New York – The advent of Pesach brings feelings of joy, celebration and togetherness. But for those struggling with drug and alcohol addiction, seder night brings with it unwanted temptation.
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“When it comes to seders, everybody thinks of the four cups of wine drunk during the service,” said Rabbi Yosef Lipsker, a Chabad rabbi and a consultant at the Caron Treatment Center for Substance Abuse and Chemical Addiction. “But we said, ‘Listen, we’re going to have you at the seder, but you’re going to have four cups of grape juice instead.”
The idea for so-called sober seders began in 2000, and this year, sober seders will be held in Miami, Montreal, Philadelphia, Detroit, Los Angeles, and London, according to a report by the JTA (http://bit.ly/144OoQh).
Those who attend sober seders say that drinking grape juice in lieu of wine does not take away from the seder experience. “It was great,” said Ricky, a 56-year-old recovering addict from Montreal, of his first sober seder. “Before and after the seder we sit around and talk. Many of us know each others’ stories by now. For the newcomer coming to the sober seder, there’s a belonging. It’s a celebration rather than a regular AA meeting.”
Rabbi Yisrael Pinson, who runs the Jewish Recovery Center in Detroit said, “Jewish law says everyone has to drink wine during the seder. But for an alcoholic, it’s a danger of death.” Rabbi Pinson cites the Jewish principle of “pikuach nefesh” as the justification for skipping the wine at the sedarim.
“We ask people who attend the seder, ‘What is your personal story of freedom? How did you break free from the shackles of addicition?’” Pinson said. “Obviously, we read the Haggadah. But we also talk about where we are in life. It’s fresh on their minds. They feel the wounds.”
Grape Juice anyone?
One of the issues “Recovering Addicts” cope with is that they where never accepted by family and society “as is” in other words they didn’t fit in! Further isolating them is not the solution! They should be accepted at the table like all others atleast by the seder when we say “כל דכפין וכל דצריך ייתי” Most families have and use grape juice for the seder for kids, and many adults too.
Kudos to Chabad and anyone else involved
On a related issue, unfortunately many people on medications that lose their effectiveness when even small quantities of alcohol are consumed underestimate the problem.
Considering how many Americans are being treated with antidepressants, ‘dry’ sedorim should be nothing new.
Sounds nice actually, people might actually stay awake through nirtza, imagine that!
The chiddush of a sober seder isn’t about a “novel new idea” of drinking grape juice instead of wine, but rather about feeling welcome, comfortable, and truly free. not only from your newfound freedom from your addiction, but also the freedom from keeping the secret of your past addiction pent up; precisely because of the stigma you mentioned of being an addict and the fear (and reality) of not “fitting in”-not being treated as an equal. And even if they were accepted as equals which is a very hard feat to accomplish because of the general ignorance surrounding this problem, it is still very hard to come to the same level of respect, and understanding that these people have for each other. Before commenting on the usefulness, and nessecity of these sedorim I suggest you experience one for yourself-as i have, and you will see what a meaningful seder should really look like; every word,every moment, and every person cherished.