LAKEWOOD (VINnews) — A prominent Lakewood yeshiva has announced a groundbreaking policy change that may have a massive impact on the yeshiva community and specifically the shidduch crisis.
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Yeshiva Toras Chaim, better known as “Rav Mendel Slomowitz’s Yeshiva”, has abolished fourth year Bais Medrash in its yeshiva, effective Elul Zman.
According to multiple reports, Rav Slomowitz shlit”a made the announcement last week, explaining to bochurim that his rationale is to help mitigate the shidduch crisis.
One frum news site reported that the Rosh Yeshiva broke down in tears over the struggles of girls in shidduchim when making the announcement this past Friday.
According to Lakewood Alerts, the Rosh Yeshiva said in a schmooze: “Being that our yeshivah and its esteemed bochurim do not want to have even an indirect role in the shidduchim calamity that is occurring in our circles, it is time to implement policies to stem and turn the tide and have all bochurim begin shidduchim younger — the way it was until just the last 15–20 years.”
In reference to a concern about boys not being ready to marry at a younger age, Rav Slomowitz reportedly said: “It is well documented that chassidim worldwide and litvish/yeshivish communities in Eretz Yisroel, begin shidduchim younger, yet there is no higher a ratio of divorce rates in those communities. There was also no higher a ratio of divorce rates 15-20 years ago in Lakewood when the current trend and “new” phenomenon to delay the shidduch start date began in many of our yeshivos.
The Rosh Yeshiva expressed his hope that his decision would be a catalyst for other yeshivos to enact similar policies.
Although it is not clear if the Rosh Yeshiva specifically mentioned the “age gap” theory, which has been publicized by the NASI program (and others) as the underlying cause of the crisis, it certainly appears that he believes in it and endorses it.
This past summer, Rav Slomowitz and other Roshei Yeshiva visited Rav Moshe Hillel Hirsch shlit”a, and according to multiple reports, they discussed ways to restructure the yeshiva system in order to help solve the shidduch crisis, and abolishing fourth-year Bais Medrash was one of the suggestions discussed.
The question now is, will other yeshivos announce the same or similar policies? In addition, it is not clear what percentage of bochurim typically remain in America for fourth-year Bais Medrash (prior to this announcement), as many boys leave their yeshivas after third year for Eretz Yisrael.
Also, it is not clear how many boys will return home to start dating earlier as a result of this policy, as opposed to remaining in Eretz Yisrael and starting to date at roughly the same age as they have done until now.
How does this help?, why can’t they be in shidduchim while being in a proper framework of learning?
Marry people your own age. problem solved!
Will one year really make a difference? Please someone, explain.
To those who posted the picture in the article-the sea in Jerusalem?
Then who is going to tell the girls as well as their parents, that they should perhaps do similar and not look for Superman, just someone who is within their means so to speak? What about guiding to allow the younger sisters too begin dating and not necessarily with for the older sibling? Anyone with a have a brain in their head knows that whoever is bashert for the younger one is not for the older one.
Can someone please explain how this will help? This is not a yeshiva in E”Y only having three years and sending the bochrim back to the states to start shidduchim. This is a yeshiva in Lakewood. Ok, so he finished his third year in Toras Chaim, and is not engaged/married yet. What does he do now? Either:
A. go to a different yeshiva
B. learn with chavrusos not in a yeshiva
C. go out to work
D. klutzes all day
What is the fifth choice that magically helped the shidduch crisis?
one point we can agree on ; there are sooooooooooo many normal american yeshiva girls that are not getting married within 3 years out of sem ,
many hardly hear yes’s… its totaly not OK on so many levels –
this is so not the case in other circles ,
shiduchim was never easy but something is dreadfully missing ” hosheeva shofteinu ..
