New York – The first shock came when Mordechai Jungreis learned that his mentally disabled teenage son was being molested in a Jewish ritual bathhouse in Brooklyn. The second came after Mr. Jungreis complained, and the man accused of the abuse was arrested.
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Old friends started walking stonily past him and his family on the streets of Williamsburg. Their landlord kicked them out of their apartment. Anonymous messages filled their answering machine, cursing Mr. Jungreis for turning in a fellow Jew. And, he said, the mother of a child in a wheelchair confronted Mr. Jungreis’s mother-in-law, saying the same man had molested her son, and she “did not report this crime, so why did your son-in-law have to?”
By cooperating with the police, and speaking out about his son’s abuse, Mr. Jungreis, 38, found himself at the painful forefront of an issue roiling his insular Hasidic community. There have been glimmers of change as a small number of ultra-Orthodox Jews, taking on longstanding religious and cultural norms, have begun to report child sexual abuse accusations against members of their own communities. But those who come forward often encounter intense intimidation from their neighbors and from rabbinical authorities, aimed at pressuring them to drop their cases.
Abuse victims and their families have been expelled from religious schools and synagogues, shunned by fellow ultra-Orthodox Jews and targeted for harassment intended to destroy their businesses. Some victims’ families have been offered money, ostensibly to help pay for therapy for the victims, but also to stop pursuing charges, victims and victims’ advocates said.
“Try living for one day with all the pain I am living with,” Mr. Jungreis, spent and distraught, said recently outside his new apartment on Williamsburg’s outskirts. “Did anybody in the Hasidic community in these two years, in Borough Park, in Flatbush, ever come up and look my son in the eye and tell him a good word? Did anybody take the courage to show him mercy in the street?”
A few blocks away, Pearl Engelman, a 64-year-old great-grandmother, said her community had failed her too. In 2008, her son, Joel, told rabbinical authorities that he had been repeatedly groped as a child by a school official at the United Talmudical Academy in Williamsburg. The school briefly removed the official but denied the accusation. And when Joel turned 23, too old to file charges under the state’s statute of limitations, they returned the man to teaching.
“There is no nice way of saying it,” Mrs. Engelman said. “Our community protects molesters. Other than that, we are wonderful.”
The New York City area is home to an estimated 250,000 ultra-Orthodox Jews — the largest such community outside of Israel, and one that is growing rapidly because of its high birthrate. The community is concentrated in Brooklyn, where many of the ultra-Orthodox are Hasidim, followers of a fervent spiritual movement that began in 18th-century Europe and applies Jewish law to every aspect of life.
Their communities, headed by dynastic leaders called rebbes, strive to preserve their centuries-old customs by resisting the contaminating influences of the outside world. While some ultra-Orthodox rabbis now argue that a child molester should be reported to the police, others strictly adhere to an ancient prohibition against mesirah, the turning in of a Jew to non-Jewish authorities, and consider publicly airing allegations against fellow Jews to be chillul Hashem, a desecration of God’s name.
There are more mundane factors, too. Some ultra-Orthodox Jews want to keep abuse allegations quiet to protect the reputation of the community, and the family of the accused. And rabbinical authorities, eager to maintain control, worry that inviting outside scrutiny could erode their power, said Samuel Heilman, a professor of Jewish studies at Queens College.
FINALLY!!! Someone calling a spade a spade, or actually a “molester” a “molester”.
Why is it that they feel stealing and lying is OK but Mesirah isnt.
NO WONDER so many kids say fair well to our community, the hypocrasy screams “AD LEV HASHOMAYIM”> Happy Lag B’omer.
I’m interested in following the likely blame game in deciding who is responsible for this enormous chillul hashem (ironically the blame will likely be placed on the victims who spoke to the times)
Drinking game anyone for the expected vitriol in the comments below?
Why are they talking to the jew hating press? There is no logical reason to do so. Z’chusim are NOT being attained by this.
