NEW YORK (Rabbi Elchanan Poupko) — When calling out the double standards of Shraying Givalt about New York State’s crackdown on some Chassidishe Yeshivas while ignoring the crisis of girls and bochrim who do not get into any school and are left on the sidelines, there was one common response I got from several people: “How dare you speak that way, do you know how much time other Askanim and I dedicate to getting kids into schools.”
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Incidentally, this is exactly the problem I was talking about. Unfortunately, our current system is built to fail a percentage of our children–a situation we cannot remain silent about.
Speaking to parents in Lakewood, I hear of people needing special recommendations, “pull,” or “protektzia,” to get a kid into middle school or even first grade. Why is there an askan industry for getting kids into school? Why are so many askanim (who, in most cases, are truly kind, selfless, and dedicated to the klal) needed for the simple task of getting a child into elementary school? Why is the seminary a mother went to or the Yeshiva a father went to a function at all in getting a child into school?
Even if most frum families end up getting their child into school with a relatively small effort and getting the recommendations they need relatively easy, does the process you have gone through not tell you what others who are not as well connected as you are going through???
Our system is broken, too many kids are left out or left scared for life, and too many kids look at the system they have been through and decide this is not something they would like for their child.
To the senior mechanchim and mechanchos who know a little about the history of Jewish life in America: I beg you, ask yourself why it was that people in your positions were knocking on doors begging families to send their children to your mosdos in the 1950s and 1960s. Remember the days that as long as someone was shomer shabbos, we were thrilled to have them as part of our community? Now that everyone has their comfortable shtellers and jobs, and your schools are full by virtue of you waking up in the morning, we are suddenly telling people we don’t take them into our schools???
A principal of a prestigious girls’ seminary in Israel said not long ago that had she and her colleagues grown up today; there is no way they would get into the schools they are running. Are we making a conscious decision to let go of 10-20% of our children so that our schools can keep a fake and immoral sense of exclusivity? Has the yardstick for measuring how frum a school is by how many people we push away? We must be honest with ourselves, and if that is indeed the measure, we must change things around very quickly.
The Gemara (Bava Basra 21a) tells us that originally, only children with a capable father were studying Torah until finally Rabbi Yehoshua Ben Gamla established schools in every town so that every child have access to Torah education–even if they didn’t have a father and even if they misbehaved. We are told that had it not been for him Torah would have been completely forgotten from our people. Why? Because when Torah depends on Shayenh Yidden with high social status and everyone else is out, that is the beginning of the end. We must not allow this to happen.
I once spoke to a menahel about getting a kid into a school and was told that he would like to take the kid in, but there are those families who complain when a kid from a less solid background is allowed in. To those who think they are making things better for everyone by keeping other people out: your children are, infact not better off by excluding others. It may work one year or two years, but children have a very good sense for what is right and what is wrong and eventually, they will realize the immorality of such actions and either turn on you or on the way you raised them.
It is time to give more attention to the double digits of people leaving our community and the not even single digits joining it than we do to insulting articles in the New York Times. It is time to make Askanim, connections, Yichus, “protektzia,” “pull,” and other negative new trends in school admissions obsolete so that every child knows they have a place to go, from kindergarten to elementary school, to Yeshiva, High School, seminary, and summer camp.
Vechol bonayich Limuday Hashem Ve’Rav Shlom Bonayich.
The writer is an eleventh-generation rabbi, teacher and author. He has written Sacred Days on the Jewish Holidays, Poupko on the Parsha, and hundreds of articles published in five languages. He is a member of the executive committee of the Rabbinical Council of America.
Dear Rabbi Poupko,
As a parent of a child without a school, I am deeply touched.
While I am not sure what practical benefit would amount from your letter, the very writing of it is encouraging and an enormous breath of fresh air, so thank you…so much!
How so utterly true it is what you write about askanim. Do we not realize how sad it is that askanim are necessary to get our children into a school? And l’maan Hashem, do we not grasp the enormous pain these children are in?
Apparently not.
Thank you again, Rabbi Poupko.
I personally know of 6 kids that need to be in school and are currently home, In Monsey.
Any help
would be greatly appreciated!!!
“Why is there an askan industry for getting kids into school? Why are so many askanim needed for the simple task of getting a child into school?”
So perfectly and poignantly written.
Yasher koach to the author and a pending yasher koach to the schools for hopefully finally getting it.
