LETTER TO THE EDITOR: Will Banning Really Solve the Problem?

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Recently, Gedolim have been speaking out against harmful behaviors that have become widespread, even among “Yeshivishe” families.

Smartphones and devices are rampant, and even if they’re “kosher” can be harmful and a huge waste of time. If they’re not kosher, they can break up marriages and drive kids off the derech. Drinking at kiddushes, extravagant simchas, immodest attire — are all major issues. Even marijuana use is more widespread than anyone is willing to admit. Recently, there was a frum concert in which boys and girls engaged in inappropriate dancing, standing right near each other.

Our response is usually to crack down and “ban” bad behavior. And while that may be correct, in my opinion, it does not address the root problem. (It may even exacerbate the problem.)

Sure, we can ban smartphones, concerts, social media. But the real cause of the problem is that the people engaging in these behaviors feel emotionally empty. They are good, pure people, but have a ruchniyus vacuum. Yiddishkeit is lacking in fulfillment, so they turn to other outlets for the “fix” they desperately need.

Some people don’t know why they keep Shabbos or Kashrus, or learn Torah all day. So they go to a concert and push boundaries, thinking “at least I’m at a Jewish concert, not a goyish one”. Or they get plastered at a kiddush, thinking “at least I’m getting to shul, which I find boring and painful.”

Sure, many people DO feel fulfilled. That said, some good, ehrliche people simply don’t connect. They are frum to fit in, but feel a deep void. Maybe we need to do a better job of showing them why being a frum Yid is the most fulfilling and pleasurable way of life.

I’m not chas V’Shalom questioning the Gedolim or suggesting that we should not ban things.

I’m merely saying that we can ban everything under the sun, yet it will not solve the problem of people seeking the next “thrilling adrenaline rush.”

– A concerned Yid

NOTE: The views expressed do not necessarily represent the views of VINNews.


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19 Comments
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This "jewish music" is utter garbage
This "jewish music" is utter garbage
2 years ago

Absolutely correct. Our religion has become devoid of it’s beauty and majesty. People are lost and confused and go through the motions of the mitzvos and torah but are completely deadened to the spirituality they are supposed to be growing and achieving from it. They know not what they do and for why they do it. Sheep without a shepherd. Very very sad. Extravagant spending on nothingness like doughnuts and wedding centerpieces and private planes and pesach programs amd 12000 dollar sheitels and everything else to show off to the neighbors and keep up with the Joneses. No more tzniyus, no more anivus, no more emes, no more yiras Hashem, no more being a real person, no more looking to become the best version of yourself because that’s what you were put in this word for, no more figuring out what Hashem wants the world to be- just shaker and hevel and gashmius and emptiness and utter nothingness inside and out.

Anonymous
Anonymous
2 years ago

I think the letter writer makes a good point.

Part of the solution might be to better improve our chinuch, both in school and at home, to ingrain in both ourselves and in our kids (both, not just the kids) that we are not just goyim who happen to have Torah and Mitzvos but rather a unique people, the am segula, proud and thankful to Hashem for the great mission He gave us of being a mamleches kohanim viGoy kadosh, which means that our lives are fundamentally and practically very different from that of the goyim.

The rest should follow from there.

Samson
Samson
2 years ago

If the only way to sell Yiddishkeit is by banning everything, then we are bankrupt.

Hashomer
Hashomer
2 years ago

Its nice to see a letter to VIN from Sigmund Freud, who decided that frum people who use cell phones or marijuana, etc., are ’emotionally empty’. Quite a diagnosis. So what’s the cure? As the REAL Sigmund noted, the more things are repressed, the stronger they come out later. Rabbinical bans on cell phones, etc, will only push more folks away.

moshe bron
moshe bron
2 years ago

My 2 sense,
It’s the people giving the message, they are in positions to affect real change yet they don’t. For instance, proclaim that you will not participate in an extravagant simcha or that you won’t allow booze in your shul or that you will deal with anyone in your institution that has “technology” regardless of who it is even though said individual might be one of the more affluent and supportive members. The list goes on and on, unfortunately there’s this “for thee but not for me” attitude amongst us. And in regards to marijuana, we voted for candidates that pushed for legalization at the urging and with the full $upport of
“Our leadership”.

Politically Incorrect
Politically Incorrect
2 years ago

The problem is that many if not most of today’s youth (and adults) are going through the motions of Yiddishkeit because it’s easier than getting stares from the whole community, because that’s how they were brought up, etc. If you ask any of them WHY we do something, or what is the idea behind something we do, they will stare at you blankly. Yiddishkeit, to them, has become just a series of repetitive motions, and after a while, you don’t even realize that you are doing them. Therefore, It should not come as a surprise that there are people who are searching for fulfillment somewhere else, because they aren’t finding that here! This is a problem that needs to be addressed from about 4th grade and up. Once children have gotten everything pretty much down pat- Shabbos, Yom Tov, tzitzis, tznius, etc- then it’s time to go back and teach them WHY, and show them the beauty of it all.

lazy-boy
lazy-boy
2 years ago

most problems of kids off the derech from what I have seen are not in chinuch from the schools, but lousy parent/child relationship.

I know many kids where I live, in a frum part of Jerusalem who have little to do with being observant. Their parents were way too tough on them and did not give them the love and CARE that they needed when they grew up.
So they ended up in OTD groups of kids like them and went down even more….

Love your kids and do the best to give them what they need. Not what you think is best.

Sue
Sue
2 years ago

Chanukah – the fight against hellinism within our own ranks. We need a renewal in our present judaism

Golda
Golda
2 years ago

So what’s the solution? That these things not be written about or critisized? The neviim had to say mussar even during the times of the Basis Hamikdosh and those times should’ve bought the ultimate in satisfaction to Yidden. But many Yidden were not satisfied with that, they wanted the culture of the goyim. It is our problem if we do not feel fulfillment in life besides for technology, no one is obligated to provide that for us.

Last edited 2 years ago by hernor
triumphinwhitehouse
triumphinwhitehouse
2 years ago

so basically what you are advocating is what the reform said, lets “go with the times” Shabbos will be Saturday and the rabbi will look like a Protestant galach and well have an musical organ playing to boot. We must ban concerts in general as there is no mesora of Yidden going to concerts the only heter for music is a simcha. Yiddishkeit is not the religion of whats easy.