Just read the whole article. It is accurate and truthful. What I am a bit skeptical about though is the stating that child molestation rates in the Frum community are the same as in the general velt. Emotionally, I find this hard believe, but it may be true, chas veshalom. Either way, we know these things exist, adn we know that they are covered up. And let’s face it, folks, this is a Chareidi, Chasiddish issue almost exclusively, as far as the cover up aspect. I doubt you would see this kind of cover up in Teaneck or the like.
If someone molested one of my children, I don’t think I would report it. However, I guarantee that justice will be served. Mrs. Remington and I will take care of the issue.
If the community fails to do something about it, and I can’t go to the authorities, well, I’ll just have to take care of it myself. Then, when I go to jail, I will have a minyan and shiurim to go to along with all the other “good” Jews who did nothing wrong (like steal and cheat). I guess that is ok, but protecting our chilldren is not?
These idiots dont wanna turn molestors in out of fear of making a chilul Hashem……But this is better huh? Idiots!!!
They should be making a big Asifa about molestation, how to prevent it and stop it from happening instead of the geshrey over teh eebil Internet. If molesters could watch CGI porn on the Internet maybe they wouldn’t be tempted to harm real actual children!
Kol Hakavod to those who report abuse. They are saving the live of a future victim. Shame on the community for not supporting those who were abused and those who report the abuser. Those who show compassion to evil bring evil on the compassionate.
Those who protect molesters are almost as bad as the perverts. When a community is too closed like in Williamsburg the victim becomes the criminal. What a chilul Hashem!
It is primitive and dangerous thinking to think that a few criminals could destroy the whole communities reputation. What will it take for these fools to wake up?
Apparently, we don’t mind molesters as long as they don’t have internet.
How can this be true – the boys dress with tznius yet they are the abused? Impossible – ust be the women’s fault, or the internet, or the newspaper, or the MO’s, or the Tzionim ….
(Good comment from NYT site)
Carolyn EgeliValley Lee, Md.
Where ever essentially “boy clubs” of strict religousity exists, you find this predatory behavior. You also find it in any place where people and children especially, are in a vulnerable position to what they believe are authority figures. Boy scouts, camps, religious youth groups, choirs etc, etc, are laden with them. There are many good people in these programs, but the record should demonstrate to parents to be on the look out for these sick people.
Unfortunately, it is not just in these groups that harbor these types. It is the power over mentality of such individuals, that confuse power with sex that we need to watch out for.
These types have learned to hide themselves in the folds of beneficent organizations and in the raw power of intimidation if the first isn’t available. Authority masks as righteousness, and the abuses often go unchecked. It isn’t limited to the Orthodox Jews. There is plenty of hypocracy to go around.
Real molestors should be jailed but too often innocent people are accused and imprisoned. It is an olam hafuch where monsters like the one who touched this jungreis’s boy goes free and Rabbi Weingarten who is innocent sits in prison because he fought against Neturei Karta they made a blood libel against him.
I’m sure the Baal Shem would be oh so proud. Rabbi Akiva too, no doubt.
Mordechai Jungreis is a courageous man and a wonderful father. It takes a lot of guts to do what he is doing. May he and his family be treated with the respect that they deserve.
this is a sad sad situation but apparently been going on since the beginning of time and in the Orthodox community as well. So now that it is coming out, what is so bad. If you cover up and cover up eventually it comes out, so now it is coming out, let’s deal properly with it, the shame, the mental and emotional damage, let’s deal with it. It is still our baby, we have to love children even though they have been abused and prevent or punish those who abuse if we can’t prevent it first. We are supposed to be on a higher level than gentiles, therefore our system MUST find a way to deal with this issue as gentiles deal with in their own way, maybe not as we would but at least they address it. We need to find a way to address this in our own unique Jewish way OR, if we can’t then we need to allow the government to do what it has to do to protect us and our children. Covering up has to stop.
Why are our so called leaders so blind? Can’t they see that the silent majority is seething? Every child that is molested — and there are hundreds over the years — affects thousands of people , parents, grand parents, relatives, close friends etc. who grieve when such a child goes OTD or becomes suicidal.
This rage has reached epidemic proportions yet the leadership, is covering up, protecting their institutions, shuls, etc. to the detriment of klall yisroel.
