NEW YORK (VINnews/SandyEller) – I know the newly launched Netflix miniseries that is the talk of the town and making waves on social media is titled My Unorthodox Life, but quite frankly, I think My Unorthodox Lie would be a far more accurate description of the narrative that Julia Haart is trying to push in her vicious festival of mistruths.
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Have no doubt about it – Orthodox Jewish women are outraged by Haart’s depiction of our lives, painting us as uneducated, submissive, repressed, subservient, creatures who live to do nothing more than keep house, make potato kugel and pop out babies in order to please our overbearing husbands.
Haart has been vocal in her criticisms of the Orthodox Jewish community’s values, saying that women in her hometown were kept in the shadows and never spoke up in public.
That disdain extended to the laws of modesty in both speech and behavior, concepts that she felt left girls feeling marginalized, in addition to dismissing the secular education she received in the local Bais Yaakov as meager.
I take exception to Haart’s words for two reasons – in addition to being an Orthodox Jewish woman whose life in no way mirrors the suffocating existence she describes, painting a picture that Hollywood eats like candy, I happen to live in Monsey, the very same community she categorizes as insular and fundamentalist – Monsey, New York.
Three of my daughters are graduates of Bais Yaakov of Monsey, the very school that Haart so glibly disparages, so while the world at large is thrilled to jump on yet another accusation of Orthodox schools providing a less than stellar secular curriculum, I know for a fact that she is dead wrong on this particular topic.
Each of my daughters spent four years immersed in a dual-curriculum program so rigorous that they were qualified to earn significant amounts of college credit while they were as young as 15, and where their secular and Judaic studies were on such a superior level that their college and graduate level coursework paled by comparison.
Equally laughable is Haart’s claim that she grew up in a world where clothing was intended to “cover and hide,” designed to make the wearer disappear into the background.
Clearly, she hasn’t shopped in Jewish stores anytime this century and seen how European and designer couture are all the rage, nor has Haart been to any local outlet centers where impeccably attired Orthodox and Chasidic women tote purchases from Gucci, Zimmermann, Escada, Ted Baker and Tory Burch.
But as ludicrous as those claims are, neither can touch the sheer chutzpah of My Unorthodox Life’s suggestion that Jewish women are deliberately caged after being trapped into loveless marriages that are devoid of all color.
Living as she is in a 10,000 square foot Tribeca triplex, it is obvious that Haart is clueless about Orthodox Jewish women.
Perhaps one day I could introduce her to any of the 74 successful Orthodox female doctors, lawyers, neuro-psychologists, fashion photographers, interior designers, CEOs and other entrepreneurs who signed up as volunteer mentors for an Eastern Union initiative designed to guide post-seminary girls towards rewarding careers.
Truthfully, I would love to see Haart take a trip down memory lane by reading a letter written to her by Monsey realtor Michla Berlin, one year her junior, as previously reported on VIN News.
A fellow Bais Yaakov of Monsey graduate, Berlin shared her high school memories of Haart, recalling her comedic genius as she headlined local events and how her graceful dancing left audiences mesmerized each year at the annual Bais Yaakov concert, performances that drew hundreds of paying spectators.
The MyOrthodoxLife.net (https://bit.ly/3hJOkjS) blog launched on Thursday sharing a growing stream of testaments from dozens of happy Orthodox Jewish women, and social media has been flooded with similar posts.
Shterny Steinmetz, a partner and vice president at Lucida Surface and director of a nonprofit, described her life as simultaneously hectic and fulfilling, writing on LinkedIn, “Being an Orthodox Jewish woman has never held me back from achieving anything I set my eyes on. I continue to set goals and I know that with my family, community on God on my side – nothing will stand in my way.”
Another post by Instagram user homegrownkosher read, “Dear world, don’t put me in a box and tell me how I’m supposed to feel. Don’t condescend to speak for all of us. We’re each unique individuals.”
Mishpacha columnist AlexandraFleksher took to Twitter to encourage women to post their own stories of Orthodoxy in response to the miniseries.
“I want the world to know that there are Orthodox women who are leading happy, healthy and fulfilled Orthodox lives,” tweeted Fleksher. “Who straddle the fence of the modern world and ancient tradition, and are proud that our tradition interacts with the modern world and informs our values and our lives. I’m a spiritually striving, discerning Orthodox woman who loves the best that this physical world has to offer.”
Entrepreneur Aviva Bennett Tribuch called Netflix out on Instagram, accusing the streaming service of focusing on the wrong stories. She described her life as being filled with contentment and meaning, the tenets of Orthodoxy guiding her to living her best life.
“I’m sorry the world only gets to see and hear about the unfortunate stories,” wrote Bennett. “I guess that’s what sells in Hollywood. I am connected to thousands of other modern, educated, worldly, rockstar Orthodox Jewish women who feel just as passionate and inspired as I do about the lifestyles we choose to uphold. Who wants to bring THIS series to Netflix?
