‘And Then They Hit The Eidim’: Documenting An Unusual Wedding Custom

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JERUSALEM (VINnews) — Journalist Yisrael Shapira attended a recent Jerusalem wedding and rubbed his eyes in disbelief as he saw people hitting the Eidim, the witnesses to the betrothal, just moments before the wedding ceremony took place. Before calling the police, Yisrael asked the family if everything was in order. They responded that indeed there were no issues but it is an ancient custom to hit the Eidim before the Chupah.

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Yisrael’s interest was piqued and he searched for a source for this unusual custom. On the Beinenu site he found a source for this in an article by Rabbi Yisrael Dendrowitz who writes that the minhag is to rouse the Eidim to repent before the Chupah takes place. The reason for this is so that they should not have any unrepented sins which might disqualify their testimony. Just as prior to Yom Kippur there are those who are accustomed to giving Malkos (lashes) in order to facilitate repentance before the holy day, the Eidim also receive lashes.

מתוך עלון 'קב ונקי' (צילום מסך 'אתר בינינו')

An early source for the custom is the rare book Kushyos l’Echad Min Ha’Rishonim (Questions by one of the early authorities) written in the 13th century by a student of Maharam Rottenburg (and republished in a new edition in 2007). The author suggests that since a wedding must always have some strife (as the gemara in Shabbos 130a says), we wish to prevent the strife from the happy couple and their families. Therefore the Eidim are hit by the assembled and this is considered as if the “strife” has been removed from the couple.

 


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13 Comments
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Ronnie
Ronnie
2 years ago

Honestly!

With all the news that we’ve digested over the past few weeks, we absolutely positively do not need to start hitting ANY Yidden, regardless of minhag.

Peretz
Peretz
2 years ago

Thank you R. Hoffman

Huh
Huh
2 years ago

I attended a wedding like this once. I hit the Eid so hard the Chuppah had to be delayed until he woke up.

shimonyehuda
shimonyehuda
2 years ago

a good reason to refuse to be a witness.

Jacob Weinberg
Jacob Weinberg
2 years ago

I would like to know who today does this mishugena minhag so that my family stays far away!

Archy's Brother
Archy's Brother
2 years ago

Does that mean that all chuppahs where the aidim were not beaten are invalid?

Aaron
Aaron
2 years ago

I have heard of a modern practice of the m’sader kidushin asking the Eidim if they repent as a means of ascertaining that when they signed the ketuba they were kosher eidim.

Best Comment
Best Comment
2 years ago

If they would hit the Mesader Kidushin, people would not be jealous and not pursue
honor either.

Ben
Ben
2 years ago

His hat for your hit

Aguttenshabbos
Aguttenshabbos
2 years ago

The jokes in the comments. Too funny. Lol

Elchonon
Elchonon
2 years ago

I once went to a wedding and the eidim banged their head on the wall
And it was explained it’s for sholom bayis
So the husband or wife were absolved of future conflict and wouldn’t tell the other
Klapzech kup in vant
Then there was the wedding where they pinned a tail on the eidim
So the couple would never say
Du feired to each other