Israel – On the ‘haredi street’ it’s known that if an Ashkenazi guy marries a Sephardi girl he must have a problem. It’s unusual for Sephardim and Ashkenazim to get married because Sephardim are considered inferior and Ashkenazim are considered more elite. For a Sephardi girl it’s a step up in the world to get an Ashkenazi guy.” This is how Menachem (not his real name) explains the problematic nature of a match with a Sephardic girl in the haredi world.
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A peek into the haredi matchmaking world: Who’s a good catch and who’s not, what’s an old age to marry and how does love fit into the equation
In this world, marriages between two people from different ethnic groups are almost impossible, and are certainly rare, even today. The official explanation for racial segregation is different approaches to Jewish law. Ashkenazim, for example, tend to be stricter, while Sephardim are more lenient.
The real reason? “The real reason is racism,” says Ya’akov (not his real name), a Sephardi resident of Bnei Brak. On the one hand, he justifies the desire to find someone who is as suitable as possible in terms of Jewish law. “When you build a home you want to continue your ideology,” he says. On the other hand, he is angered by the condescension of the average Ashkenazi guy. “Someone once said to me, When will he be a perfectly righteous man in my eyes? When he wants to marry my daughter,” Ya’akov notes. Read Extended Article [ynet]
….I am Polish Russian Lithuanian and married Hungarian. NOw THAT is an intermarriage!!!! It took me years to get used to the house decorating. ….
YOY GEVALT..!…Nuh Hat..!!
A Galitzianer and a Magyar.
I bet you like her Goulash , though.
everything in the article is unfor-tunately true.i learned in e.yisroel for 7 years.i once agreed to go out with a sfardi girl and was asked very strongly how could do that she’s dark!a friend of mine a fine bochur was refused entry into an ashkenazi ye-shiva simply because he was sfardi.they gave some bologna excuse to cover up for themseves.it is well known that a yeshiva that has too many “franken”will be blacklisted by ashkenazim.when ger started their own bais yaacovs the main reason the litvishe were against the move was because they did not want to be stuck by themselves with sfardim.
In NY every Syrian girl or boy of marriagable age is looking for elites only,,,another Syrian girl or boy. Sefradim have passion, warmkit, and respect for their people and community no matter where the person is in the yiddishkeit spectrum. (ashkenazim can learn alot from this).
anon August 8, 2007 6:55 PM
“families pick up the culture and habits of the host country”.
exactly what I said:
“(NOTE : I’m talking about the Israeli first or second generation sfard. Those that still have some of the above mortality- influenced by the past generation)”
notice the same went to polish, Hungrarian and Russian first generation immigrant families didn’t mix.
“There is nothing wrong with how the Sefardim treat their wives”
Joseph:
I did NOT say WRONG I said “different” relatively to ashk. Which everyone will agree therefore it is hard for Ashkenazi girl to adjust to that treatment .
No offense to our holy brothers Bnei Sephardim (to some point have a more fundamental passion to religion than Ashkenazim meaning their CHILONIM are not le’hachis they all ‘believe’ and respect Judaism whereas some of our ashknoz.chilonim hate religion with a passion )
All this is in the terms of marriage/ matching, but on those other issues 12:52 has a point
there is no reason to justify such behavior!
Deri,
There is nothing wrong with how the Sefardim treat their wives.
anon 4:48
all that is nonsense and racist.
Sefradim & Ashkenikim in America are American, and S & A in Israel are Israeli diluting much of the past, as in Germany, Hungrarian and Russian families pick up the culture and habits of the host country.
in the recent tragedies we nebach wittnesed lately and we are searching for an answer, well this story with yidden and yidden having dificulty excepting each other might have something to do with this, I know of a sefardi girl which was not excepted in a ashkenazi school turned away from yidishkeit and married a goy when she got older, and I think that this inter racial marriage falls on the ashkenaz world at large, just like the chorban beis hamikdosh we all kept quiet while the big sin was happening which made us all liable.
12:52
There is truth in it BUT it has nothing to do with intermarriage it’s simple that they r two totally diff. cultures: sephardim – being influenced (to some degree) by the middle-east Arab culture/society – which defiantly treat their wives/women diff. VS Ashkenazim – by Europeans society , so for a sephardic girl it certainly is considered an upgrade to some degree, but for an Ashkenazi girl I cant think of it to happen (NOTE : I’m talking about the Israeli first or second generation sfard. Those that still have some of the above mortality- influenced by the past generation)
In Israel the sefradim in the yeshiva world are called “darkies”, and treated like them. The more charadei the less tolerance. Nothing to do with minhagim, the bochur can be from Hevron, Mir, or Ateres Yisrael, my neighbors were told to change their last name so they can get into the community chedar. Its a problem, that needs solutions not DENIAL.
