Powerful Letter from Rabbi Ron Yitzchok Eisenman of Passaic about the Chaim Walder Case

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Today is Tuesday the 24th of Teves 5782 and December 28th, 2021

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I could have ignored it, as most are.

I could have sensationalized it as some are.

I could blame it on the people who asked me my opinion.

However, all of that would not be truthful.

As a person who has had the painful experiences of crying with victims of sexual abuse for two and half decades, I have decided I cannot remain silent.

I CANNOT BE SILENT when I think of a beloved friend who was brought up in the heart of a Chassidic community and is now an avowed atheist.

When I am contacted by women who were violated and are now emotionally scarred, I cannot be silent.

And when I see people I used to respect downplaying, minimizing, and –worst of all blaming the victims, I cannot be silent.

There is no code of silence when someone is screaming in pain.

When one is silent, they are engaging in complacency and complicity.

Iyov failed to scream out when we heard of the future pain to the Jewish people, and for that, he suffered.

So too, I must scream out in pain when I see the pain of two dozen individuals spanning over two decades.

I did not sleep the last two nights as the stories of young women and men, married women, boys and girls who sit in loneliness and fear fill my mind.

I tossed and turned as I thought about those who have no one to turn to, for no one will believe them.

I think about those victims who have, in some cases, suffered years of abuse at the hands of serial molesters.

They had (and often still have) no one to turn to.

They are shamed, scarred, stained, and humiliated.

And therefore, I must scream out at the case of CW.

At the outset, I admit that every case must be handled carefully and with sensitivity.

Obviously, a lone allegation made about a person whose reputation is unstained and the allegation stems from thirty years ago must be carefully fleshed out before taking it as a fact.

However, when you have dozens of boys, girls, married women, and single women who have testified in front of the Beis Din of Rav Shmuel Eliyahu about being victimized by CW, then we must not be silent.

Some of the allegations against CW are from over two decades ago, and some are as recent as six months ago.

The evidence, in this case, is overwhelming.

I don’t know of any Rav who has spoken in defense of CW.

If anything, it seems that it was an open secret that was waiting to blow up.

Here are the facts:

Rav Shmuel Eliyahu, Chief Rav of Tzfas, went personally and spoke privately to CW and pleaded with him to stop his pernicious ways. CW responded with intimidation and threats.

The Gaon HaRav Yehudah Moshe Silman – the head of the most respected Beis Din in Israel, the Beis Din of Rav Nissim Karelitz Zt”L, teamed up with Rav Eliyahu, and he also pleaded with CW to cease and desist. His pleas fell on deaf ears.

In his suicide note, CW named both Rav Eliyahu and Rav Silman and called them to a Din Torah in heaven for their allegations against him.

CW was summoned to attend the proceedings against him in the Beis Din of Rav Eliyahu and declined.

CW chose to go straight to the heavenly Beis Din with his own gun.

Both Rav Silman and Rav Eliyahu have issued public halachik decisions that one should not read or possess in their home books authored by a serial predator and destroyer of lives.

I spoke to one of the major Dayanim here in America (I did not ask permission to use his name). He, too, was emphatic that one should sanitize one’s house from the pernicious, destructive, and poisonous works of a serial rapist.

I spoke this morning to my good friend and amazing Seforim Store owner, Mr. Berman from Z.Berman Books here in Passaic.

He has informed me that CW’s books will no longer be sold here in Passaic.

I stress that I am following in the path of those greater than I, namely, Rav Silman (almost 80 years old and a great Talmid Chochom) and Rav Eliyahu, the chief rabbi of Tzefas.

I must also point out that Rav Gershon Edelstein had CWs weekly article in the Yated excised immediately- even before Rav Eliyahu convened his Beis Din.

Rav Silman was 100% supportive of all of the actions of Rav Eliyahu.

CW was spoken to multiple times in attempts to avoid a public Chilul Hashem.

Rather, through manipulation and threats of his victims (recorded), CW threatened that if his accusers ever go public, he will kill himself.

This is typical of predators; they attempt to convince their victims that they are the predators if they try to defend themselves, and the predator becomes the victim as he will kill himself.

CW was confident that he would never be exposed just like all serial predators.

With regards to the claims that CW had enemies who were trying to get back at him:

It is simply impossible for anyone to have coordinated two dozen people from all over Israel in all age groups and in both genders to lie in sync because of their collective grudge against him.

The evidence against CW is simply staggering.

Therefore, in light of the psak by Rav Silman from the Beis Din of Rav Nissim Karelitz and the psak from Rav Shmuel Eliyahu, one should immediately remove all books written by CW from their house and dispose of them.

They should not be given to anyone else, nor should they be donated to a library.

Rather, they should be trashed.

Besides the psak from the above-mentioned Rabbonim, I also feel that by getting rid of the books this shows a sense of unity and identification with the victims of his predatory and evil ways.

