READ: Rabbi Bender Suggests That Parents Should Not Meet In Person With Tuition Committee Due to Embarrassment

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(VINnews) — Rabbi Yaakov Bender, Rosh Yeshiva of Darchei Torah in Far Rockaway, has written part 2 of a column addressing the extremely challenging tuition crisis. Writing in the Monsey Mevaser, Rabbi Bender responded to a parent who described a highly unpleasant experience, begging for a tuition break.

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The parent wrote the following:

“We have the unfortunate pleasure of having to expose our private financial
situation and we also get to undergo a humiliating and degrading process and beg for scholarships with five different administrations and tuition committees. None of them seem to care about how or what we arrange with the others, each of them wants only for themselves.

“For instance, when I tell them that the total dollars I can pay for all of my tuitions is x and I would like to divide that equally per child, I am told “no way” and that they can only worry about their bottom line and I will have to deal with the other schools however I’d like to. (Does my obligation of Talmud Torah for my boys means yeshivos deserve more than Bais Yaakovs?)

At one point the parent also wrote:

“One board member of a school (who serves on the board of another school as well) actually told us that choosing their school is like buying a Lexus and if you want the best, you will have to

“One school set up appointments for all those who wanted scholarships to come the same night, causing the parents to be embarrassed sitting together in a waiting room. Sadly, there are more stories like these.

“What should the schools do? Is there an answer? Who can parents go to if they feel hurt by how the school treats them? Please help. Please offer ideas and suggestions on what can be done on a community level and what can or should be done on a personal level.”

Again, Rabbi Bender responded with great empathy, and emphasized that in his yeshiva and his community, parents are treated with respect, dignity, and a great deal of compassion.

The Rosh Yeshiva’s response read, in part:

There is no excuse for some of the horror stories mentioned. In our neighborhood, the schools compete for students and dollars just like everywhere else, but the directors of all the schools meet every once in a while. There are not usually major policy issues to be ironed out. That’s not the point-though the give and take is often enlightening. The point is that the directors are on a first name, cordial basis with each other; and it often happens that one will pick up the phone and call his counterpart to work out jointly a tuition package for the needy family.

The Rosh Yeshiva also wrote:

“Allowing applicants to meet each other should be anathema to any school administration with a modicum of decency. Best would be not having to meet at all. There is bound to be embarrassment in the presence of the committee members, irrespective of other applicants. We have found it more productive at first with specific questions posed over the phone. A meeting is a last resort…”

Read the full question and answer here.

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26 Comments
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No money
No money
1 month ago

There’s not enough money. It’ll only get worse we need vouchers

Educated Archy
Educated Archy
1 month ago

We need more fairness too. Committee should be looking at net revenue and not just your income. In other words what are your key expenses too ? Do you receive hud wic snap and Medicaid then you don’t have health food and living expenses. How about if you already get free tuitions else where ? Free chal hamoed trips ? You have less expenses . Contrast that to someone else who may bring in more income but has many more expenses. You should pay more tuition then. It’s simple math. Count net inflows minus outflows.

Steve Mayerson
Steve Mayerson
1 month ago

Schools should also know their parents enough so that when one unfortunately comes on hard times when for many years there was never a discussion about paying less than full tuition, schools should lend a little more sympathetic ear. For very many years I never asked for a break despite it being hard but when I finally was under too much pressure, I was told very clearly that I would have to go in front of a group of people that were many years my junior and talk to them.

Max
Max
1 month ago

There is another major problem Besides actual שכר לימוד there are many other misc. items – school supplies, bldg fund etc
When they and you come up with a tuition figure which is your “cap” of affordability,; whereas the parents mean TOTAL Outlay with their figure, rhe tuition committee consider that ONLY as the שכר לימוד —- and that difference can add over a thousand dollars very often The committees MUST (WANT) TO UNDERSTAND THAT rhe figures rhe oarents say that they can give is the SUM Total — REGARDLESS WHAT LABEL TOU CALL THE “EXTRAS”

Elephant
Elephant
1 month ago

If the yiden take over the public schools its much better we are talking in areas where there are mostly yiden

Elephant
Elephant
1 month ago

In upstate areas the public schools should be taken over by the local residents which pay school taxes. In Europe before the war everyone went to public schools and most came out very strong in Yiddishkeit. The problem is that every few people want their own moised.