I never understood or cared (and still don’t) how the mighty worlwide Catholic Church has been destroyed by this scandal. Couldn’t they see this coming? Now I understand. Tsunami warning.
As I’ve commented in the past, the issue has been muddled by emotion.
There is no Rav who has any credibility that will differentiate in public or private. A person who has committed sexual abuse on a child must be handed over to the law. He must be removed from places where he can prey on children again. It may even be a mitzva l’farsem – to warn the general public. This is the commandment we read recently – Lo Saamod Al Dam Ray’eh’cha.
This is undisputed.
Where things get confusing for those that are emotionally based is when they equate an accusation with rock solid proof. Before it has been determined to be fact. Do we accept the word of the child? To what extent do we need to be concerned with the family and children of the falsely accused? Can a layman warn the public based on his certainty even if a bais din may not have the authority to make a definitive conclusion? As a parent, even if I don’t believe an accusation for religious purposes, aren’t I still allowed to be worried for my child or my friends child and demand that the person be removed until the charges are proven otherwise? What is the Torah perspective on mesirah in these situations?
Cont.
How do we apply dina d’malchusa? Or any other halachic concept?
It seems that those who have proper guidance, who truly trust in their leaders after having forged and formed a true relationship over time, always have a better sense of well-being, in knowing they are acting in accordance with His Will, despite the pain and anguish over the circumstances.
Without living within the Torah perspective the anguish, the horror never ends.
Diracheha Darchai Noam.
Supreme Court Justice (and Jew) Louis Brandeis said “Sunlight is the best disinfectant”
Probably the first time that I agreed with the times in my whole life I just don’t understand why they didn’t hit DA Hynes he’s the center of this pit.
They colored all our communities with the same brush and its pretty in-accurate as its an exception to the rule. Agudah’s position is taken out of context in this article as well. Fact is that Molestation in general has always been a tabboo and undereported crime and this has not much to do with the “extremist jews” but the general privacy issues involving minors and the heitancy to point fingers at people in authority positions like priests, sports coaches, teachers and yes unfortunaely Rabbis too.
I must say that jungreis going public or anyone is there choice. But the problem with sexual abusers is that its all she say he say and if there is no proof hard to have a case. And actually it has been found that people are looking for blame so they come and say they were molested and it was never true. Things have to be proven for people to start believing if it did or did not happen. We are not supposed to protect the molesters but yes we need more proof. And to me it almost is like a style to just say I was abused for there to be a reason for there misbehavior! And let me also say that molestation is all over and I agree with #13 the comment that was posted it so true!
There is little in this article that isn’t already well known other than a few names and details.
The only thing new is that it was printed on the front page of the NY Times.
In all fairness, the NY Times should now print an article on the positive in Satmar such as the bikur cholim organizations.
I personally know of eleven kinder who have been abused and hopefully after reading this article, the parents will go immediately to the police, but I highly doubt it because the parents are more concerned with image than protecting their precious tots.
A big part of the problem is that its not talked about at home, in schools, cheiderim… AWARENESS is key! once this issue is being discussed and a dialogue is started on this topic, victims will come forward to there parents much faster. a part of the problem is that the kids are not well educated and they don`t say anything if something occurs. as a parent it is our obligation to explain to our kids the issue at hand!! and stop pushing it under the rug!! and i would also add that instead of the “askanim” making asifas on the internet… they should focus on making asifas and awareness on this matter.
We ought to tar and feather these molesters in Citifield or any other public place and make them walk all the way home!! Let the kids who they did it to — do the tarring!! It might even help them recover!! To a degree. They will at last know, that somebody is being PUNISHED!!
How is this any different then the Arab honor killings, who kill their very own daughters if they were raped. So primitive and sad!!
What a shame that this article had to be published. The “leaders” were given ample warnings by the victims and their families who cried out for help.
thank goodness people are coming out and reporting the abusers. living in a bubble is dangerous. i remember when people started discussing drugs and alcohol abuse as well. before that everyone tried to sweep it under the rug until someone dies from it G-d forbid.
We are far from perfect and jsut like every other group we have good and bad and sick amongst us. It is our responsibility to keep our children safe and educated as well. Not to hide when something has been done that was wrong.