( so money , degrees, looks, unrealistic expectations.. etc is a separate issue, what i mean is that if girls were hearing names and saying no but they not getting to first base , if only rich were getting married ok so gelt…plenty aniyim married , if only very pretty but plenty heavy girls are kallahs and many pretty still around..
yet the chasuna halls are full every night and those getting engaged didnt do anything dif.
DAVEN , i wish my shabbos mincha was half as good as these girls weekday mincha doesnt mean they are tzadekes but in tefila ubakasha they are doing plenty of that
Finally!!! Even if this is not the solution, at least there doing something about it and giving it the proper attention it needs
Hows’ about ..the mother’s stop being so picky , & not thinking that their M’TZuyanim are not such M’TZuyanim ,& stop blaming learning Torah .
The whole thing seems mysterious
Although 1 week left of this horrendous freezer for this year, next year onwards:- Permanently abolish this freezer.
Another idea would be to add another year of seminary. Or they should work for a full year after seminary before starting shidduchim.
It should say significant win for ALL girls of klal Yisroel or all of klal Yisroel.
One little small yeshiva will not make a dent in the alleged shidduch crisis. 90% of bachurim coming back from Eretz yisroel go to BMG.
He’s heartfelt. He’s a doer. Kudos to him. Sadly, this will change nothing. BTW, what is the incentive for American bochrim enjoying EY to return home sooner?
Not every bochur goes to Eretz Yisroel. Will there be an exception for them?
neither did the Gemara, or the Shulchan Aruch, and if grandma had handles, she’d be a wheelbarrow.
please, i don’t consider this any help, this is just saving a half a year for only 30% of boys the rest leave any way after 3rd year, if he wants to help, he should abolish 1st year, the ones that understand rabbi lublings shiur, will understand it a year earlier
I think that most people will agree that by age 26 for females or about then most females that are shidduch dating are married. Probably 90 percent. So it would seem to me that there isnt any shidduch problem . I play the long game.
For the remaining few percent of umarried singles past their 40s in our communities there is usually a specific reason or reasons they have never been married or engaged. The remaining few few percent that dont haveva specific thing or things we can point to as to why they are not married may have validity. No system guarentess 100 percent success. But there os absolutely no shidduch crisis based on abive .
Big on announcement but short on substance.
For about ten different reasons combined I can tell you that this will change almost nothing.
Nobody, nor the articles on these subjects mention the demographic reason there are more girls than boys causing the problem. Statistically births are 50/50 boys and girls. The problem began a few generations ago because girls get married younger on average 2-3 years. This means, demographically, that girls are about 1/4 generation ahead of boys (4-5 years). So, as the population increases with time, there are going to be more girls of marriageable age around. Here the Rosh Yeshiva (correctly) opined that taking away 4th year bais Medrash to encourage bochrim to lower the average age of marriage could even things out. But at the same time it would help if that year was added to girls seminary so their average age of marriage goes up! Once the average age of marriage equals out for both boys and girls, the crisis will be over (in a few generations). The Psak in Teshuvos Yavetz can immediately end the crisis (but it may portend a new problem of a different nature).
To all the people saying that girls should marry older and that would solve the crisis: Isn’t that what’s happening now, by default?
I have heard from a source extremely close to this situation that most of what was said in this article is false.
All these eitzos, like eliminating 4th year bais medrash, won’t make a drop in the bucket difference! There is one eitza that will have an immediate effect and will also allow girls to be more discriminating. That is, implement the Psak of Rav Yakov Emden allowing a Pilegesh. When he came up with the Psak, it was not because there was a shidduch crisis, and all the other rabbonim did not agree. But now that there is a shidduch crisis, this will alleviate it, because girls that for whatever reason are less desirable as an ONLY wife, will be accepted as a second wife. The overall effect will allow girls with lots of mylos to be more discriminating to get a better choson. Furthermore, general society don’t care anymore about monogamy, that it might be a problem of polygamy laws.
Are the younger boys really equipped to be married? No life experience, no job, etc. So what if a 23 year oldboy marries a 22 year old girl. I don’t get it.