B”H in the large community I live in there is a community schools with B”H well over a thousand boys. Its not owned by anybody so it services almost all of the families. Its also the “Default” school so sending there is not a BiDieved. The problem sadly I see with it I don’t see elsewhere is the parents are open to a diverse student body. They believe diversity is a strength not a minus. Boys range from Centrist Modern Orthodox, Right wing Modern Orthodox, Modern Yeshivish, Yeshivish & Chasidish with the bulk being RWMO & Modern Yeshivish. They don’t ask if you have internet, a TV or sheitel length. That’s the families decision. I love watching their videos & seeing on a boys Bo Bayom a kippah serugah, leather Yarmulke & black hat dancing together or Davening around half the boys have no hat & half do. My only fear is if more schools adopt this concept Moshiach might come before I’m ready.
Wow!! I have had issues with many of your op-eds on this website. You really got it right this time! Baruch Hashem I live in a decent sized out of town community where we all live in harmony no matter who my 1st grade rebbi was
So powerful and true. Thanks Rabbi Poupko for writing this amazing article and thanks for VINnews for publishing this very much needed article
“It is time to make Askanim, connections, Yichus, “protektzia,” “pull,” and other negative new trends in school admissions obsolete so that every child knows they have a place to go, from kindergarten to elementary school, to Yeshiva, High School, seminary, and summer camp.”
“The writer is an eleventh-generation rabbi”
Seems like yichus IS important!!??
We need central command centers in our communities like present day europe where there exists real responsibility for community.
Not only people who deep down in reality its only doing volunteer and favors
OK Rabbi Poupko, I’m convinced.
Tell me how I can apply and get the children without a school into YOUR school
Maybe Yeshivas should employ a matching system like the kind used for medical residency programs. Everybody gets matched but not everybody gets what they want.
It’s not broken. Its the economics of supply and demand. There is just not enough schools to necessarily accommodate all So it’s ‘Hard’ to get in. No difference then if there were 100 boys but only 80 lunches to be served. It becomes hard to get lunch and only certain people (80, to be exact) will get lunch and the rest wont. And decisions on which 80 will have to be made but only 80 overall will get lunch thay day.
Your making this sound like there are enough schools and the schools are just making it hard to get in. NO, that’s not the case. There is anshortage of schools. Look at Boys Mesivta’s. There is not much of a shortage and therefore it’s not too hard to get into a mainstream Mesivta. So lets not blame the schools, who have done more to fix the problem, simply by operating a school, then us, who have done nothing other then complain.
The problem, I am sorry to say, is with the rabbonim. Schools are not private businesses, they are for the tsibbur. The rabbonim should simply announce (as I believe they once did in Lakewood) that all schools will close until every child has a place. If some parents don’t like it, then home school your children.
The headline says that getting kids into school should not be hard – but then it does not say how to get kids into school! There are huge problems with the schools, system, rabbis, askonim etc etc etc, but that still doesnt solve the problem.
So how do the people with kids who are not in school actually get their kids into school?
I wrote about the problem, but I do have solution. In our current system if a three-year-old gets into a yeshiva he / she will be there through eighth grade. The
problem now is the mesivta / seminary only wants the cream of the crop. The solution is to make every yeshiva have a mesivta where every student can go to. There can be private mesivtos but at least for so the called weaker student they will have a place to go without having their self-esteem killed. There should also be less emphasis on tests and farhers. Of course, there should be accountability. but is a 14- 15-year-old becoming a rov or a dayin that if he doesn’t do well on a test he should be ostracized.
I have exact same acceptance policies as Rabbi Poupko. I don’t turn down anyone from schools I don’t run and I agree 100% that every child should a place in the schools I don’t run too.
you wrote that the kids who get rejected are scared for life did you mean to write scarred for life, or do they walk around scared all day and if so why?
as for the double digits leaving, not true – we went through this in your last article
maybe you open a school and seminary- you can find your unique niche by supporting cuomo, liberalism, abortion, and all the other positions you have advocated in the past. obviously, masks and social distancing mandatory.
