Learning How To Love Yourself: 4 Powerful Habits To Implement

When we don’t know how to do/struggle to understand something, we research, practice, and ask questions. Eventually, after consistently working through our difficulty and regularly practicing the steps, we find the time before we could do it to be a distant memory.

The same should be true with loving ourselves. Self love can feel like an incredibly difficult skill to master; maybe you’re so deeply stuck in self insecurity that you don’t know where to start; maybe you’ve never thought of self love as a practice you can implement and learn. The good news is that you don’t have to become an expert or try to “master” loving yourself—it doesn’t really work that way. Learning to love yourself is done through daily habits, altering your mindset, and simply trying your best. 

As with everything, practice makes perfect. Another cliche that applies here is the idea that you can fake it until you make it. Loving yourself can be a bit of a rollercoaster; some days you might be filled with pride and warmth when you think of all your hard work and progress, while other days you might struggle to view yourself kindly. However, over time you can build your self love mindset through habits just like you would train a muscle. Eventually, you’ll find those moments of doubt to be few and far between.

Here are four powerful self love habits you can implement in your life to get you started on your journey to fully and unconditionally loving yourself. 

Remember How Far You’ve Come

Whether you’re 15 or 85, you’ve already started your journey of learning about yourself, so this step applies to everyone. Take time to remember how far you’ve come down your personal path of growth. Every time you wonder how to love yourself, be gentle and kind as you reflect on yourself six months, a year, five years, or twenty years ago. Allow yourself to feel grace towards your weaknesses and struggles as you remember the road you’ve taken so far, and where you’re still going.

Think of Yourself As a Multifaceted Person

One aspect of self love that many people struggle with, no matter their age or sexuality, is finding love for their physical appearances. While the process of loving your external appearance can be an arduous one, it’s essential to remember that you are so much more than how you look. It’s easy to get bogged down in reducing yourself to your outward form (and it can become difficult to zoom out enough to see yourself as more than this or that tiny element of your looks). But remember that there are infinitely more layers to you. 

In fact, the way you look is the least interesting and least significant piece of your puzzle. Every time you find yourself obsessing over your appearance, remind yourself that you’re intelligent, creative, hardworking, interesting, kind, and full of ideas and dreams; these are worth exceedingly more.

Replace the Negative Thoughts with Positive Ones

We all experience intrusive thoughts accusing us of our perceived faults. Self love, just like love for another person, includes standing up for yourself. Whenever a negative thought pops into your head, defend yourself! Replace that thought with something positive instead. In this way, you’ll change your personal narrative and shift your mindset. 

If you start to feel like you aren’t smart enough when you can’t understand something, immediately remind yourself about how hard you’re trying and that there is time to keep learning until you understand. Just as you would encourage a friend who feels down, try to lift yourself up by putting things into perspective.

Don’t Let Comparison Be Part of Your Life 

When has comparison been truly helpful? It seems as though most of the time comparison is a practice we have to learn to avoid. President Roosevelt said “Comparison is the thief of joy,” and he couldn’t have been more accurate. Don’t let yourself draw comparisons between yourself and others—not on social media (it’s mostly curated anyways), not the way they look, their positions in life, their salaries, their families, or any aspect. We all have different timelines, so it’s not useful to compare your chapter to someone else’s. Plus, most of the time you don’t actually know what another person is experiencing; their perfect life might be a total lie.

Takeaway

Self love is not always an easy practice—it can take years and a rollercoaster of ups and downs before it becomes a more natural mindset. It helps learning to turn self love into a healthy habit. Some things simply take a little more practice than others; self love may be one of these things for you. Fortunately, just like everything else in life, with enough effort and consistency, you’ll change your thinking about yourself and in turn change your whole life. Just take it one day, or even one negative thought, at a time.