The Headlines Will Move On. But Will The Girls?

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NEW YORK (VINnews) — The following letter was written by a concerned educator regarding recent events:

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It is late at night and sleep eludes me as I close my eyes. All I see is a world of pain and anguish, with heartbreak that will only surface well after the current chapter appears to be closed. Yet for those affected by it, these few weeks are going to be among the most pivotal in their life, with scars that might never heal – scars that are both figurative, and shockingly often, literal.

The local news cycle is as passionate and animated as it’s been in a long time. The visit of Harav Shaul Alter Shlit”a and the response by Ger leadership is getting a lot of attention, but its most profound long term impact isn’t being discussed at all! Right now, the conversation is whether girls will be kicked out of school due to their father’s position on this matter, and whether a school should or even has a right to take such measures in response. Lost in this conversation is what will happen to the girls involved, even if they immediately land on their feet elsewhere.

LISTEN BELOW TO AN AUDIO RECORDING OF A GIRL GETTING SUSPENDED BECAUSE HER FATHER WENT TO SEE REB SHAUL ALTER

 

As someone with many years of experience in the field of chinuch, I say with complete confidence that in these very moments when the words in this letter are being written and read, there are heimish, frum, healthy teenage girls whose spiritual, emotional, and even physical lives are being extinguished or damaged beyond repair! I’ve seen it happen before and I know with certainty that it will happen again. Unless there is a change of heart and the girls remain in their natural environment, the end result will be dire.

(This letter previously stated that girls were kicked out of Bobov 17 years ago. VINnews has been unable to verify the veracity of these claims. In addition, the school vehemently denies these allegations. As a result, this paragraph has been removed.)

It does not take an expert or a mechanech to understand why this is. Schools are not just places where children learn to spell and count, they are spaces that serve primarily as social structure systems to help cultivate the next generation of Jewish wives and mothers. To suddenly tear children away from their friends, social circles and their sense of personal belonging is not to punish their father – it is to render worthless all the work that was put into them. No matter how they turn out, they will never fully recover. It’s just not possible! In addition, when a child is removed from their surroundings and told implicitly or explicitly that this is because her father’s actions have made her entire family tamei and labeled them as undesirables, a part of them has been destroyed forever.

It might be too late for Ger, but I implore anyone and everyone reading these words to at least begin making this part of the conversation. Those who have been on the receiving end of such treatment in the past should consider seeking therapy for their pain, and all of us should vow to do better going forward. Right now, we are ignoring the destruction of our most prized possessions before our very eyes. Please, let’s end this madness before it ends us.


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134 Comments
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Rabbi R. N.
Rabbi R. N.
2 years ago

To clarify a few things
Parents were told BEFORE the school year began that in order to keep /enroll students the next year they must commit to not going to reb shaul and in fact many pulled out their daughters. this commitment was signed by every parent so it’s like i signed… I was warned a week before he arrived… I go and then complain!? A school cannot enforce they’re rules?! You may not like the rules or even think it’s nuts but the school is made for ppl who don’t go to reb shaul like it or not.

Next i actually verified with someone from the school and it seems that
1.no one was actually expelled yet most parents who went to him pulled out on their own
2.the letter going around with the schools logo was falsified
3.the audio attached to the article is false as well

rebc
rebc
2 years ago

one step further: If boys and girls, even not Ger, even not Chasidish, see this kind of behavior among our holy mosdos , their reaction can easily be: Its all fake, nothing is LeShaim Shomayim, Aderbaeh, its actually L”shame Shomayim, then in 5-10-15 years , a significant portion will be OTD and worse

Danny
Danny
2 years ago

Some say, “Well, the parents were warned”. Reminds me of a story I heard from rabbi Y Frand. He said: One day a child came home without fingers, his rabbi chopped them off. The horrified father called the rabbi and asked him, “why did you do it?” The rabbi replied, “I warned him that if he doesn’t point to the text I’ll chop off his fingers. I warned him”

WARNING THAT AN INJUSTICE WILL BE DONE DOES NOT MAKE IT JUST!

WARNING THAT AN INJUSTICE WILL BE DONE DOES NOT MAKE IT JUST!

Kids who lose their social life are ruined. Those who make them lose their social life are murderers.

I, as a therapist, deal with this issue every day. A stolen social circle is equivalent to murder!