It states that we stand with the victim, not with the perpetrator.

After all, would you allow a book by someone who murdered your friend in your library?

Violating someone sexually is akin to murder.

As the Torah says:

“If out in the country a man happens to meet a young woman pledged to be married and rapes her, only the man who has done this shall die. Do nothing to the woman; she has committed no sin deserving death. This case is like that of someone who attacks and murders a neighbor for the man found the young woman out in the country, and though the betrothed woman screamed, there was no one to rescue her.” (Devarim 22:25-27)

The Torah equates sexual assault to murder.

Therefore:

1. All books from CW should be discarded in the trash immediately

2. Families should review with their children that no one has the right to touch them in any place below their waist or on their chest.

3. Never send your child to a therapist unless you have access to the therapy room- be it a two way mirror or the door being ajar.

4. Never let your child go into a car with anyone alone.

5. Never allow your daughter or son to be picked up by the family he/she is babysitting for.

a. Either both parents have to come

b. Or you drive them

6. Never let your daughter (and/or son too) go into the front seat with a male or female

7. Make sure laws of Yichud are always followed very stringently

8. If your child is invited over for a sleepover (which nowadays is no longer a good idea), find out if there are older children or other relatives in the house BEFORE you allow your child to go.

9. Tell your children that if they are Chas V’Shalom touched, they did nothing wrong, and they should never feel ashamed to tell you.

10. Daven and daven more for our children’s safety

With regard to this incident, if your children ask, “Why are you throwing out his books?” Answer, “Hashem has given everyone free choice and sometimes (hopefully rarely) even good people do bad things. CW did bad and we have to remove his books. As with anything else, we are doing so based on the Psak of Gedolei Yisroel.”

Let us utilize this terrible incident as a wake-up call to do good and protect the more vulnerable among us.

Please note, the views expressed in this article are mine and mine alone. I take full responsibility for them.

I sign with tears that I had to write this….

“If Not Now, Then When?”- Hillel

Ron Yitzchok Eisenman

Rabbi

Congregation Ahavas Israel

Passaic, NJ

Rabbi Ron Yitzchok Eisenman was born and raised in Brooklyn. After marriage he spent years learning in Kollel both in Eretz Yisroel and in the States. After being privileged to teach Torah as a rebbe in Yeshiva for two decades, in 1997 he was appointed as the Rav of Congregation Ahavas Israel in Passaic, NJ. From humble beginnings the shul now hosts forty minyamin a day. In addition to his rabbinic functions, Rabbi Eisenman is a Professor at Lander College for Women. He has published three books; the latest, Shul With A View (Artscroll), is a much enlarged compendium of the columns published in Mishpacha Magazine since 2008. Rabbi Eisenman also writes a blog entitled The Short Vort, with anecdotes about the ups and downs of being a shul rabbi. Rabbi Eisenman and his family have been living in Passaic for thirty years, and their married children are spread out in the New York area and Eretz Yisroel.


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81 Comments
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Sad
Sad
2 years ago

Yaasher Koach!

Independent
Independent
2 years ago

In times like these (and times not like these too) we turn to our rabbonim for guidance. Thank you Rav Eisenman!.

Brainiac
Brainiac
2 years ago

Thank you Rabbi. It’s clear that you speak from the heart. That’s all we public need.

Jacob
Jacob
2 years ago

This does answer many of the questions I had. Why have zero Brooklyn Rabbonim come out with a statement??

e.g.
e.g.
2 years ago

Does it not bother anyone that CW committed suicide?? We must remove his books to also show that the author chose to deal with his problems in the worst way. Yehudah did Teshuva publicly re: Tamar , Dovid HaMelech as well. The door to teshuva is open as long as you are alive. We mourn that this public figure chose suicide. He hurt so many more people this way. There is a huge uptick in suicide cases among us. We must address that as well.

Noach Karas
Noach Karas
2 years ago

Well said I’m glad to hear your correct and just view

Normal
Normal
2 years ago

All very nice but what is burning in my mind is that Rabbonim told him to “cease and desist over and over again to avoid a Chillul Hashem”.
Recidivism means that he would never stop and the only way to stop him is to get victims to go to the police.

shlomo zalman
shlomo zalman
2 years ago

Finally, a Rav who thinks straight and has broad shoulders.

Chaim
Chaim
2 years ago

A tremendous post. I only wish other rabbis and community leaders would follow Rabbi Eisenman’s courageous example.