From the sidelines, I sense more foolishness than goes on in a comedy club. No one believes that mesirah is insignificant. No one truly believes that our community, in its insularity, is capable of prosecuting a molester and exacting consequences that are appropriate. There is a reality that is newer than the complaints about past coverups. It only requires a reason to hate, and the ability to destroy someone is easy. Just create an allegation about molestation. It does not matter what is found on evaluations, and the court (or beis din) proceedings and ruling (psak) are irrelevant. The defendant will forever carry the label as someone who was accused. Reputation is murdered even though it was verified to be false. We cannot create a system that does this. Anyone accused of this crime deserves the same rights as one accused of any other crime. Take all safety measures needed – no one should be at risk, even on a doubt. But the current system convicts without any due process, and this is not okay, neither in secular law, nor in halacha.
As far as the idea of an abuse asifa – go plan one. Leave this one alone. the topic and agenda are already done.
There is a real issue with determining guilt on the basis of an allegation, especially a child’s. This is one major problem in taking action against molesters.
Saying that people are just callous and wicked is immature, in my opinion.
I know that the worst low life criminal in prison cannot tolerate a fellow inmate who is a child molestor. I wonder, how is it, that our rabbonim have no problem with this crime and refuse to do what must be done to protect our children.
This Bubby will personally run, not walk, to the police & blast it everywhere if anyone, ever, touches my eineklach. And if G-d forbid a million times a family member of mine committed such a terrible crime I would have no choice but to turn him in. That would also kill me. Children have to be protected and it’s up to us as adults to do what we have to to guard their innocence.
Poor Joel Englander. I think of him often, he is the poster boy for Frum abused kids spiralling into another world. I pray he finds menuchas hanefesh very soon.
(Reply to #73 ): Would you accept the confession of a child rapist/killer as evidence? Google the name “Michael Briere.” In 2003, he kidnapped ten year old Holly Jones in Toronto. He sexually assaulted her, killed her, and dismembered her body. Briere pleaded guilty to the crime, which he then described as “cruel, inhuman, and nightmarish,” claiming he wished to spare his victim’s family the pain of a trial. He received an automatic life sentence and will not be eligible to apply for parole for 25 years.
In court, he attributed his actions to viewing child pornography, a claim which resulted in considerable public debate about pornography in Canada.
Briere said he was sitting in his home viewing child pornography, when he suddenly felt the urge to “act on what he was viewing.” By his own account, the hideous crime he committed was spurred by his increasing and insatiable appetite for viewing child porn. Unfortunately, Holly was walking by his home when he felt the impulse to rape a child. He literally grabbed her off the street. Shabbos will be the nine year anniversary of her violent death.
unfortanly living in this heimish community, if god forbid this would happen to a family member of mine, i would not report, due to the reprecussion, its so sad, and I admire all the parents that do report, but i wouldnt have the courage to withstand the alianation that comes with it. I support you 100% mr. youngreis but you werent born yesterday you knew you would be bashed. how sad for you and your family.
How many children are going to suffer because we still have people who think its a shander to go to police.Chas vesholom until it willtouch their family thell scream mesira.The Rabonim including the Aguda s Israel policy of first asking Rabonim who will say lets try and change the molester before going to police is total absurdity. A MOLESTER CAN NOT BE CURED its a fact.A molester will not stop untill hes behind bars he has it to deep in his being to stop.We had a convicted molester in Chicago who turned baal teshuva as a front. He was voluntering to drive boys to the mikva and was until he was found out. Still we had Rabonim befreinding him in the C——- Kolel and inviting him home shabos . It took years of a geshrei and financial pressure to get the scoundral out of the community.Some Rabonim are guta neshomos type unfortunatley its misguided.YOU CANT TAKE STRIPES OFF A ZEBRA WITH PAINT REMOVER AND YOU CANT CHANGE OR TRUST A CHILD MOLESTER>
Until the rabbonim STOP protecting the sex offenders, nothing will change. We are empowering these “leaders” to ruin lives of innocent Yidden, by allowing them to honor these rapists with aliyas, kavod, and saying nothing when the rabbonim throw out of the shul NOT the rapists but the mentch who reports them. This my friends is NOT Yiddeshkeit!
