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Our topic today is Get Refusal. What does that mean? A Get is a dated and witnessed document written in Aramaic where the husband states that he is divorcing his wife and severing all ties with her. This document is then placed in her hands.
In order for a woman to remarry, or just move on with her life, this document is critical. A woman cannot remarry without a Get. If her husband refuses to grant her the Get she becomes an Agunah, a “chained woman,” because she is stuck in limbo, and cannot move forward in life.
Civil courts in the United States are recognizing that refusing to give a divorce is abuse. But, thank G-d there is an organization that addresses the Agunah crisis. That organization is called ORA. With us today to talk about this worldwide crisis and what ORA does is Keshet Starr, Esq. She is the CEO of the Organization for the Resolution of Agunot (ORA), the nonprofit organization addressing the Agunah (Jewish divorce refusal) crisis on a case-by-case basis worldwide. At ORA, Keshet oversees advocacy and early intervention initiatives designed to assist individuals seeking a Jewish divorce, along with prevention initiatives to eliminate abuse from the Jewish divorce process. Keshet has written for various outlets, and frequently presents on issues related to Jewish divorce, domestic abuse, and the intersection between civil and religious divorce processes.
Keshet helped our audience understand the plight of someone who wants out of a marriage, and whose spouse is refusing to let them go, and what ORA does to rectify this crisis with regard to methods, and she explained the point during the separation period of a marriage as to when an individual is considered a Get Refuser, and when ORA steps in.
Keshet eloquently described the typical charming profile of a Get Refuser, and how no one will admit to being a Get Refuser. They will state various lines to tug at the heartstrings in an attempt to come across as the victim in explaining why they are not giving the Get.
Keshet warned that Get Refusers are abusers, and it continues when they get into future relationships and marriages, along with recognizing the red flags in a dating relationship, and that, in her opinion, it is not safe to date a person who had previously withheld a Get from his wife.
Keshet stated that although there are men who are considered Aguns, the statistics are dramatically higher for a woman to be an Agunah.
Baila Sebrow is an acclaimed journalist, inspirational international speaker, and 5TJT columnist who hosted numerous radio and Cable TV shows, including Insight/Israel. Baila is also an educator, and active on many human rights and political causes. Baila is the Founder and President of Neshoma Advocates, Inc., servicing children and families at-risk. She is also a world renowned matchmaker and relationship coach, and president of Baila Sebrow Events, LLC. She has been been featured in various publications, including The New York Times.
This is one of several organizations in our community that formed to address a serious problem. If all they did was to tackle their mission according to Halacha and the dictates of mainstream poskim, all might be okay. But they veer quite dramatically away from that mission. The sheer volume of chilul Hashem generated by their activities is stunning. No, this not a defense for get refusers. Let them burn. But the avenue of public destruction is not okay. The broadcasting of falsehoods is not okay. The trampling on the halachos of get me’usa is not okay.
There are other organizations that have devolved from holy tasks to feminist agendas that seek to punish men, often quite innocent. They advocate and support falsely accusing men of abuse, whether domestic violence or against the children. These men then suffer for nothing that has truth. But the organizations support this in various ways. The original missions were needed and precious. The current status is alarming.
At least 50% of the time the woman is not an AGUNA she is a MOREDES and entitled to nothing. Learn some Halacha.
How about the men who sit five plus years, after their wives abandon them?
Many times these women have a strong support system and the children also get drawn into this mess along with them.
These men are stuck and lonely, broken and sad.
No one cares about them.
I don’t currently have kids but in matters of divorce, I would want to have the right to see my kids and not pay 5x minimum wage for that.
I was previously divorced, i can honestly understand why men would withhold a get in order to get the correct visitation and and financial commitments. I have been suffering for years from my ex because I chose not to fight.
How should the man willingly give a gett when he is sitting in jail because of a false domestic violence charge?
In most Agunah cases, ostracism by ALL local Rabbonim would compel a Get. Problem is that we have such negligence and corruption amongst so many Dayanim and Rabbonim.. Remember the Get Meuseh ( beating the husband arranged by a Rabbi who was sent to prison)? Well the head of the Bais Din in Queens was accused by the FBI (Yikes R’L) of referring cases routinely to this scoundrel, who beat men but also represented men who were refusing to issue a Get (if they hired and paid him). Batei Din canNOT be privately owned and operated for profit!
you cannot marry a divorcee . Because most of the gittin are possul.
As another commenter mentioned, this “Modern Orthodox” (meaning idolatrous) organization generates quite the volume of chilul Hashem by their activities.
Some of their problems are:
The chains don’t exist , and are in the imagination , at least in modern times . The woman chooses to follow Halacha, but doesn’t have to .