Myrtle Beach, SC – Abbie Dorn is confined to a wheelchair and hasn’t held her triplets since the day they were born. Last month her children, who live in L.A., spent time with her in South Carolina.
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Abbie Dorn sat in her high-backed wheelchair, a white board resting across her lap, head tilted a little to the left.
Arrayed on the board in front of the silent 34-year-old on this Thursday afternoon in early December were small sheets of paper, each printed with a single word. Happy. Sad. Scared. Anxious. Excited.
“Abbie,” prompted speech-language pathologist Sarah Gerace, “how do you feel about your children coming to visit?”
The motionless woman cast her eyes to the word “happy.” A moment later, they shifted to “sad.” “Did you mean happy, Abbie?” Gerace queried. Abbie blinked in response. “Did you mean sad?” She blinked again. “Did you mean happy and sad?” Another blink, long and definitive.
Two months after Abbie turned 30, Esti, Reuvi and Yossi were born at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. The triplets, now 4 1/2, were strong and healthy, but a series of medical errors eventually left their young mother largely unable to move or communicate except by blinking.
Abbie has held her babies just once: the day they were born. She and her husband, Dan, have since divorced, and they are locked in an angry legal struggle over the children they once dreamed of and prayed for.
Abbie is fighting for visitation through her parents, Susan and Paul Cohen, who have been named her conservators. Dan has argued in court that seeing their disabled mother would cause the children grave harm and that he, as their only “fit” parent, has the ultimate right to make decisions about their care.
By the time of the speech therapy visit, Abbie had not seen her children for more than three years. But now, they were due to arrive in just four days for a secret visit that not even the court was aware of.
And how was she? Happy, Susan said, recounting the speech therapy visit. And sad.
The Dorn case has been in and out of Los Angeles County Superior Court for nearly a year, (as was reported here on VosIzNeias.com), wending its way slowly toward trial. The children, who live in Los Angeles with their father, have been evaluated by a psychologist, Abbie, who lives in South Carolina with her parents, has been examined by a neurologist. A gag order was put in place to keep all parties silent about the visit, and then was lifted last week.
Throughout the contentious process, the attorneys’ arguments have largely stayed the same, though their volume has risen with the passing months.
Vicki J. Greene, who represents Dan, has argued in documents and in court that “the constitutional right to visit with one’s children is reserved for fit parents only.”
I think this man decided it would cause him grave harm to be married to a woman who suddenly became disabled and he is now harming his children by denying them a mother’s love ….. how awful for those children. I hope the children will be given time to know their mother and maybe teach their father that the love fostered between mother and child can not be thwarted by physical disability.
I know what I just read above – so if the article is quoting the father – then I stand by what I say. If the article misquotes and shares the wrong information – then take it up with the author of the article.
“Dan has argued in court that seeing their disabled mother would cause the children grave harm”
In his opinion!
“and that he, as their only “fit” parent, has the ultimate right to make decisions about their care.”
What is the definition of fit parent?
You do realize that all court transcripts become public?
Anyone could find out the details of this case.
As I read it here – I feel for the mother and the children, and I stand by that.
Court transcripts are available to the public unless they are specifically sealed (which sometimes happens in cases involving minors). I have no idea, however, if they are free or you must pay a fee for them, but they are public information.
This is a very sad story, i feel so bad for everyone in this story, may Hashem help that all yidden should only share simchos!
The court’s definition of an unfit parent is someone who may harm the children by taking drugs or by the cpmpany he/she keeps, not a persom who is physically disabled; and keep in mind that this woman became physically disabled giving birth to those children. The former husabnd must be a heartless s-o-b.
“Maybe his in-laws aren’t frum”? OMG! Can’t you think on a human level? Even assuming the grandparents aren’t frum, WHO CARES? Why shouldn’t they have a relationship with their grandchildren? Don’t be cruel while wrapping yourself up in a phoney mantel of Torah.
I think the father has spite against the mother and the family. He once had a happy life with her ( I hope) and even if not she is the mother of these kids and deserves respect for that. Saying she can’t see when she really could is disgusting and a crime. I think he should be investigated as to how he is raising his kids with animosity towards their mother.
According to the official court documents as well as this article – Abie (her parents on her behalf) are fighting for visitation, not custody. This means they want the right for their daughter to spend time seeing her kids and vise versa. They are not asking for the kids to be shipped off (Dan is welcome to bring them by). They first had to win the right to even fight for custody because Dan’s lawyer first argued that she as “disabled” woman does not even have the right in the first place to fight for visitation. The Judge declared that Abie has a right to fight for visitation and that is what she via her parents are doing. If you think that a woman who blinks to communicate must not be able to feel love – you can not make that determination – no one can. If a mother gave birth to a child and that child was deprived of oxygen at birth rendering the child similar to Abie – no one would forgive a mother for just abandoning that child. Who is to say that these children will not be angered when older, that they were forced to completely abandon their mother solely because she became disabled.
Whatever the facts are, the fact that a mother who became disabled subsequent to giving birth to triplets, and hasn’t held them (even if it is with assistance) but once in their lives is very sad. This is their mother!! What could she have possibly done to cause the father to be so over-protective of the children? I understand she may angry and have resentment over the situation, who wouldn’t be? But that is for the courtrooms to decide and to assign caseworkers and psychologists to help the children, mother, father, grandparents to learn to cope and deal with this in the best way possible. Compassion for all sides is necessary.