Personal Letter from MYEF mom

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Greetings dear reader, 

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I was asked to write a letter about an incredible organization in Flatbush and to share with you what it’s like to be a single mom. 

First, I’m a “regular” girl, a great family boruch Hashem and like you, never in a million years thought I’d get divorced. Not that anyone does 😉 

But for some of us in the community, Hashem had other ideas in mind and we are divorced. Unfortunately, there are more divorces today than 10 years ago, but there’s still that stigma of “oh yeah, nebach she’s divorced.” 

If you’ve never been a single parent, it’s really hard to appreciate the financial strain, the guilt and the loneliness. But the hardest part by far is making sure your kids are ok. 

Can you imagine for a moment what it would feel like if your son, between sobs, says to you “I don’t want to go shul ever again, I have no one to sit next to.” 

I know these are words on paper, but if you can feel them for a moment, you will have some insight into the life of a single mother. Everyone wants their kids to have everything they need and not being able to provide them with something, hurts. Especially when it’s something as important as this. The pain is so deep and it’s a pain that you carry around with you all the time. 

About ten years ago, a single mom like myself was going through these very challenges and decided to change the status quo. She approached Rabbi & Mrs. Vigler of Mayon Yisroel in Flatbush and together they founded My Extended Family, an organization focused on the wellbeing of kids from single parent homes. 

I had heard about the organization but was hesitant to put my kids in the program. When you’ve been through a divorce anything related to your kids requires so much thought. It took about two years to decide to send them. 

I really don’t have enough words to properly articulate the positive impact it has had on my kids and us as a family. Yes, they were timid for the first couple weeks, but now they can’t wait to go. Literally every week they come back with smiles on their faces. 

I think they almost got it right with the name “extended family”, for us they feel like an actual family. 

I once read a line that said “it’s easier to raise healthy children than to repair broken men.” This is so true and My Extended Family was created so that single parents like myself can raise healthy kinderlach.

If Hashem benched you with the ability to give tzedakah, know that you are literally changing these kids’ lives. Nothing less. 

If you’re a single parent and are wondering about this program, I can tell you with complete confidence this is beyond right for you. The only question you will be asking yourself is why didn’t I enroll my kids sooner. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this. 

Why am I telling you this now? Because their annual fundraising campaign is now and they asked if any single moms would share what their experience has been. I’m sure there are hundreds of single mothers who have kids in the program who could have written a very similar letter. 

To view their campaign and to help make a real difference in the kids lives, please go to their website and you can see everything there betheirlight.org 

With berachos to all, 

-Devora 

A very grateful single mom

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