JERUSALEM (VINnews) — A 12-year-old pupil at a haredi school in Ashkelon was suspended from her studies after the school claimed that her Bat Mitzvah celebration had violated school policy. According to Kan News, the school administration has not allowed the girl, whose name is Hadar, to return to class for nearly two weeks.
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Hadar’s mother told the news outlet that the event was organized per the school’s strict code, with strict kosher supervision and a female photographer, DJ, and waitresses. She says the trouble began in the middle of the event when her friends began to leave early. “During the party, there was a commotion because the party was supposed to end at 9:30 PM. I explained the problem to the assistant principal, stating that I had invited people for a specific time and couldn’t change it. The whole point of having a party for only girls is so her classmates could come.”
Hadar recounted, “I was sad, I cried, I told my friends the principal wouldn’t do anything, don’t worry, stay. Some said, ‘You’re right,’ they stayed, and some left.”
Two days later, Hadar, a sixth grader at the Netzach Israel school in Ashkelon, received a letter notifying her that she would not return to class until her mother signed a letter admitting that she was wrong. According to the school, the party took place in a hall and not in a shul, it continued past the accepted time, the songs played at the event were not from the approved list, and several male relatives, including Hadar’s father and grandfather, were present.
אולם רגיל ולא בית כנסת והאבא והסבא השתתפו: בת 12 חגגה בת מצווה לא לפי כללי ביה”ס באשקלון – ולא הורשתה להיכנס לכיתה@Itsik_zuarets #חדשותהערב pic.twitter.com/53I5D5RmXH
— כאן חדשות (@kann_news) June 25, 2023
The school’s principal claims that “the girl’s mother keeps refusing to sign the letter she received after she violated several articles of the school’s code.” Hadar claims that it’s not her fault her mother and the school refuse to agree on an apology for her Bat Mitzvah event- and just wants to rejoin her friends in school.
The Ashkelon Municipality stated in response: “It was made clear to the student’s mother that she can return to school, but she chose not to.”
Sounds like both sides have issues and the girl is suffering because of idiotic adults.
According to both Reb Aaron Leib and Reb Chaim Zatzal, this was the wrong answer. They were always against suspending or throwing children out of school. reb Aaron Leib even blamed a rosh yeshiva in Eretz Yisroel for a talmid bringing shmutz into the yeshiva.
It is shocking to see so many commenters supporting the school here.
Pointless rules are not harmless. They are not ‘rights’ of the school. They are downright dangerous. They push people away from Yiddishkeit and make people resent their lives, their parents and their teachers.
If you want children to grow up with a healthy respect for authority, don’t abuse authority.
Normally, you don’t follow the rules, this is what happens, people can’t expect to send their kids to a Chareidi school and do whatever they want. מנהג המקום. It’s just really sad because in Ashkelon there’s next to no frum schools, so kicking a girl out is a really big deal, as she really might not have anywhere else to go.
Rules don’t always make sense, and some schools make this one look fair by comparison. Nonetheless, the mother should have said, yes, I broke some rules, I apologize, I want my daughter to continue in school. Using her daughter as the means to fight the system won’t help the child. For high school, find a better fit.
I hear both sides but the punishment should be a fine not expelling which is too severe and causes hatred towards the school.
Blu Greenberg said:
“When I was growing up in the 1940s and 1950s, even the word Bat Mitzvah was off-limits in Orthodoxy, signaling the celebrant as Reform or Conservative.”
Rabbi Moshe Feinstein ZTL ZYA said this in his
Igrot Moshe on Orach Chaim, Siman 1, Sif 104:
It is permitted to hold a Bat Mitzvah celebration in a home or hall, but not in a synagogue.
“There is no source for such a celebration in our history… The use of the synagogue sanctuary for a Bat Mitzvah ceremony is forbidden by Jewish Law…
The Sanctuary may be used only for sacred purposes.
Since Bat Mitzvah rituals have no liturgical basis, the use of the synagogue Sanctuary for such purposes is a violation of the sanctity of the synagogue.”
Harav Moshe Feinstein Zatzal wrote that a Bas Mitzva celebration should not be held in a shul
Ari L.Goldman published an article in The New York Times on March 19, 1992, on page B1, about Judith Kaplan Eisenstein, who became the first woman in history to undergo the Bat Mitzvah ceremony, in 1922 CE.
According to this article, the Bat Mitzvah ceremony was originally invented by Reconstructionist Judaism.
NOTE: Reconstructionist “Judaism” claims that the Torah is NOT from G_D!
Of course the story is evoking tons of sympathy for the girl who is the real victim. But the school has clear guidelines regarding how a bas mitzvah can be celebrated. The family can’t flout the rules and then cry foul when faced with the consequences. There are valid reasons for halving school rules, especially when they are in place to ensure fairness, equality and adherence to values the school holds important.
Debra Nussbaum Cohen of the Jewish Telegraphic Agency published an obituary article about Judith Kaplan Eisenstein [the first woman in history to undergo the Bat Mitzvah ceremony] on February 23, 1996, stating that at the time of her death at age 86, she had *** ONE *** grandchild.
It seems to me that the “thumbs up/down” display, which shows the “thumbs up” minus the “thumbs down,” not serve much purpose. A figure of 1 does not show whether 1 person voted thumbs up, or 1000 people voted thumbs up and 999 voted thumbs down. I would suggest replacing this display with a percentage display, which would show the overall percentage of “thumbs up” votes. That’s just my opinion.
This is should be a wake up call to send her to a normal school .
They knew of school policy and willfully chose to ignore it.
Sad, the pri couple allowed a way for the girl to attend, but her mother is so stubborn, she won’t sign form acknowledge she was wrong
No one should feel badly about this.
There are some fundamental principles at play here.
Break the rules, pay the fine.
Fight the system if you believe it’s broken.
Don’t use your children as activists, unless thats the lesson you want to teach them. In which case, you are getting what you want.
why is this newsworthy? Broke the school rules, asked for mom’s signature, move on.
The case should immediately go to a Din Torah and both sides must follow their psak. I’m sure the Bais Din would readmit the girl to school and the parents would be required to make some mild statement.
these “rules” are to protect jewish children against jewish simchas? give your head a shake!
Useless information. Why are you displaying this?
No yeshiva should have any right to control what happens when the student is out of school. All the people here who are talking about rules sound like brainwashed robots. The school can encourage students not to attend certain types of parties but they have no right to interfere in anyone’s private life. What this school did to this poor girl was far worse than the alleged infractions that were at her bat mitzvah. They shamed her by giving her 2 weeks suspension and made her a topic of loshon harsh. The Hanhala of the yeshiva have acted disgracefully and they should ask the girl and her family for mechilah.