4:24, See 4:19’s comments. He makes good points as to why there isn’t a great deal of intermarriage.
JOSEPH you are the biggest dreamer there is, more than Joseph and his technicolor coat. have you ever stepped into an Israeli yeshiva and tried redding a S girl to a chashuva bochur?…. Your anti left wing idealogy (which most of us share) and perversion to zionism never allows you to even touch the tip of the iceberg in reality and honesty.
I would say, the reason it’s not so common is, because Sephardi and Ashkenazi have completely different Minhogim and traditions. (as an example: Kitnios on Pesach etc.)Just as there are a minority Litvishe marrying Chasidishe, not because of racism or the like, but people would rather marry somebody as close as you can get to your own upbringing.
My wife is an American who grew up in E.Y. and went to Chasideshe schools. She always told me that to be called a Sefardi was as bad as being called an American. It seems that there is racisim. On the other hand when it comes to marriage there may be difficulties because of differences in child rearing and general cultures and therfore it needs more consideration.
1:47, now that you got that off your chest, go wash your mouth out with soap. Keep the nivul peh off here.
I am Polish Russian Lithuanian and married Hungarian. NOw THAT is an intermarriage!!!! It took me years to get used to the house decorating.
If it’s so rare, why do I know so many ‘intermarried” Sephardic/Ashkenazic couples?
Daniel,
Don’t be so quick to jump the gun and assume racism in every action.
Also don’t assume that a fully Ashkenzic family can easily and automatically get their children in their first (or even second) Yeshiva of choice.
Many issues are at play. Ashkenaz/Sephardic is not a factor in the Torah community. You’ll find MANY Sephardim in many of the top Ashkenaz Yeshivos in Eretz Yisroel AND in America.
to 12:52 pm, git gezuckt I beleive their is a transition going on from the ashkenaz point we dont have our full trust in them, but as time goes by the new generation will be fully accepted amongs the ashkenaz world, the morocon community came out in the 70 and 80 from a country of arab style upbringing uncluding their davening, and of course its a beutiful davening for hashem, but for us it takes time for the transition.
Ynet is know to have a extreme hatred for religious Jews. they write lies to make religious Jews look bad. Its the non religious ashkenazi Jews who hate Sephardim because Sephardim tend to be more religious. Even non religious Sephardim usually respect religion.
It’s pathetic but true – the Israelis look down upon Sephardim. For shame! Thank goodness in America we have some brains. Absolute opposite of the way Yidden should behave. By the way, these geniuses should look into our history and see how many of our great and famous ancestors were Sephardim.
Joseph,
Your 100% wrong. A close family member of mine married a Sephardic guy (here in the states) and moved to Israel after ~10 years of marriage. Their kids were in grade school at the time of the move, and they were hoping to place their children in similar (charedi) schools in Israel. At the time they moved to Beit Shemesh, the largely Ashkenaz schools would have no part of them. After a short period of time they relocated to Har Nof and once again had difficulties getting their children into decent school. Thankfully, and after numerous schol visits and meetings with various community leaders their kids where accepted into the local charedi schools. The cause for the difficulties was simply because they are of Sephardic heritage, ‘look Sephardic’ and have a Sephardic sounding last name.
(Don’t bother saying that the children were not admitted to the school for behavioral reasons, the children were all in 5th grade or below).
The fact that segregation between Sephardic and Ashkenaz communities is rampant in Israel is unquestionable. Are both the secularists and the Charedim guilty of this? Certainly. Should we be holding the Charedim to a higher standard then the secularists? I’ll leave that question for each individual here to ponder.
This is nonsense. I’m Ashkenazi-Chassidish and I married a Sefardi girl.
I was looking for middos and personality, not which country her ancestors spent their exile in.
A great bonus is the food!
What a stupid article – complete hogwash!
I think this article is full of ignorance. Just like in any circle their are good people and better people, the same holds true for Sephardim.
To say that they are inferior is absolutely un-Jewish. We all have a Chelek Elokei Memaal Mamash.
My brother married a Sephardi girl who is an inspiration to our entire family. We all absolutely adore her and hope our daughters grow up to be as special as her.
What more than trash does anyone expect from the Ynet rag?
They have no compunctions about inventing facts to fit their left-wing anti-religious agenda.
This issue is at play amongst the secular zionists, not the religious. The zionists hold Sephardim in contempt, while the religious Ashkenazim and Sephardim see each other as brothers.
its interraccial
Yes Sephardim are unfortunately held in contempt by the Ashkenazim. They would even condescend Biblical personalities if they had the opportunity – that would be ironic. The ‘darkies’ texts must enter the Yeshiva must, but oy vey not their bodies. My family – and the best among the Sephardim – knew this early that’s why you see us immigrating to France, Canada, South America etc – everywhere but Ashkenaz. Discrimination sucks.