NEW YORK (VINnews) — The “Adopt a Shadchan” initiative announced a new project called the “Nix the Pix Initiative”, in memory of or in the merit of the victims of the Meron tragedy.
Join our WhatsApp groupSubscribe to our Daily Roundup Email
Nix The Pix is an initiative by which shadchanim commit to not send, for 30 days, any shidduch resumes that include pictures of the prospects. So far they say over 220 shadchanim have joined the initiative.
The idea behind the initiative is that part of the shidduch crisis can be ascribed to “The Picture” with many wonderful boys and girls not meeting “because of the misconception that a picture can cause,” since “not every picture clearly or accurately depicts a person” and in many cases the person is not photogenic or his/her personality is not accurately reflected in the photograph.
The shadchanim stress how they yearn to present the shidduchim “in real life” and not just via a picture and believe that this may make the difference in many cases.
Pictures are helpful for some girls with great looks , but no money or yichus to speak of . If looks can’t be referenced , why can money and yichus ? There are many poor girls who have great middos, intelligence and personality.
Not sure this is the answer to the shidduch “crisis”. My son has never seen one picture. But in a world of the one-page resume wherein the shadchan knows nothing of what is being suggested, the picture is rather helpful to simply determine whether we are considering a girl who will want to marry our son. As far as the “crisis”, I believe that belongs to kollel system.
No offense, but very often the shaddchim forwards a separate picture with the resume. Maybe they should stop that??
All of those Shadchanim should be commended and should be matzliach in finalizing many successful shiduchim.חן אשה על בעלה is only by a personal meeting not by a picture.
Even Lavan understood full well that a picture is not the accepted Jewish tradition.
לא יעשה כן במקומנו לתת הצורה לפני הבחורה
The initiative is only effective for a small sliver of the shidduch population.
For the more “with it” more “cool” tech savy boys, they will never go out on a date without a pic. They will get it from a year book or from instagram , whats apps etc. anyhow. Its just an indefinite with them. This just todays generation.
For the chasidsh, the mothers meet the girl and often go peek at them (without their knowledge) by weddings anyhow. Not much different than a pic.
The yeshivish and ehrlicha boys mostly still don’t do the pictures.
So its only for boys that fall in between the above 3 categories.
pictures are good, but a little video where they describe what they want is even better!
This is a very worthwhile initiative which deserves our support. Before-meeting pictures devalue girls and cause both boys and girls, but much more so girls than boys, to be screened in or out for the wrong reasons.
(I am under no illusion that eliminating photos will make a big dent in what we call “shidduch crisis” but it will improve the quality of the process.)
Part of the Shiduch crisis is the Shadchonim. They are ill prepared to make shiduchim. I strongly feel there should be a course give to anyone wanting to become a Shadchon.
No Pics are a great idea-as long as they go on the date with blindfolds too. If a thumbnail head shot can rattle the brain of a cloistered Yeshiva Boy no telling what a 3D in person actual female could do-Yoish
There are many sides to this topic and it should be left to those educated ppl that have worked through both sides of this topic .. They can then make a pros and cons column like most intelligent ppl do about most topics, instead of just taking a side. I personally dont think adopt a shadchan folks are included in what i write about above..