This guy’s kvetching is highly uninformed. There is no problem of getting a kid into a school in Lakewood. The problem is getting into a school of the parent’s choice. There are many newer schools that are chaleshing for kids to enroll, and get them off the ground to become a successful mossad. The problem is that everyone needs to send only to the most prestigious schools, one that “pases” for their family. What makes a school prestigious is that they are in a position to only accept certain types of students. You then have the situation of a parent who doesn’t meet that criteria kvetching about the exclusivity of that school, when the only thing that made that school prestigious in the first place is that they don’t accept people like you. Your child is perfectly able to get a wonderful chinuch in a school that is newer and less prestigious, if only YOU wouldn’t be so exclusive, and would let the dedicated mechanchim of a “regular” school educate your child.
This situation may be less than ideal, but it has nothing whatsoever to do with R’ Yehoshua ben Gamla et al,
Please post what YOU are doing about it? You are an eleventh-generation rabbi, teacher and author. PLEASE help
This article and comments are EXHIBIT A for NY Board of Regents. Maazal Tov!
Do you ever have anything positive to say about the Jewish community?
Can we stop getting lecturing articles by this guy? He does nothing for the klal, other then complain. He’s not a pulpit rabbi, no-one cares what he has to complain about.
take a walk on the brighton beach park , see the russians playing chess ..as you glance at the board “FROM ABOVE” you smirk why doesnt he move his bishop over there look at his horse in a dumb position…its easy to sit on the sidelines with no horse in the race and give ” dayos”.. a painful topic with a percentage getting hurt, EMES, but many can easily explain all the points you mention from the mosad & communal perspective.. maybe later i gotta to work now
Does this fellow ever have anything positive to say rather than criticize a community he does not belong to and has no familiarity with? ?
This author is Completely ignorant and haughty.
It’s simple math. There are not enough school for the thriving population due to astronomical growth BH
If you want to help the situation, stop lecturing and talking big, and move to Toms River or Jackson and open a school.
I don’t know where he lives or what his occupation is, but kindly get off your high horse and get into the trenches.
Who are you writing to? The “system”? Who is “the system”? Are the school owners at fault? What did they do wrong? They have hundreds of applicants for a handful of open slots.
They should be commended for their sacrifice and selflessness by dedicating their every minute to the kall.
Also, Keep in mind that people are moving in droves from established communities where they can go to a great school, and expecting “the system” to provide them with everything they want, while flaunting their various lifestyles which may not be in line with their new community. This is a choice that they made, and sometimes it’s their children who pay the price.
Schools don’t grow on trees. If 1000’s of elementary age children of all grade levels move into lakewood over a couple years, where exactly do you expect them to be placed? If the parents watch secular movies on sundays with their children & allow internet use, do they belong in Lakewood Cheder? No, they don’t.
You are using peoples frustrations with the system which is doing quite well as a way to knock our mosdos. Don’t use self rightious indignation as an excuse to belittle others.
The blogger lives on the clicks he generates. Great hot button topic to get peoples attention.
Someone should ask Poupko how quickly he would allow a vocal “Trump is still my president” Republican into his school.
Oh, I forgot, he doesn’t have a school. But he knows exactly how to run one.
He has as much expertise in this matter as Baden has on the economy.
but arent all the askanim affiliated with Aguda in lakewood making sure every non protected child has a school, isnt this the famous VAAD?
All comments are unnecessary his profound stupidity and selfishness speak for themselves
Dear MR Poupko,
I think your frum bashing is utterly repulsive. every article in one way or the other mudslinging our institutions. things could always be improved, but to slime up publicly our nation is shameful. other than the goyim and the frei have you helped ANYONE with your slander. have you ACCOMPLISHED ANYTHING. shame on you and the ridiculous websites that posts your comments. you remain like your last name a poupik/ mannquin for the anti-frum to hold parade around!
i agree 100perecnt with Harav Popko. He is right. Everything with klal yisrael is horibal. Booh hooh !!!!!!!! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!! boo hooh waaaaaaaahhh!
More fake news. Every Yiddishe kint can get into a Yeshiva. That’s not a problem. It’s only, that they “MUST” get into a specific Yeshiva. The arrogant narcissistic parents are the ones at fault. If my child doesn’t get into this specific Yeshiva or Bais Yaakov, my child won’t get that top tiered shidduch! It will reflect bad on me! Evil wicked parents. There is no schooling crisis and there never was one. Fake hoax concocted by a few bitter evil parents who had their fragile pride and “feelings” hurt. Their little heiligeh tzatzgileh is “forced” to go to the “wrong” Yeshiva.