עיני עיני יורדה מים

Danny
Danny
2 years ago

The point of this article is spot on. Even if the parents committed the worst crime possible, in this case going to an opposing rabbi, it does not justify tormenting the children.

therapist
therapist
2 years ago

Not getting involved in the politics but if it’s so bad for the children shouldn’t the patents also get at least part of the blame? They’re was an audio going around before he came warning parents so they knew it’s coming so they must of decided it was worth getting their children out before they went

Chasid
Chasid
2 years ago

I know this comment is different so before you jump on responding please respond to the points, don’t just give a thumbs down cuz it’s not the narrative being sold, I do think that there is a side in understanding throwing out the kids from the schools, all of you make it sound as if it is normal what is happening in ger, just imagine any other chasidus with a big rabbi and thousands of chasidim, and one day the cousin of the rabbi decides to open up a fringe group proclaiming for everyone that the rebbe is not leading on the right path so I’m opening a new one which is the correct way, he would be stoned to death, in every chasidus the chasidim may disagree with many things the Rebbe does but too bad he is the rabbi he’s the boss, you don’t stand up against the Rebbe and decide he’s no good we’ll go on our own, especially when it’s his own father that promised his brother the old Rebbe that today’s Rebbe is going to become the rebbe and not his son the rosh Yeshiva.

Jay
Jay
2 years ago

I’m beyond shocked that this is even happening. In times when we need Moshiach so desperately, we are behaving in the same manner that actually caused the destruction of the Bais Hamikdush? Cant believe this is happening in our times. Disgusting!

Josh5
Josh5
2 years ago

Sad part is that BH there are enough people for everybody!
Every person has his way that he becomes closer to Hashem why hinder that ???
It would be beautiful if we would all be able to live together in peace and just because somebody has a different derech doesn’t mean he should be expelled from school!
40 years ago there was no such concept, in every chasidisher yeshiva you had multiple types of people.
Sad!

Shlomo
Shlomo
2 years ago

Why are people expressing their shock and sending comments in this forum?
Why aren’t there at least 1000 people of all factions of frum Judaism protesting in front of Ger headquaters here and in Yerushalayim to voice our protest in a public outcry to shame them for their barbaric inhumane actions . and unite in solidarity towards the affected.

Just Sayin’
Just Sayin’
2 years ago

These scoundrels are enjoying their 15 minutes of fame NOW , but every one of them will have to give דין וחשבון for every child ( and adult!) that abandons their faith in disgust!

Last edited 2 years ago by Rabbi Yair Hoffman
Chaya Frady
Chaya Frady
2 years ago

Although I 100% agree with what was written in the letter, the author wrote factual inaccuracies. 17 years ago Bobov-48 didn’t kick out a single girl because her parents went to Bobov-45. It was just after many months after the split, when Bobov-45 opened their own school, that we all left and went to our own school. I know because I was from those that left. I believe there were even some that stayed on at Bobov-48 until completing high school. I don’t know of anyone that was kicked out.

There is really no reason that in a letter like this, which highlights a very important issue, should state any inaccuracies.

Naf
Naf
2 years ago

you wrote:
“we are ignoring the destruction of our most prized possessions before our very eyes”

its not that WE are ignoring it, we are POWERLESS!! who cares what’s important for us. We are mere pawns in these so called “Rebbes” game of power and control. And for them the “most prized possessions before their very eyes” is POWER and $$$, not our children and not Yiddishkeit and definably not GOD.

They don’t care about their very OWN children either. For its clear their children will also fight to death once they die just like they do today. This is how short sighted they are, they don’t care about anything other then POWER and $$$

Shaffner
Shaffner
2 years ago

But remember it is lace top sheitels that is causing all the problems in Klal Yisroel

Educated Archy
Educated Archy
2 years ago

Ok I see vin won’t let me post names. So let’s talk general terms.
The rabbonim and powers that may be have the koach to flex their muscles and tell both ger and the askanim to let their kids back or we will put you in cherem. It’s time we stop using kids as weapons . And the powerful organizations who have leaders close to gur must influence those activists to flex their muscles and stop weaponizing Yiddisha neshomos. We need to stop using our kids and cvs to put kids in the street

Last edited 2 years ago by Rabbi Yair Hoffman
Voice of reason
Voice of reason
2 years ago

oy

Last edited 2 years ago by Rabbi Yair Hoffman
anonymous
anonymous
2 years ago

I’m sure Hashem is looking down from on high and shepping nachas upon the way His children are getting along, for shame !!!

