JERUSALEM (VINnews) — An interesting and surprising Psak was published in the name of Rabbi Yitzchak Zilberstein in the weekly Divrei Chemed magazine which presents his Torah thoughts and rulings.
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Rabbi Zilberstein referred to the current custom abroad of sitting during a chupah, men and women on either side, a custom which is not prevalent in Israel where generally everyone stands at the chupah.
The question was asked by a person who had immigrated from abroad and whose daughter was marrying someone from Chutz Laaretz. The family preferred to continue their custom from abroad of sitting at the chupah, but asked whether this was considered a diversion from the Minhag in Israel.
Rabbi Zilberstein demonstrated based on several sources that the Minhag to stand has a basis in Rishonim. He quoted Orchos Chaim who says that a Chasan is like a king and therefore all must stand before him, and additionally the chupah is like Matan Torah and therefore people should stand.
Rabbi Shlomo Kluger quotes the Tikkunei Zohar which stressed that the whole crowd must stand with the Chasan and Kallah when Sheva Brachos are recited.
After citing other sources, Rabbi Zilberstein concludes that “The custom is to stand and the discussion was the reason for this. The minhag is to stand and this was the custom in all places, except in some communities in the US who changed this, but not for halachic reasons, and the poskim discussed the reason for this change from custom.
“Therefore even for residents of Chutz La’aretz who sit for reasons which are not halachic, whoever can change this custom will be blessed. Certainly in Israel one should not sit and one shouldn’t innovate customs which are not halachic, and in truth we should uphold the ancient custom in all Jewish communities to stand at the chupah.”
With all due respect, R. Zilberstein is not the posek for America, and unlike his late father-in-law, has not been referred to as “posek hador”. Without seeing exactly what he said (not just a partial report as seen here) I can’t fully evaluate his arguments and stance. However, it must be noted that there are choshuve rabbonim who have expressed support for the minhag to sit by a chupah. There is solid basis for it, and an internet post at a news site does not and cannot overrule long-standing practice. Those that have a mesorah stick to it.
I have personally seen a number of past accepted senior litvisha gedolim in America sit throughout the chuppah and even when the cosson and Killah walked down and heard one make the comment that standing for the cosson and kallah was a minhag shtus.
Very very very difficult to make a comment, number one because I don’t even come up to his toenails, number two because we only get a little tiny snippet, the headline is one can say, rather than seeing the entire thing.
I will say that the issue has been discussed in the USA by various gedolim including Rabbi Reisman whom I definitely remember him mentioning it in a novi shiur. He discussed why people stand up when the chosson or kalla walking and why they’re standing up for the wrong reason, they’re standing up because they want to look instead of standing up out of respect for them.
Every Gadol I’ve ever seen sits at a chuppa just like everyone else.
He Paskened it?
Lets see the “Psak” directly from him.
also the getting when the Chosson and Kallah walk down is a relatively new business as well.
R Yaakov Kamenetksy didn’t do it since they don’t yet have a din of Chosson and Kallah.
It’s a beautiful idea. That said, usually guests stand only when the chosson, kallah are walked in and then sit. Effectively, we DO stand for the king and queen. Having attended hundreds of weddings , I never saw standees during the entire chupah, so it’s an interesting topic.
The source for standing when the Chosson and Kallah come in is based on the Mishna in Bikurim 3:3 where everyone stood up for those bringing their Bikurim into Yerushalayim. See the Bartenura who explains that we stand for someone who is on his way to do a Mitzva, such as a baby being brought in to his Bris.
Standing during the entire Chuppah is a separate discussion. Perhaps it is out of respect for the Mitzva itself. I suspect the American custom to sit comes from non-Jewish paractices.
It’s easier to look at your phone when you are sitting.
Well, most likely , the reason in USA & some other countries : sitting down is so common , because : just the GOYIM are doing so , naturally the AISLE WALKING family members , especially the sister girls are exactly what the GOYIM do . BTW. I am NOT condoning it , because some people claim that even the bride s long white GOWN are initially from European GOYIM as well . I am not a POISEK .
In the past, the prevalent minhag everywhere was that the Chupa would be outside in the street and of course everyone would stand since chairs were not setup. But now that most chasunas in America (and many in e”y) are held in a special wedding hall indoors (with an opening over the chupa), chairs are setup and the wedding ceremony is much more formal, quiet and orderly. I’ve been to weddings outside in the street with people standing around, mulling about and shivering in the cold. The contemporary minhag of formal seating is far superior and not only should be maintained, but should be adopted everywhere!
BTW. The bride s long white gown is only extremely common for all European & USA s brides NOWADAYS .
The headline doesn’t really seem to reflect the psak. He said “whoever can change the custom would be blessed”. That doesn’t mean individuals who are at a wedding where the custom is to sit “should stand”, as the headline implies.