Reading these women’s stories and knowing the truth about the Orthodox community in the macro and the Monsey community in the micro, I have a hard time feeling empathy for someone who felt that her education was incomplete because it didn’t include studies of high fashion magazines or in-depth analyses of a long running HBO series that was hardly rated PG, both of which were secret Haart indulgences. Clearly someone who unabashedly admits that “every low cut top, every miniskirt is an emblem of freedom is missing the boat on the inherent dignity and beauty that are the very foundations of Orthodox Judaism.
I cannot and will not be silent and let Haart’s ridiculous portrayal of Orthodox Judaism go unchallenged and I hope you can’t either.
Having been misrepresented and miscategorized one time too many, the world needs to find out who we are and what our lives are really all about.
Let’s counter Haart’s fairy tale with the truth, by sharing what our lives as Orthodox Jewish women are all about on social media because our voices need to be heard, and if you are up for it, our faces need to be seen as well.
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Sandy Eller is a writer with VIN News. She can be reached at [email protected]
You know that moment when your child is rowdy and all they need is either the bathroom or eat something nutritious…. all these so called unorthodox have underlying pain. That’s where it all begins. We have a beautiful community and nothing to be ashamed of.
I always laugh— who really thinks we Jewish women are, or ever were , weak,oppressed wallflowers? If we were, the Jewish people would never have survived .Our imahot were strong women who had to endure the evils of persecution from the nations. We today can laugh at these attempts to defame us from poor misguided , misinformed women with their silly leftist agendas.
The best thing to happen to me was get married and have children. How did these feminists gain credibility with their lies and cause so much unhappiness?
Talia Leibov aka Julia Hart, Moster, and the rest of their ilk are clearly guilt ridden, for succumbing to the shameless, depraved , and immoral cesspool of a culture we find ourselves floundering in, and subsequently, abandoning the faith of their forbearers. Hence Rather than acknowledge, and face their own weakness, they resort to the time tested tactic of blaming a convenient scapegoat.
However they didn’t count on pushback from the legions of successful women that lead exemplary and fulfilling lives, balancing home, career, and faith, without sacrificing one at the expense of the other(s).
As a husband, father , and grandfather , I, and all of Klal Yisroel owe you an enormous debt of gratitude.
WOW, This article is very well written and true too. I wonder if the NY post would publish an article of the unorthodox Muslim or is that xenophobic?
The truly orthodox life is one to be envied, and although the results speak for themselves (e.g. lower rates of divorce, crime, and substance abuse than any other segment of society, etc..) the style and method could certainly seem archaic to the uninformed. And while most would choose the results our lifestyle garners, they wouldn’t voluntarily choose the methods by which said results are achieved. What they fail to appreciate is that the two are interconnected.
There is so much freedom in restriction, and it takes an open mind to appreciate and acknowledge that. By way of very rudimentary example, when shopping for clothing in a department store, it’s so liberating to know that, budget and size constraints aside, the vast majority of clothing doesn’t apply to me! There is so much freedom in that!
In any event, thank you for the well written article.
Git gezugt. Opportunistic liars like her need to know that they will be exposed for the “drek” that they peddle.
I am waiting for Netflix to feature a movie about a religious Moslem woman who leaves the fold. By the way I have cancelled my Netflix account.
Of course they would portray it that way. They get their information from the self-haters, those with issues who because of their issues leave the fold or complain, and blame everyone but themselves.
We should be fighting Netflix and canceling the subscriptions, for putting out the 3rd highly critical movie about our beautiful community in less than 2 years, I wonder if they ever thought mof doing it to any other community, as for this attention seeker, it sounds like she would sell her kids for ten minutes of publicity, no point in going after a cowered like this
What’s the big deal just do some research and reveal the statistics of those who go otd. It’s just pain and trauma. Judaism never hurt anyone. Pray she should recover from her trauma and she’ll be right back on track.
Even a non religious person that rejects the culture and norms they were born into points at trauma not at enlightenment.
Anyone who has the slightest understanding in human nature doesn’t buy these stories.
BTW. Very well written article.
Let’s not get all worked up over these few self hating rotten apples. We know the truth as our truth is Divine. Nothing to envy in Hollywood as they drug themselves up,divorce and commit suicide. Our Torah is our guide. Just ignore these imbeciles as all they want is attention so they can get more people to watch their Jew hating show.
We are ok, but we do have to learn how to have love, caring, respect and empathy for all decent people. It absolutely does not matter what kind of a mother that person was born to.
Gmilas Chesed, Hashovas Aveido, To’os Akim, Bikur Cholim, Tzedoko for the poor, applies to All decent Human Beings.They are all the children of Hashem.
Sandy you fired on all cylinders
Such an articulate accurate response. Thank you Sandy!
Befuddled me how someone can take the plunge at enticing other people to her depraved way of life. Has she no fear of the judge? Or she’s proud of her Judaism which has no God. I’m confused.
Just remember BLD:
Big itches
Love
Drama
This Tart chick apparently was into drama and wanted (and got into) the spotlight years ago. That wasn’t enough for her. She needs to feed her ego more and more, always creating more drama.
Every coin has two sides .
Why attack a woman who was obviously abused and now has hate for her abusers ( yeshivish or hasidish teachers and likely her husband) do you blame holocaust survivors for hating Germans?