Dear Rabbi Jungreis and all those who have suffered unspeakable abuse:
I am so sorry for all the pain you have had to endure- physically, emotionally and so much more. I am sorry that the community, friends and Rabbi’s you trusted turned their backs on you and pourd salt on your open wounds.
at the end of the artice- you ask has anyone said a nice word? and i know that the answer is no. unfortunately our community has a lot of tshuva to do and a lon way to go. focus on music bans and other important stuff does not come close to the issue of molestation- when oh when will they say ENOUGH!!! i am here – although i am a nobody- to tell you a good word.
You are very special for coming out.
dont ever let the abuse of the community ever doubt
that what you are doing is a noble thing
saving even ONE more innocent child from suffering!!
when one is unfortunately sexually abused
their spark of life they instantly lose
the scars and the burns forever remain
etched deep in their hearts and always on their brain
this world we live in is “sheker hachein”
don’t ever give up talking- IT IS NOT YOU WHO SHOULD FEEL SHAME!!
Mi she”amar dai- amar dai l’tzarosai!!!!
cont.
we cry and we daven- mashiach we want
so we do we let murderes continue their hunt
they prey on weak innocent children so pure
and ruin their life and their families and more
when will our leaders wake up and see the will of HASHEM?
does HE really want us to protect the murderer pedophiles- and them defend?
HaShem is a baal rachamim and surely there is no way
that we should have misplaced compassion on a RASHA – he wold NEVER say!
the victim is the child who has been hurt so deeply- its so clear
why do we defend those who hurt and allow them to stay near?
is it only when it happens to yenem
that we say “oh he is a moiser, he will burn in gehinnom?”
what will you do
if it happens to you?
if your child is the one who was abused
surely then, you will say there must be a change
we must fix this system we can not allow for others to cause such pain
How many children will it take to see
that by protecting the pedophile-we are part of this sin and travesty.
when society does not protect our precious children
are we not like pharoh who had then in bricks built in
just keep them quite- silence their voice
our community is too great to hear such ugly noise
cont.
molesters? pedohiles? abusers? in our midst?
there is no way that it is possible that they do exsist
we are so holy, we learn and we pray
we do mitzvos with each hiddur every single day
my message to you Rabbi Jungries- is this-
do not give up fighting for your rights as HaShems- yiddish kind!
HaShem loves you and your son
and the hundreds of tortured victims- he loves each and every one
this word is filled with sheker- “sheker HaChein”
but in HaShem’s world – only the EMES- truth remains
carry on like pinchas and so many of our leaders
who fought for the things that they believed in
your day will come- when you will be healed
in olam hames- all will be revealed
thousands of neshamos will come marching thru
all of them will come to running directly to you
thank you for standing up for our spilled blood
you have no idea how much naches you gave to HaShem up above
the stronger the resistance down below in the world
the greater your cause is to push and prevail
this blodshed must stop
and the facade must be dropped
children, neshamos and doires are being left to rot.
must we wait till olam haemes to know the truth
what the HaShem and the Torah wants us to do?!! chazak chazak!
sorry for some grammatical mistakes…and spelling…i was writing quickly…also- i meant that the neshamos will greet you after 120 and thank you for defendin their blood. chazak chazak v’mischazeik!!! you are amongst good company – like Dovid Hamelech who had a difficult life and Shlomo hamelech as he ran the streets screaming “ani shlomo”….athough i did not suffer this kind of abuse baruch HaShmem. May we never know of such pain!!! all of klal yisrael! but my family has been the target of a major frum hate campaign…we had eggs thrown…i a female was beaten twice… schools were called…. shidduchim were stopped…all the works…..i feel your pain of being shunned but i remmind myself that it is us that are the holy ones. i daven and cry rivers of tears to HaShem and i know he hears…..yeish din v’yeish dayin….der velt is nisht hefker in der himmel is nisht kain boidem….we may not see justice in this word but HaShem is EMES and ou are doing the right thing!!!! please dont let them silence you !!!! have a great shabbos!!!