By Rabbi Yair Hoffman for 5tjt.com
There are a number of segulos that are given by Gedolim and or cited in seforim to help singles find their shidduch. What is found below are a number of these segulos. They are divided into things one can do, special times to daven, and special places to daven. The main thing that we should keep in mind is that Hashem sometimes presents us with great challenges in order to foster a stronger relationship with Him – one of Dveikus. Everything Hashem does is for our benefit. Let’s utilize this to our advantage.
THINGS ONE CAN DO
- When someone insults you and you do not respond – daven right away for a shidduch since you are considered “maavir al midosav.” Hashem loves such people and is particularly responsive to their prayers (heard from Rav Yitzchok Kolodetsky shlita, son-in-law of Rav Chaim Kanievsky shlita)
- Reciting Tehillim chapters 127 and 128 – they work specifically for Shidduchim. Also pasuk 32:6 and pasuk 68:7 are psukim that work like a rocket. [prakim 13 and 20 work for all yeshuos]. (also from Rav Yitzchok Kolodetsky)
- Establishing some form of Gemach (Shiurei Rav Shurkin p. 674)
- Helping a chosson and kallah that need assistance to get married.
- Davening for someone else to receive a shidduch, but being genuine about it, and not just for the idea in Bava Kamma 92a of “One who davens for his friend gets answered first” [Heard by the author from Rav Dovid Kviat zt”l)
- Getting a bracha from a tzaddik who open up the gates of bracha (Mesilas Yesharim chapter 19)
- To perform the Mitzvah of Shiluach HaKan (Midrash Tanchuma)
- For a man to learn meseches kesuvos in depth (in the name of Sheilas Yaakov cited in Zera Yaakov p.193 from Rav Prager son-in-law of Maharam Schick). For a woman – perhaps to sponsor in depth learning of meseches Kesuvos (author’s suggestion).
- To learn meseches Kiddushin or Kesuvos (Igrasa D’chedvasa – Rav Mordechai Gross p. 111). For a woman – perhaps to sponsor learning of either of these mesechtos (author’s suggestion).
- To recite this Midrash in Bereishis Rabbah (53:14): And He opened her eyes: Said Rabbi Binyomin – All are considered to be blind until Hashem opens their eyes. It is from this verse – And Hashem opened her eyes and she went to fill the cask of water. This is what is said, she was lacking in Emunah. ויפקח את עיניה אמר רבי בנימין הכל בחזקת סומין עד שהקב”ה מאיר את עיניהם, מן הכא ויפקח אלהים את עיניה, ותלך ותמלא את החמת, הדא אמרת מחוסרת אמנה היתה (from the Bobover Rebbe Rav Shlomo Halberstam Bais Tzaddikim page 85)
SPECIAL TIMES ONE CAN DAVEN
- On Rosh HaShana during Birchas Kohanim stand as close as feasibly possible to the Kohanim with palms faced upward as one who asks for abundance and blessing in their matters (in the name of Rav Elya Lopian zt”l –Derech HaShidduch p. 38)
- Davening with intense kavanna during aseres yemei teshuvah (yaalzu chassidim – Rabbi Eliezer Pappo #150)
- For a woman – On Pesach seder night to open the door for Eliyahu HaNavi (Rav Aharon Kotler zt”l)
- On Moztai Shabbos saying the entire Pizmon of Eliyahu haNavi with kavana (Mishne Halachos Vol. 19 289:3)
- Reciting the shiras hayam with intense kavanah and happiness – as when one admits Hashem’s miracles – He does more for you; and reciting Tehillim 32, 38, 70, 71, and 124 after shmoneh esreh (Sefer Refoel hamalach and meforshim elsewhere).
- Reciting the final bracha of Sim Shalom in Shmoneh Esreh with kavanah and keeping in mind Rabbi Tanchum’s statement in Yevamos 62b that says whomsoever is not married does not have joy, blessing, good things, Torah and Shalom (Rav Alechsander Ziskind Shachor brother-in-law of the Netziv)
- Reciting Tehillim 121 before ending every Shmoneh Esreh – at end of elokai netzor (Essah ainai el heharim) (from Sefer Asara Maamaros 4:17)
- Reciting Shir HaShirim for 40 days straight (See Mevakshei Torah 5768 #47 for what to do tisha b’av from Rav Elyashiv)
- For a man – reciting Kiddush Levana with kavana – Levana has the same letters as Besula Nisais L’yom Harevii (Kaf HaChaim 426)
PLACES TO DAVEN
- To go to Amuka and daven at the kever of Rav Yonasan Ben Uziel (Rashi, Yevamos 17a)
- To go to Tzfas to the kever of Rabbi Pinchas Ben Yair and go around it seven times – then to daven that in the merit of this Tanna you should find a zivug soon (author’s mother a”h received this segula from a gadol in Meah She’arim and got her shidduch on the very way back from Tzfas to Yerushalayim)
- Davening 40 days straight at the Kosel for a shidduch (Derech HaShidduch p. 36)
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