R’ Gershon Barnet disscuses the Shidduch Crisis with Rav Elya Ber Wachtfogel shlita, who presents a workable solution.
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Rav Wachtfogel is the Rosh Yeshiva of the Yeshiva of South Fallsburg, one of the most prestigious Yeshivos in teh United States. The ideas he presents in this video involve various tweaks or suggestions as to how adjust the dating ages to help minimize the crisis we are currently experiencing.
Also see www.LemaanBnosYisroel.com
There is an additional problem that is not being discussed.
That is
The girls are taught in school that the ideal is to marry a boy who sits and learns.
Not all boys, even Yirat Shamayim, are not cut out for learning
Many good boys are out there.
Working boys.
Yes, most of have regular cell phones for work.
They daven.
They are honest.
As they grow older, they will be the donors to build and expand Shuls and Yeshivahs, their money is kosher.
BUT G-D FORBID U TAKE THEM FOR YOUR DAUGHTERS!!!
SHAME ON YOU !!!
LET THESE BOCHURIM STAY SINGLE A D WORK AND GIVE THEIR MONEY SO YOU CAN SIT AND LEARN IN PEACE AND YOU ALLOW THEM TO DIE A LONELY SINGLE DEATH.
ALL U WANT IS THEIR MONEY!!!!!!!!
AND U THINK U R RIGHTEOUS AND HOLY???
That’s gonna be a big surprise for you.
You blew it.
Now let’s see if VIN is willing to print this.
The only feasible way to implement R Elya Ber’s idea would be for BMG to make a rule that they won’t accept new bochurim older then 22.
This video is from last December.
Looks like the Rosh Yeshiva is saying that all this talk about bochrim not being ‘mature enough’ is b***.
Rav Elya Ber is a True Adam Gadol…. How can we all sit on the sidelines when a crises which was “man made” by our Litvish community is wreaking havoc on the Bnos Yisrael. The Poskim spent sleepless nights and didn’t daven with a minyan to be Mattir one Aguna. We have thousands of devout Bnos Yisrael suffering and in pain……..
As Rav Elya Ber stated clearly, the Bochurim have to start Shidduchim younger. Additionally although it’s a small part of the problem the Freezer has to be removed. It was started 25 years ago with good intentions, but it must be rescinded.
The olam hayeshivos is not led by any one godol or manhig, there is no one with the power to make big changes a few examples How many fallsburg boys are dating by 21,? rav elya ber holds of getting married young for kedusha reasons. Rav shach tried guiding a derech halimud Did any litvish yeshiva adopt it. Rav moshe has 14 fat volumes of dibros, untouched in olam hayeshivos. Reb chaim had many suggestions….un gornisht.. the tzar is big..hosheeva shoftainu
Changes must be made period!! one can try ad put forth theories how this spiraled out of control but the fact is there are a few thousand Litvish older girls unmarried in the United States only not in Israel. My Rav who studies these disturbing trends told me that if the BMG Freezer would be eliminated, it would alleviate close to 25% of the problem. So why don’t they just make the change. Eventually when people realize the freezer is only 25 years ago and should never have been institiuted they will have to change it anyway.
the problem isnt Reb Elya who is a bona fide adam gadol the problem is all these new minor roshei yeshiva who want to have these vulnerable boys by them for years with ZERO chance of parnossa except a shver who embezzles from nursing homes or real estate
This is a scandal of epic proportions!! We are literally standing on the sidelines while thousands of our sisters are suffering in such a horrible way!!
We need to have an option for boys who wish to opt out of the freezer.
לא תעמוד על דם רעיך
The problem is far more profound and fundamental than the disparity between when boys and girls start to date. A significant contributing factor is the grossly restrictive dating mindset that has insidiously permeated the contemporary frum society, namely, the ridiculous strict categorisation of boys. The one year learner, three year, five year, ten year, or learner earner, earner kovea ittim and so on. Many girls are programmed to choose a category to the exclusion of others. It used to be you either dated a boy going into chinuch or a boy going into a profession/business. That’s it. There was a broader range of boys that girls dated. The ridiculous self imposed categorisation of boys sacrifices the personal internal value of a boy in favor of externalities that in the long run have no bearing on compatibility, ultimate marriage and successfully establishing a household with Torah values.
R’EB ” Der Aibeshter Can’t Help because it’s mathematics” ! How about kollel checks? A family of 8 needs $150,000 a year to live…over there “der Aibeshter Vet Helfen all day long!!!!?????
With respect, anti-vaxxers quote him as saying it is ossur to get vaccinated.
Gary Barnett aka Gershon savitsky aka Gershon Barnett Google any 3
the only way to institute the Rosh Yeshiva’s idea would have to be for BMG to make a cut-off age for bachurim to apply
triumphinwhitehouse
How come countless message of yours on VIN comes with 1 attack or another of this group or that person – and you have no qualms about naming people while you remain anonymous??
Can you not find something positive to say…
Let boys & girls talk to each like the old days. Meet in college , in the library , at a wedding , at a kiddush. The chumra bands killed all this and many shadchans abetted it . It’s a scandal .
Age-gap theory = 100% unadulterated kefira!
Men always married younger women it’s a metzias does anyone have numbers on how many 25+ single girls exist in Lakewood alone I surmise 100 at most