JERUSALEM (VINnews) — Freed hostage Sasha Tropanov revealed new details for the first time about his time in captivity in Gaza and described how he managed to endure it.
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“I had almost no control over anything,” he said in an extensive interview with journalist Mendy Kortes in the ‘Derech Emunah’ Pesach supplement of the Kfar Chabad Weekly. “Many times my life was in danger and I was in a low place. I could have given in to depression and sunk, been overwhelmed by negative emotions. But what happened in practice was that right before I would fall, something specific would happen that pulled me back up.
“And I mean even simple things. For example, a day when I was really hungry and desperate for food, and had no control over that, and then suddenly later that day, food arrived that was relatively okay. By ‘okay food’ I mean food that doesn’t leave you hungry afterward. It could be beans or tomatoes and onions, or a lot of rice. It’s not a proper meal, but food that at least makes you feel full.”
In the same interview, he shared candidly how he “discovered G-d in Gaza.” According to him, “Many times, things happened that got me upset because I wanted something and couldn’t do it, and then something else happened that lifted my spirits. I came to understand that things were happening beyond my control, and that they were affecting me. This happened to me a lot, and that’s how I came to believe in G-d—and understood that not everything depends on me.”
As for why he agreed to be interviewed for the first time, he summarized it simply:
“I want people to thank G-d for what they have. I want whoever reads my words to feel positive about their own lives. When someone feels good in their heart, it radiates to others, to their surroundings. It shines.”
He also revealed how he learned Arabic during captivity:
“During the kidnapping, I was shot in the leg. I’m sure anyone who’s been shot would cry about it and say, ‘How terrible and bitter my fate is.’ And I’ll tell you: it’s really unpleasant… the bullet shattered my bone, it was a compound fracture. I was treated there in Gaza. But because of that, good things happened.”
“To start with, the reason they didn’t tie me up is because I was completely broken at first. I had a stab wound in the shoulder, an open head wound, and gunshot wounds in my legs. Later my shoulder was dislocated too. Luckily, that led them to treat me more gently. It wasn’t supposed to be that way. They thought I was a soldier. At the time I was more muscular, stronger. I’ve always loved fitness. They thought I was a commando, like Rambo, and naturally should be restrained. But because of the injury, they didn’t tie me up. But that was just the first part.”
“Later they transferred me to a medical center for treatment. There was no other choice. But that took a bit of time. Eventually, I was moved for treatment, and after it ended, they planned to return me to the same place I had been. But something went wrong, and they temporarily moved me to a different location in Gaza. At that place, there was a new terrorist who spoke English. Thanks to that, I learned Arabic. I would ask him the Arabic word for different things in English, and learned from him. Slowly I developed a basic vocabulary that let me communicate in Arabic and develop the language. In captivity, your mind works fast. You learn languages instantly—click—your brain is on 200.”
“For about 40 days I was in the new location with the English speaker. After that, I was moved again, and from then almost until the end of captivity, I didn’t meet anyone else who spoke English like he did. I was lucky to meet him. And that happened because I was shot in the leg.”
He also shared what his first moments in Gaza were like:
“These are the moments I remember most clearly. The moments when the realization of where I was hit me. The change from the life I was used to was total. From the smell in Gaza to the inhumane conditions I was placed in. I was kidnapped alone and beaten during the abduction. I arrived physically bruised and broken.”
“They brought me at first to a house, which was actually a shack. The people there were so different from anyone I was used to seeing. Over time, I understood where I was. The food in the first few days was relatively okay, but quickly turned into just one meal a day. It took time to get used to having none of the comforts I was used to, having to ask permission for everything. Even to go to the bathroom I needed approval. Sleeping hours were not mine to decide. It was like prison—only much worse.”
“I realized I had to remember that I’m a free person, and I had to try and find freedom in the places where I did have choice. I would play with the food I received. I’d eat part and save part for later. Even if it wasn’t much. That gave me the feeling that I was the one making the decisions. I tried to turn lack of choice into choice.”
This Pesach, Tropanov will celebrate with his family in Moscow.
“We’re celebrating in the best place—hosted by Rabbi Berel Lazar, the Chief Rabbi. He invited the whole family and wants us to come. I’ve never celebrated a real holiday. Never. I think this will be my first proper Seder, and honestly, it’s very emotional for me.”
“I think it’s a meaningful milestone. Passover marks the Exodus from Egypt. I didn’t come out of Egypt, I wasn’t a slave. I was a hostage—I don’t even know what to call it. But it’s definitely a holiday that symbolizes freedom and the ability to choose and focus on things that are yours and not someone else’s. And here I am, able to choose for myself where to celebrate this year, and with whom I’ll celebrate.”
“And at the same time, this holiday will symbolize for me all those who still aren’t here. Even though I’ve gained my freedom, in some way I still feel chained, not physically, but emotionally, to that place. I think anyone would understand that if their friend was still in captivity.”
About Rabbi Lazar, he said:
“When I saw Rabbi Lazar, what stood out most was his kind heart. It’s very present—it radiates from him. He’s a very pleasant and warm person and not afraid of tough questions. When he put tefillin on me, I asked him many questions about them, and he answered me and said it’s good that I ask and show interest. That really struck me—until then I thought that charedi people don’t like to be questioned. I thought religion was all about avoiding questions and just believing. I thought that the more religious someone is, the less they tolerate different views. But with Rabbi Lazar, it was the exact opposite. I received so much warmth and love.”
