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I’m wondering if it’s a good thing to have yeshiva students sell raffle tickets for their yeshivas? Especially in the younger grades?
It seems to me that it creates an unhealthy pressure on the kids and can even be traumatic.
Let me explain. Selling raffle tickets is, essentially, asking people for money. Most people are not interested in entering the raffle, they just want to help out and give Tzedaka (to their credit!).
So we are asking the child to do fundraising, which is not very pleasant, even for professionals.
These days most of us are constantly bombarded with tzedaka campaigns. I think it makes kids feel uncomfortable to ask people to buy raffle tickets. And it seems to me, that it starts at a very young age, even 3rd and 4th grade!
In addition, there is a lot of competition among the kids. There are class prizes and other incentives, based on performance. Some children are more outgoing and less shy, so they will raise more money, and win prizes, while other kids are shy, and will lose out and feel like failures, even though they did not do anything wrong.
Also, some kids may have parents or family members with the means to help get them “over the top” while others do not.
Bottom line, it seems to me that turning our children into fundraisers can be harmful, and creates unnecessary stress. I’m not judging or bashing the yeshivas that do this, I realize that I may be missing something, but I’m simply questioning if the yeshivas are sure that it is not unhealthy.
I’m coming to the defense of innocent, fragile children–whose emotional health is the highest priority.
-A concerned (and shy) parent
While we’re at it, the daf recently discussed donations that may not be taken from wives since the husband wouldn’t approve it’s gezel. I’m always finding in our mail solicitations mailed just to my wife and I don’t like it as I feel she needs joint consent with me and it feels to me like mosdos sneaking behind my back. I’m out busting my chops all day (using my break time here) as sole breadwinner. I’m generous with tzedaka and carefully select my beneficiaries. For example, a mailing arrived from a boys school I didn’t want to donate to, so I trashed it. I later see a $75 credit card charge to the school and my wife said they called, she answered and donated. From my perspective that’s gezel.
the who shnorerie via phone calls texting whats apping etc is out of control
Well written letter and I agree 100%
This has been going on for decades( remember the pushkes?) and it’s wrong. I was uncomfortable and ashamed collecting , especially from friends and family. It’s wrong, period.
I give tzedokoh quite beyond my means, so this is not about me being stingy at all. The kids collecting has gotten so far out of hand that I can picture the Satmar Rebbe banning it.
1) Has any yeshiva taught their collecting kids simple rules about how to conduct themselves?
2) Are the kids taught to daven or just to collect?
3) Do the kids know when to refrain from their collecting – such as during davening or megillah reading?
4) Are the kids guided to be happy with whatever they are given, so they do not noodge for more?
5) Do these kids know that when someone is walking down the street, laden with packages, taking care of kids, etc., to not bother him for money?
There are numerous other issues here. Are kids being taught from very young ages that someone else’s money should be given to them? This pattern of dependency is being fed to them at vulnerable ages. This is clearly NOT the path that the Torah wants. This is NOT the minimal collecting of tzedokoh that tzaddikim encouraged.
Do the kids themselves have access to the money? If yes, they can give change when requested, but that also reduces the chance that money arrives at its intended destination.
If there are incentives, one might think it’s nice, but it encourages competitiveness, greed, and can even divert the kids from fulfilling the mitzvos of the day – Megillah, Matanos lo’evyonim. Mishloach manos, and Seuda. I’ve known quite a few bochurim that fulfilled only Megillah, being too busy with their collecting to be yotzeh.
How many kids collect, just because it’s the thing to do, without a target tzedokoh cause? This is also rampant, and is problematic. How many kids just expect to be showered with money from everyone just because it’s Purim?
The only tzedokoh that has any special rfeference to Purim is Matanos lo’evyonim. All other causes might be wonderful mitzvos, but are unrelated to Purim. Giving money to yeshivos and numerous organizations is quite beautiful. But it is not a greater mitzvoh on Purim than any other day of the year.
Raffle tickets are not an issue. It gives kids an accomplished feeling when they sell.
I do though have an issue when Mesivtas/BM having the yeshiva bochrim added to the Charidy campaigns; then its a real pressure. The ones that aren’t from connected families are left out (to no fault of their own).
Recently a young girl came collecting for a Jewish cause. My wife was a little surprised, caught off guard and gave her a handful of coins. Around ten minutes later the girl came back because one of the coins was foreign. The mouth that that girl opened made it clear that the system is broken and no mosad that girl attended deserved any tzedaka.
Perhaps a better idea. Instead of having children collecting, let them help families prepare for Shabbos or Yom Tov. The concept of work would benefit the children. It would give them a feeling of accomplishment. Give them a work ethic. Girls could baby sit for several hours so the mothers can clean and turn the money over to the school. The boys could also help by cleaning and scrubbing. A work ethic that everything is not free handout.
Satmar Rebba believed we should teach from a young age the kids to collect money for others, the richest man in satmar getzil Berger from london famously collected erev Yom Kippur every year, moshe Goldstein from BH photo used to go for many years collecting dollars every night by chasunas
I think it’s dangerous to encourage kids to talk to strangers.
I agree. It is too much pressure on kids whose parents, or family, can’t afford to buy all raffles from them. It’s not healthy today’s days to allow kids to ask for money from strangers.
my parents told me 200 days a year you take and take from your yeshiva and rabbeim , one or 2 days a yr u get a chance to give back a little , everything with measure … and if a kid cant nothing happens one of my kids refused to go in a group as much as i encouraged him and nothing happens
It sounds like the author doesn’t have any boys in school. The kids don’t feel pressured at all and look forward to it. Personally, my kids are very shy and this helps them come out of their shell a bit. Noone in shul minds the kids standing by the door with a pushka either.
There are many things in today’s society which cause unnecessary pressure, but this isn’t one of them. Maybe the author should have found something else to write about. It’s beautiful watching children performing mitzvos and enjoy doing it.
Emotionally fragile children can have other chances to shine.
This is a great opportunity for the loud kids (who often have other challenges in school, especially behavioral) to get positive recognition.
Additionally it teaches children in real time the importance of tzedakah and giving money to the mosdos.
Lots of win wins all the way around.
It’s ok, if your child isn’t the type and wants to sit out this activity. They can shine at something else a different time.
If you don’t want them to feel like a failure- that is on you the parent to give them a different opportunity.