NEW YORK (VINnews) — Dr. Yosef Sokol appeared on the VIN Podcast to discuss his groundbreaking new study regarding the Shidduch Crisis.
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(The full interview will be released later this week)
Dr. Sokol explained that while there is clearly a painful crisis, his research (if accurate), suggests that the underlying reasons for the crisis may be different than what many believe.
His data suggests that the vast majority of girls (96%) eventually get married, however too many get married far later than we would hope. If so, the solution would begin with helping boys and girls find their match sooner and get married younger.
Dr. Sokol also explained why the “age gap theory”, despite making logical sense, may not be a given.
And he discussed why he decided to conduct a study on marriage trends in the orthodox community in the first place.
The full interview will be released later this week.
Dr. Sokol is an assistant Professor at Touro College and a licensed psychologist, as well as a Musmach of Yeshiva Bais Yosef.
Dr. Yosef, while your research focuses mainly in the Yeshivish community, please be aware the Chasidish community in general has an opposite problem (perhaps not as pronounced though), boys are having a much harder time vs. girls to get married. Ask any Chasidishe shadchan to verify this issue, as strange as it may sound, but it’s true.
Perhaps the Chasidish system would benefit to adopt some components from the Yeshivish and vice versa. This may well become an enlightening solution BE”H to alleviate the hardship in both communities. Thank you
My friend has two lovely daughters in their twenties
The shadchans don’t even pick up the phone they have hundreds of girls and wont give her the time of the day
Her daughters are not getting dates
She feels like nobody cares and there’s nobody to set the girls up
A sucessful shadchan in Manhatten once explained his secret (to Bob Wallace, on 60 Minutes): “I don’t make matches, G-d does!” He then explained how seemingly uncoventional matches were “set up” for him, from Heaven. (Read Rashi’s commentary on “where’s Dinah” at the crossing of the Yabbok River.)
Dr. Yosef, you should be Gebenched, the kidush hashem you made with producing this study is unparalleled. Now all those who did not believe when Chazal said Bas ploni l’plonei lost their argument. You should give a brachah to all the bnos yisroel waiting for a yeshuah.
I believe the main reason why men marry women younger than them, (worldwide, not only in Jewish circles) is because men are generally not as mature as women / takes longer for men to mature than women. In general, at 19 a woman is mature enough to get married, but a man is not until 21(maybe). [Yes, always exceptions]
Every wedding hall is booked four months out. After the third or fourth date, people are calling halls to check for available dates “just in case the shidduch happens”.
There is no Shidduch crisis. There is a wedding hall crisis
This is proof there is no age gap theory, it’s all a myth. Men ALWAYS married younger women even in feminist circles amongst lehavdil goyim men marry younger women even YU crowd same thing.
I have no idea the point of this. Even if it were true that most woman eventually get married, having them get married at 40 is not amazing so the facts remain. There is a crisis due to a mathematical age gap that can’t be disputed and nothing has changed on account of this research.
Women getting married in their 30s and 40s IS a crisis. But we need tefilla and teshuva . Not statistics!