Last edited 2 years ago by SHMEREL_120
Rosh yeshiva
Rosh yeshiva
2 years ago

It makes sense that reb shauls chasidim pulled out because the rosh yeshiva shlita is very against the chinuch in ger and advises his chasidim to pull out asap

Ina
Ina
2 years ago

And this is the way to suspend a child from a school? A mean message left by a woman who doesn’t appear to have even a drop of professionalism! These are the people educating our children? Shame on them! Then we wonder why so much of the chasidishe youth are disenfranchised and have no interest in continuing this stifling way of life.

triumphinwhitehouse
triumphinwhitehouse
2 years ago

isnt the chairman of Aguda a Gerrer chasid who is loyal to the rebbe and not liking Reb Shaul alter, now we understand why Aguda affiliated folks boycotted this holy tzadik reb shaul.

Naf
Naf
2 years ago

there is never an excuse to involve innocent children in your power struggles using them as pawns, inflicting pain on them to control their parents. not if you are a decent human being and definitely not if you are a Rebbe.

lazy-boy
lazy-boy
2 years ago

the author is spot on!

Trident 5
Trident 5
2 years ago

Oy

Last edited 2 years ago by Rabbi Yair Hoffman
Mr J Friedman
Mr J Friedman
2 years ago

 I work with some gerer and he told me he is SPECIFICALLY keeping his child in ger on order to shame the school and fight with them and btw nobody myself included heard gers version

Smarty
Smarty
2 years ago

I personally know a family in Israel whom reb shaul told them to take out their children from ger as soon as they can EVEN IN MIDDLE OF THE SEMESTER to transfer them to his moisdos just sayin

Hashomer
Hashomer
2 years ago

The nasty behaviors and tactics used by Gur occur only when their followers follow blindly, and bow down to their total ‘authority’. It happens in all groups when total conformity is more important than free thinking.

can't believe anything
can't believe anything
2 years ago

very sad.
But
HOW CAN WE BELIEVE THIS MESSAGE IS REAL when many weeks ago robo calls were going around all of Brooklyn including Williamsburg ab an asifa that will outline that couples should get divorced and kids should nit listen to heir parents and there will be a beis yesomim. it was FALSE and not true.

WHY WILLIAMSBURG?? We never knew or had anything with ger !

whomever is running this propaganda is at fault and working very hard to make machlokes.

aside I verified the rebbe is alive and had been rebbe for almost 30 years!
hiw cna you compare this to bobov (whether true or not)

hmmm, winder Id this will be posted.

I don’t believe anything they say anymore.
recordings can be made up, pictures photocopied, videos edited

they did it here and I hear in Israel as well.

Mordy
Mordy
2 years ago

I’m missing part of the story, are there more headlines reported about Reb Shaul’s visit to the USA

Josh5
Josh5
2 years ago

Yup I agree with you!!

Aguttenshabbos
Aguttenshabbos
2 years ago

It appears that there are some that forgot about something called the coronavirus that started 2 years ago, and all the קרבנות that Hashem took from us. Bad behavior seems to be right back to the way it was as if nothing happened. We should all be very concerned and scared of what’s to come our way. ה’ ישמור.

Last edited 2 years ago by Aguttenshabbos
tamid_besimcha
tamid_besimcha
2 years ago

respectfully asking…I noticed a video clip that R’ Shaul spoke in yeshiva yagdil torah, isn’t that ger school for boys in america?

anonymous
anonymous
2 years ago

If Yidden will stop fighting over NAARISHKEIT maybe we wouldn’t have to worry about these girls and maybe, just maybe you won’t lose any sleep either.

We are missing out on the bigger picture thanks to these naarishe fights among ourselves.

Maybe if we stop all this nonsense we can wake up and greet Moshiach !!!

Not Surprised
Not Surprised
2 years ago

Looks like we’ll be fasting again this coming Tisha b’Av.

m shain
m shain
2 years ago

your language says it all

mill2020
mill2020
2 years ago

This site is full of loshon hara and rechilus, etc. anyone reading this gossip should keep their trap shut cause their opinion on rebbes or anything else has no value. Before u wanna take care of the grand rabbis yetzer hara conquer your own. Until then shut up dont speak up.

dannyboy
dannyboy
2 years ago

oy

Last edited 2 years ago by Rabbi Yair Hoffman
Jackson
Jackson
2 years ago

There is no name signed to this article so there is no reason to take it too seriously.

Anyway, based on the logic behind this article no matter how unhappy a subgroup is with their group they can’t form a breakoff and conversely no matter how much a subgroup flaunts the rules of the group they by extension their children can’t be sent away.

That would cause a LOT more problems than the inevitable collateral damage starting new groups does.

Nothing in this comment has anything to do with any specific dispute and breakoff