“Honey, I did what you asked” or would that be lying?

by Rabbi Yair Hoffman for the S’fas Tamim Foundation

QUESTION: My wife often asks me to do chores that involve a lot of manual labor. I am not really up to it at times. There is a corner deli about a half mile away where day laborers gather to be picked up by contractors to garden, paint, etc. Am I allowed to pick one or two of them up, have them do the work my wife asked me to do and later say, “Honey, I did what you asked” or would that be lying?

ANSWER: The Sefer Titain Emes L’Yaakov p. 314 cites a Rashbam in Bava Basra 81b that implies it is permitted to do so. The Gemorah (ibid.) discusses a case where an owner hired a messenger to take the owner’s first fruits (Bikurim) to Yerushalayim and then the owner would offer them in the Bais Hamikdash.

However, the messenger brought the Bikurim part of the way, but died before he finished his mission. As such, the owner had to take the Bikurim himself the rest of the way and then offer them. The Gemorah (ibid.) tells us that in such a case, the passage that one states when they offer the Bikurim is not recited because the passage implies (through a Drasha) that both the taking of the Bikurim to Yerushalayim and the offering of the Bikurim need to be performed by the same person.

Rav Ashi explains that even though it was the same person in our case who took and offered the Bikurim (i.e. the owner), because the messenger did part of the taking to Yerushalayim as well before he died, it has the appearance of falsehood. However, notes the Rashbam, the Gemorah implies that there would not be a problem for the owner to recite the passage if the messenger did not die and fulfilled his mission of taking the Bikurim to Yerushalayim. 

We see from here that the owner can recite the passage which to paraphrase, says in part, “Hashem, I have fulfilled my obligation to take the Bikurim” even though his messenger took them. This is analogous to your question – you can tell your wife that you did what you were asked to do, even if you asked others to do it for you.

The Sefer Titain Emes L’Yaakov qualifies this ruling as only being applicable when no skilled labor is involved. However, if there was skilled labor involved, it would violate the prohibition of deception (Genaivas Daas) because your wife may assume that you have the ability to perform the skilled labor when in fact you do not. 

Therefore, if your wife asked you to build her a backyard deck and you hired others to do so, you may not say “I did what you asked” because she will think that you have an expertise that you do not have. However, if she asked you to mow the lawn and you asked another to do it, then it would be permitted.

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