Shimon Chaim
Shimon Chaim
2 years ago

To the good, practical advice in this letter can and should be added, if you become aware of abuse report it immediately to the police.

althematch
althematch
2 years ago

odds this will appear in Mishpacha— zero
odds the Rosh Yeshiva attacking the attackers will be supported–100%

ruby
ruby
2 years ago

everyone’s door is open to a victim that sincerely wants help, ( $ for therapy..chizuk..) its where the victim wants to see the perp hung publicly is where its dicey
the biggest challenge is that most victims dont come forward for a variety of reasons & thats why it took years

Shayn
Shayn
2 years ago

I’ve read that this took place over the past 25 years. All the victims spoke to the rabbis this year? I don’t believe that. And if they spoke years ago, where have the rabbis been all these years? If marriages were broken because the women were in a relationship with Walter, why did the beis din not come out screaming to stop him before more homes were destroyed? Where were the husbands of these women who had affairs ? Why did they not come out screaming? All of a sudden, in 2021, the rabbis all woke up. I am NOT disbelieving the victims. I find it impossible to accept that “men” were “violated” and that it took 25 years to go public. Again, where were the holy rollers for so many years and not doing squat. Something stinks and it’s not MY garbage.

Yosef
Yosef
2 years ago

Rabbi E. Please explain what we should say to our kids when they ask that next question… what bad did he do, Totty ?
Kids will ask it. Please don’t ignore it. They need to be told. Not ignored.

Earl
Earl
2 years ago

The laws of Lashon Hara do not apply in this situation. When an armed individual goes on a shooting rampage, there is no requirement to take him to Bais Din before calling the police. Furthermore, it is not “Lashon Hara” to warn others to take cover. The individual in question was engaged in ongoing criminal activity of an extremely severe nature, and those aware of it would have been in the right to go to the police without first going to Bais Din. How much more so did they have a right to warn others.

5TResident
5TResident
2 years ago

I know R Eisenman personally. He’s an incredible Talmid Chocham.

Abbott Katz
Abbott Katz
2 years ago

An important statement.

M wein
M wein
2 years ago

Very sad and heartbreaking….

Yosi
Yosi
2 years ago

It seems that the letters from Bais Din to throw out the books are NOT available in Eretz Yisroel- can someone verify their existence and post

gayle slurzberg
gayle slurzberg
2 years ago

Thank you for standing up for those victims.

Gersey
Gersey
2 years ago

I am a Yid:
and I approve of this Message!

Chana
Chana
2 years ago

Finally! A rabbi that speaks to the pain of so many. If not now than when. Indeed.

Clarification
Clarification
2 years ago

Anybody have an email for Rabbi Eisenmann?
I wanted to clarify some of the facts here?

Harley
Harley
2 years ago

It seems that Walder is just like COVID-19. If we accept the findings of Rabbi Eliyahu’s investigation, there are clearly serious issues that need the community’s attention. However, we do not need to turn ourselves totally inside out because of this. We should take reasonable precautions against the Walder COVID virus but the steps Rabbi Eisenman is suggesting are no less over the top than those that have been suggested by some for dealing with COVID. In the same way as there will always be physical sickness there will always be mental sickness. We should try our best to keep both at bay but not drive ourselves crazy about either. Hashem rules the world and he will take care of us provided we do our hishtadlus, but not if we think we need to deal with every last point.

Correct me if I am wrong
Correct me if I am wrong
2 years ago

How could anyone trust a psychologist or a social worker again?

What do you think psychologist and social workers do, they take away your guilt conscience, and try to let you feel good to live with yourself.
Rabbi miller said on a tape even Hitler through psychology convinced himself that he is doing a great thing, they are experts in getting other people not to feel bad about the wrong things that there are doing, so why can’t they convinced themselves that they should not feel bad about the wrong things that they’re doing, how could anyone trust a psychologist or social worker again.

Judge
Judge
2 years ago

I think Rabbi Eiseman has gone too far with his suggestions of how to protect children. Is he forgetting that implementing all of those rules could also cause children the trauma of paranoia and mistrust of everybody? If we look at this logically, we can narrow down where to implement caution.

  1. Weird people, even if they seem harmless, since they are outside of “yishuvo shel olam” they are unpredictable. Mostly they are nebbuchs and it is a mitzva to be mekarev them as we would all umlalim, but take the precautions with them Rabbi Eisenman listed.
  2. Just about all of these stories of years and decades of silent abuse have been about perpetrators who were psychologists, therapists and even psychiatrists. Indeed, they are more trained and talented in persuading their victims to keep silent so they can continue the abuse with impunity. Be cautious when sending children or even adults who have problems to these types. their therapy always involves gaining the confidence of their patients. On the one hand, that is only way they can help people with problems. But on the other hand it creates a danger of an open invitation to control and abuse.
Correct me if I am wrong
Correct me if I am wrong
2 years ago

Correct me if I am wrong. It sounds like from rabbi eliyahos own letter. That only one person with personal first hand knowledge of abuse testified. All the other witness where only what someone else told them.

Aron
Aron
2 years ago

The torah does not equate sexually abuse to murder.
It says forced rape. And even then it doesn’t say it’s like murder.
If he persuaded her it’s a different story.