are pressured by their parents, stigmatized by their peers and embarrassed by their Rabbis. This is not learning.
Before you start blaming the internet, take an inventory of what goes on in your schools and your home and what it tells your children.
of course internet is not the problem its like saying ban all knifes coz u can kill urself with it… the job of good parents is to teach their kids that a knife is dangerous and u have to know how to use it. no one disagrees that the internet is bad but to say ban the internet in all problems will be solved is the biggest nonsense i ever heard coz with todays technology its literally impossible to avoid using it and if ur not prepared how to use it u WILL use it in the wrong way.
the other problem is, i heard from so many “so called” mechanchim that the problem is our kids are unsatisfied so they look for it the wrong way. so my question is why don’t they look into the reason why our kids are unhappy with their lifes? why do they have to seek satisfaction if our way of living is the best way? i wonna see one of our big rabunim stand up and say enough with the denial lets start educating our kids that the torah way doesnt mean no to everything but instead start showing them the good part of leading a torah life and properly prepare our kids how to be a good jew when going out in the big world to do business, lets face it max 5% stay in kolel the rest 95% are left with no education
Kol Hakavod…
Spot on on everything. Having worked myself with teens in crisis (or as Osher calls it ‘in pain’) what he is saying is 100% and he says it with experience and not assumptions or theories.
Whilst the internet is damaging and can be most harmful, kids have to be trained how to use it and families need to have ‘safe surfing’ as it has and will be a vital part of our lives. Its when its forbidden explicilty that kids will turn to as a first point of call when going ‘off’ and in those cases their exposure will be long term damaging. But as Osher says the source of problems is not teh Internet. One has to understand why he has turned to the Internet – many years ago that kid would have turned to Communism or similar to escape.
It takes guts to come out and say the truth on radio and I do not in any way put down letters from Gedolim who write againts it, for they are the giants who can see what we cant. so Internet aside the main thing is ‘Ahavo Rabba’
Keep up your Avoidas Hashem
Yedidcho
Ari
With all my respect for Reb Osher whom I know personally.There is no doubt that the internet is a most powerful and dangerous tool and just as when my 6 year old will pick up my plugged in hammer drill I will snatch it from his hand before he harms himself so will I ensure that my children have no access to the web at whatever personal incovenience that will cause me, because I cannot take the risk of them harming themselves.
Whoever tries to brush aside the terrible risks involved in the Web by quoting that we have to control our teivos etc. is either being atrociously naive or trying to cover up their guilt feelings for their personal behaviour. Every serious forum in whichever religion or sect in the world including internet suppliers themselves are outspokenly aware of the dangers and shortfalls of internet exposure and are all looking for solutions to protect their children and Spouses!! from excessive exposure.
Am Yisroel Kedoshim do not need to be the first to expose their children’s pure Yiddishe Neshomos. Obviously every rule has exceptions and some children may need discretionary access due to their circumstances but by no means may we scorn the view of Gedolei Yisroel.