ISRAEL (VINnews) — A delegation of leading American Roshei Yeshiva have traveled to Israel to consult with Rav Moshe Hillel Hirsch shlit”a about the Shidduch Crisis, according to Charedi media outlets.
According to the report, the group is considering a dramatic move – shortening the amount of years boys learn in yeshiva before they begin dating.
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The delegation led by Rav Mendel Slomovitz shlit”a of Lakewood consists of R’ Mottel Dick shlit”a, Rav Yehuda Svei shlit”a, and the Novominsker Rebbe shlit”a.
They are reportedly considering eliminating one year of high school or bais medrash, which would hopefully decrease the infamous “age gap”, by encouraging boys to begin dating sooner.
This dramatic move would appear to be a strong endorsement of the “age gap theory”, which posits that the main reason for the Shidduch Crisis is that there are more girls in the dating pool than boys, due to population growth each year, combined with the fact that older boys tend to date younger girls.
Marrying younger sounds like a solution from Chelm.
Stunt the growth of learning of the bochurim to get the girls married. Crazy!
Tell the shadchonim not to “red” shiduchim for any girl under 20. By 20 she’ll have a better idea of what she really needs and the bochur who goes out with her will have a better idea of what she really is. This would also help ease the divorce crisis.
I’d love to know what % can be attributed to gaavah (pride). I have a neighbor that has an older daughter (low 30s). Tried a few to times to suggest a shidduch and the father knocked them all down. I was thinking to myself, “Sheesh, she is in her 30s can’t she make her own decisions?” and “Open your eyes man, she’s no spring chicken!!” Also, I am very apprehensive to suggest another shidduch with his attitude.
As I understand there is no shidduch crisis for 17-18 year old girls (who would presumably be the targets of these younger bochurim) — the problem is for the older single girls that somehow escaped the shidduch rush and are now 24-30 or so — I am not sure how this proposed idea will help them or lower their numbers in the future — if anything they rely on older single bochurim. Perhaps shadchanim should get together and promise to red older single girls first — if a say 24 year old bochur is looking for a shidduch– don’t offer a 20-21 year old girl but rather a 24-25 year old girl — there maturity will probably make a better marriage first of all, and second of all that is the key to preventing older single girls getting even older. Hopefully enough education — informal pressure (or if necessary more formal prssure) can be put on shadchanim and the idea will eventually leak into the general population that these are more appropriate shidduchim than a 24 yr old –20 yr old girl shidduch and will gradually change the bochurim’s mindset as well, b”ezras D.
Maybe we should re-visit טו באב
The “problem,” if it can be so dignified, is money. Specifically, if the girl’s family want a “learning boy” for a SIL then they need to pony up for a home, living support for the couple and then 2, 3, 4… children. Families of more modest means are frozen out of that scenario; they have to “compromise” and have their precious baby date tradesmen. Can’t have that!
I know there is zero correlation between weed and shiduchim but if shadchanim smoked weed before reading shiduchs, more hypotheticals would be out there and more non traditional matches can be made that can produce epic ehrlich kinder.
Interesting u didn’t print my reply.
I guess u want girls to only marry boys who are learning.
The working boys make money, give loads of Zedaka, but u would rather them remain single and just enjoy their money.
I get it
Let’s see if u print this
A year early living on tax payer funded benefits.
It’s an imbalance. Boys can always date younger and there is a new group of eligible girls every year. Girls date their age or older and for some reason, it’s taboo for a girl to marry someone a few years younger.
The math is terrible and the guys have some terrible preconceived notions. If anything, a guy in his late 20s is more marketable because he can date girls in their 20s and their phones ring off the hook.
A friend of mine still not married when we were in yeshiva was obsessed with dress sizes and would only date girls below a certain dress size. That’s a sick mindset for an otherwise really good guy.
So what’s the bottom line from the discussion? I have yet to hear the official solution and implementation?
Maybe teach the boys some secular studies/or a trade so they don’t take handouts from the government, cheat, lie, steal or rely on the tzibur’s funds later in life?
Who is the new Novominsker Rebbe?? When was he crowned?
Or the reverse: So many young Jewish men leave for elsewhere that the remaining girls have no one to marry but older bachelors, who are disallowed. Meanwhile, wealthy Jews divorce the wives of their youths to marry a woman half their age, and give generously.
If you really want to understand the Shidduch Crisis, then read the articles written by Rabbi Chananya Weissman.
dating in the yeshiva worldhttps://youtu.be/KZnPTXN-CBk
https://bernhardrosenberg.wordpress.com/tag/dating/
What does lakewood daas torah say?
There are always so many personal opinions in these comments. I can never understand why this is different than any other Halachik question in which we follow the Torah. Are there personal opinions as to which day a bris should be made? Do we push it to a Sunday if it makes more sense financially, or for convenience?
As mentioned a few times here. Every posek up until five minutes ago agrees that aside from very rare cases, one must get married before their 20th birthday. See Rambam (Ishus 15:2) Tur (e”h 1) and Shulchan Aruch (ibid.). You can also see whichever posek you wish because this is agreed upon by all.
Why Roshei Yeshiva don’t push the Torah law is beyond me.
Perhaps it’s time to be mekadesh young girls as children again! You know, the way it used to be. Parents know best! Or even to allow multiple wives? Yikes!